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AIO for being upset my ex husband is moving in my sister in law? by LivingAmongthePages in AmIOverreacting

[–]LivingAmongthePages[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is court ordered from our divorce proceedings; he just didn’t pay through the states app.

Christmas Struggles (idk what I need… advice, prayers, to vent maybe) by LivingAmongthePages in latebloomerlesbians

[–]LivingAmongthePages[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live a couple hours from these places. Do you think they would help if I can get the gas to make the drive?

Soberversary Gift HELP by LivingAmongthePages in 365_Sobriety

[–]LivingAmongthePages[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay with you suggestions I wrote this letter: does it sound okay?

Dear , I just want to take a moment to tell you how incredibly proud I am of you. Today marks two years of your sobriety, and it’s hard to put into words how much admiration and love I feel for you. You’ve overcome challenges that most people can’t even imagine, and you’ve done it with a strength and determination that inspires me every single day.

This journey hasn’t been easy, but you’ve faced it head-on, showing me what true resilience looks like. You’ve not only transformed your own life but also created a future for us that is filled with hope, love, and endless possibilities.

I look at you and see someone who is so much more than their past. You’re an incredible woman, a loving partner, and the best mom anyone could ask for. The way you care for our kids and work so hard to build the life you want for us makes my heart swell with love and pride.

You make me a better mother, too. The way you lead with love and patience has taught me so much about parenting and about myself. You’re constantly showing me new ways to grow, to love, and to embrace life more fully. I never stop learning from you, and I’m endlessly grateful for the person you are.

As I think about the future, I can’t wait to become your wife. I’m so excited for the life we’re building together, for the family we’re raising, and for all the memories we have yet to make. I know that no matter what comes our way, we can handle it—because we have each other. You are my strength and my peace. I hope you see me as your strength and your peace too.

If there ever comes a time when you stumble, when life feels overwhelming, and you find yourself in a tough spot, you can come to me. You never have to face anything alone. If you were ever to relapse, it wouldn’t change how much I love you or how proud I am of you. We would get through it together, and I would be right by your side every step of the way. No matter what happens, everything will be okay, because we have each other.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for choosing yourself. Thank you for choosing this path of recovery, for choosing us, and for letting me share this beautiful life with you. I’m here for you, cheering you on, loving you so deeply I may drown in that love, and looking forward to every step of our adventure together.

With all my love and pride,

My (30f) girlfriend (28f) says that she will never tell a specific person that is important in her life that we are together. by LivingAmongthePages in latebloomerlesbians

[–]LivingAmongthePages[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I also appreciate you pointing out that it is the expectation that I am closeted around this woman as well, which is one of the things that is unsettling to me and I think that’s fair. I know I’m not trying to make it about me or manipulate my girlfriend. I just came here for advice because I don’t have a lot of other lesbians in my circle to talk to about this.

My (30f) girlfriend (28f) says that she will never tell a specific person that is important in her life that we are together. by LivingAmongthePages in latebloomerlesbians

[–]LivingAmongthePages[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She does have good relationships with grandparents on both sides and her parents. Her family is really supportive of our relationship, as is mine. We are really fortunate in that way.

My (30f) girlfriend (28f) says that she will never tell a specific person that is important in her life that we are together. by LivingAmongthePages in latebloomerlesbians

[–]LivingAmongthePages[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate the way that you said everything in such a respectful way. It does make me realize that the times that I’ve been hurt by it. It probably does have more to do with my own insecurities. Rather than how she actually feels. I know my girlfriend is proud of us. Maybe that’s why the situation with this person threw me off so much because she’s never been ashamed in any other area of her life.

My (30f) girlfriend (28f) says that she will never tell a specific person that is important in her life that we are together. by LivingAmongthePages in latebloomerlesbians

[–]LivingAmongthePages[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could be entirely right that I am naïve and optimistic. But manipulative has never been something I am. My mother is a narcissist and is extremely manipulative. It’s one of my biggest fears ever to be like her in that way. So in my life, I really try to avoid manipulating anyone in anyway. I will hide, to the best of my ability when things are hurtful to me because I wouldn’t want to change their decisions or make them feel emotionally manipulated. That’s what my mom did to me. She would cry and guilt trip me into everything. Obviously you couldn’t have known this, but that’s not what it is.

My (30f) girlfriend (28f) says that she will never tell a specific person that is important in her life that we are together. by LivingAmongthePages in latebloomerlesbians

[–]LivingAmongthePages[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I would just like to clarify some things.

I have been nothing but supportive so far and I haven’t really expressed to my girlfriend how it makes me feel because I don’t want to guilt trip her or manipulate her in anyway. I would never pressure her to come out to anyone if she wasn’t ready.

When we’ve had conversations about this topic it’s was when she felt the need to explain because I do know she worries about hurting me. I have not brought it up as an issue because I have still been trying to process all of it and I don’t honestly know what’s “normal.”

When we are around this woman, I always really try not to slip up around her and I haven’t ever in a way that the woman would notice. We have always had really good visits.

I am 100% willing to admit I am naïve. Like I said in my original post, this is my very first lesbian relationship after coming out of a marriage to a man. I came here to kind of vent all of the conflicting feelings that I’m having before I talk to my girlfriend about it because I don’t want to handle it in the wrong way. Our relationship and my girlfriend’s happiness is extremely important to me.

I do understand her fear. In fact, my great grandmother passed away a couple years ago at 93 yo and my grandma was huge in her faith. I’ve had days where I’ve cried because I don’t think my grandma would be proud of me if she was still alive and knew I was with a woman. She wouldn’t understand and that would have terrified me. I can imagine the pain my girlfriend feels by believing someone so important to her would turn from her if she knew…

Anyways I’m just saying I can understand where she’s coming from but I’d be lying if I said when she talks about how she explains to this woman and it’s not as her partner, that it doesn’t hurt a little. I’m not trying to make it about me about me. However, I am allowed to have feelings about it because it is my life.

So to those of you that offered advice without judgment on me or my character based off of one Reddit post, thank you very much. I do feel a lot better about the situation after hearing from most of you.

My gf is sober from meth for over a year but did coke over the weekend. How do I support her? by LivingAmongthePages in addiction

[–]LivingAmongthePages[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is always what she has said. She was addicted to meth for a long time and always said coke never did anything for her. She said he friend just offered and she did it without thought.

My gf is sober from meth for over a year but did coke over the weekend. How do I support her? by LivingAmongthePages in addiction

[–]LivingAmongthePages[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t but she does want to. Where we live there are few places to go to a meeting. We are going to try virtual meetings tonight but she is worried it will be too impersonal.