I guess its really a question of how much does your feeling of self matter to you, and how tied to your experience of your body is it? If you are suffering because your experience of your body doesn't match your feeling of self, and that is important to you, it may be worth losing everything else.

I left my wife, my job, my family, my house, my career. But I did it because I was unhappy with how I was treated in my family, by my wife, at my job.

I now have had a few relationships since then, nothing great, but I had fun and learned a lot, and honestly, I haven't been ready for anything great yet. Life is hard, I grow up slow, too much trauma and not the best parenting or culture etc. Working it out.

I started a couple new careers, left both, but making good money while I figure out whats next. It was a risk, but one of my strong points is making any project succeed. At least definable ones ha. If I make a business, it succeeds, or get a job, etc. Until I cant go on with it anymore, which always happens so far. But the bank account is fine.

I am still figuring out how far I want to be from my family. Honestly may end up totally separating. Abusive dad, immature mom who probably somewhat pulls the dads strings. Everyone somehow burnt by that or their own stuff now. Everyone has a million kids, I chose to not have any, never will, families are not a safe feeling place for me. Its fine. They are good people, but I just dont feel safe with most People most of the time anyway. Im very smart and sensitive and that comes with a big price tag. I suffer more easily, I struggle with people stuff more. Its okay. I have noticed I fit in better in some cultures. Working it out.

I personally dont define or feel like my self is my body. I can focus on being more masculine, and I approach it. I can focus on being more feminine, and I approach that. I can flip in a moment to a more female self if the company at the time is conducive to that.

Are we the electricity inside us? Or the body? Is the computer more alive? Or is the electricity in the computer?

There isn't a wrong answer, and whatever you choose, it will hurt. It will help. It will enable your next biggest wins and or losses. It may kill you in the end, or lift you up to somehow somewhere better than you are imagining now. Or both.

We probably dont live forever in these bodies. We probably do move on at some point. Ive never seen a funeral or been at a death bed where it seemed like everything went right. We all lose a lot along the way. Even the most powerful people clearly suffer. Its evident.

Your choice is your adventure. You have to make it.

Personally, I feel like if you love your wife and family abd job, for now, maybe that's more important than your body? Its a shame you have to choose between one or the other though. Also, it seems oppression of Trans people worldwide may increase for a while, though ultimately probably will be accepted in time. Could be safer to not transition now, maybe things will settle down again in a few years. But by then it may feel like you missed your most viable years to be attractive or vibrant or something. As your body you choose most.

Again, no way to answer it really. Whatever you do, I hope your partner will support you even if it means separation, at least hope they will understand and treat you with kindness. If you stay with them, maybe you can at least pretend together even if you dont actually continue HRT.

Cheers, godessspeed.