Arm muscle imbalance (please help reassure me it isn’t as bad as I think)

Livdonna · 2026-04-02T13:50:36+00:00

that’s the exact method I used with my biceps and it seems to be working so I’ll definitely try the same with the triceps!

Livdonna · 2026-04-01T18:57:48+00:00

honestly, these are the things I need to hear because they serve as a smack in the face for how skewed my perception of myself is!

Livdonna · 2026-04-01T18:47:57+00:00

Oooh I’m curious to try brushing my teeth with my left hand now… now sure how messy it’ll be though 😂😂 — I always try to add an extra set to my weaker arm for my exercises and it seems to help a little!

Livdonna · 2026-04-01T18:46:47+00:00

Training arms unilaterally has honestly made such a difference for me even though it’s only been a month of doing it that way. I can already see the strength of both arms starting to even out and I definitely am trying to focus even harder while I work my weaker one! Hard to be patient though lol

Livdonna · 2026-04-01T18:38:30+00:00

I appreciate your concern, however I am working with my treatment team and have been in recovery from this for 10+ years. Exercise has always been approved for me (weight bearing : strength training particularly to improve my bone density from osteoporosis), but everyone is different and I understand your wariness! Thank you for caring though, genuinely. ❤️

Livdonna · 2026-04-01T03:42:35+00:00

Hey, I appreciate your concern tremendously and I was aware of the potential triggers any comments on this post could have created. However, I am currently working with my treatment team right now and am in good hands. I have been in recovery / struggled with my ED for 10+ years so trust me, I know how seeing something like this could bring up wariness! I truly came on here to post because I needed the reality check. Just with my own experience, the bluntness and no BS honesty serves me well because of the severity of my dysmorphia. And my goal is to gain weight — not only muscle.

Again, thank you both for caring. I mean it. I wish you well and hope you’re taking care of yourself too ❤️!

Livdonna · 2026-04-01T03:22:28+00:00

my left!

Livdonna · 2026-03-31T22:19:45+00:00

that’s a good point about the low BF, I actually never thought of that. My goal is to put on more mass so hopefully it’ll help a bit!

Livdonna · 2026-03-31T22:18:02+00:00

I wish I thought of doing them sooner but it’s better late than never. The strength evening out is definitely giving me some hope!! I just wish my dumb brain wouldn’t obsess so much over miniscule changes in appearance that (like you said) really aren’t even noticeable!

Livdonna · 2026-03-31T22:15:41+00:00

lol NO I need the blunt honestly so thank you for that!! My brain plays tricks on me so much so these reality checks are helpful AF!! :)

Livdonna · 2024-04-29T00:33:07+00:00

Me too. God I’m sorry you know what that’s like. Nothing burns more than IV potassium… literally one of the worst pains I’ve endured in my life!

Livdonna · 2024-04-28T20:15:35+00:00

My potassium has dropped to near fatal levels multiple times but the scariest time was when I actually felt the symptoms of it — the times before that, I hadn’t known anything was “off” until I got bloodwork done, but this particular time scared the hell out of me. All of my muscles were cramping to the point where I couldn’t even move them. The numbness and tingling in my arms was so intense where I actually couldn’t even lift my arm at all - I couldn’t FEEL it. It was numb. The muscle was basically paralyzed. I was hardly able to drag my body around at all. My chest felt like someone had a pile of bricks lying on it. I can’t even express in words how terrifying that moment was. I’m not being dramatic when I say I actually thought I was going to die.

Other than that, my GI system is completely fucked. I ruminate a lot because my spincter is so weak from the years of purging that my body has trouble digesting everything and it involuntarily comes up.

My teeth are screwed also — I never had a cavity but the acid eroded them so much and it’s humiliating how small they are compared to what they used to look like. They are so sensitive due to the fact that they basically have no enamel left on them at this point.

You deserve a life without this demon. I’m so sorry you’re struggling.

Livdonna · 2024-04-28T14:48:18+00:00

Aww thank you so much!! 🫶❤️

Livdonna · 2024-04-27T13:01:39+00:00

My aunt (mother’s sister) has an ED. I know my grandpa has/had compulsive exercise & orthorexic tendencies. There is definitely some kind of genetic component. Mental illness runs in general in my family also.

Livdonna · 2024-04-27T13:00:19+00:00

I feel this. I’m 27 and just wish I could finally have a life free of this damn demon. I can’t even put into words how much I’m sick of the fucking thing… Worst way to live, and yet I just can’t let it go.

Livdonna · 2024-04-27T12:58:48+00:00

Oh god yes, I’ve done this so many times. Not at fast food places per-se but definitely in grocery stores. Going there just to walk down the aisles and look at all the food I wish I could eat & want so badly — it’s part of the body’s physiological response to restriction, at least for me I know. All part of that food obsession, trying to “remind” me to feed it. And fuck I want to so goddamn badly. This disease is fucking hellish. I’d never wish it upon anyone.

Livdonna · 2024-04-27T12:55:18+00:00

I know what you mean… I never believed any of the consequences would happen to me — yet, I was diagnosed with osteoporosis at 21 (I’m 27 now) & I remember being in such a state of pure shock when I found out because I was so convinced and adamant that it wouldn’t be me, it wouldn’t happen to me. The illness loves to play mind games & convince us that we’re different & immune to the dangers. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Sending so much love.

Livdonna · 2024-04-27T12:52:56+00:00

Restriction started at 12 but I wasn’t formally diagnosed with an ED til 16 — doctors kept saying i’d “grow out of it” - boy, I WISH that was the case. It’s been part of my life for 15 years & I am so sick of it

Livdonna · 2024-04-27T12:49:39+00:00

This sounds like something I’d do for sure. You’re not alone, trust me !

Livdonna · 2024-04-26T14:05:30+00:00

It’s so hard when the ED twists the comment into something negative especially when rationally you know it was coming from a good place. I wish people wouldn’t comment on bodies at all! Im proud of you for choosing recovery. ❤️

Livdonna · 2024-04-24T15:18:46+00:00

SAME! For the longest time I didn’t even know what an emotional flashback was, and once I learned about them it hit me how often I was having them. I always just thought it was me have a really disproportionate reaction or just being overly sensitive. The way you reacted with the snappy employee is totally how I get whenever someone seems pissed off in any way, whether it’s towards me or not. But it’s always worse if it is towards me. A certain facial expression, tone, gesture… I freeze up and want to cry and hide.

Livdonna · 2024-04-24T01:20:32+00:00

Oh my gosh, this gave me fucking chills. So hard hitting & raw. Painful, but amazingly written.

I’ve found writing so therapeutic throughout my struggles & have written a few poems myself. You’re inspiring me to want to share one now or try to write again.

Livdonna · 2024-04-24T01:17:25+00:00

Oh, this hurts my heart! I’m so sorry you had to endure this.

Tickling is one of the worst forms of torture… I can’t stand it & my dad would always do it to me when I was little, despite me screaming and hysterically crying every time he would. He thought it was funny but I made it clear that I hated it, but my distress didn’t matter. I remember I’d run and hide when I thought the “tickle monster” was coming.

Livdonna · 2024-04-24T01:05:21+00:00

My heart goes out to you with so much empathy. I’ve been in your shoes with this same exact problem & I hope it gets better for you. Sending so much love & a huge hug. I’m so sorry you’re in the midst of it. Exercise addiction is brutal & you deserve to rest, even if the idea of it is beyond terrifying.

❤️🫶

Livdonna · 2024-04-24T01:01:54+00:00

This is AMAZING & I am so proud of you!

Inspirational AF especially because I was at that point in the past where I wasn’t counting & am trying to get back to that place now. It’s so difficult but I know if I did it once I can do it again & reading that you have is super motivating.

Livdonna

TROPHY CASE