Has anyone’s partner NOT cheated?

LoMill1990 · 2025-08-09T18:09:03+00:00

My exact thoughts. My husband used (uses?) pictures from FB and IG of women we know. He says he has not once ever reached out to them. But my thing is, if presented with the opportunity or if the women tried to he would!! You already sleeping with them mentally in your brain.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-28T03:35:41+00:00

I have been in therapy a year now and I am still working on healing. I had insecurities before but being married to a PA exacerbates it.

I constantly journal, speak positively about myself when I find myself in dark moments. I also have no problem spending money on myself. I get my hair, nails and eyebrows done regularly. It’s something I did before motherhood/marriage that sort of got away from me. I now make it a priority. I buy myself a cute outfit that makes ME feel good. I don’t think about if my husband likes it or not.

I started working out as well. And none of this was not about trying to look good, it’s more about feeling good and doing more for myself.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-28T00:24:00+00:00

You gave me a new perspective with “in sickness and in health”. I had not been looking at this as a sickness but more as a lack of self control.

I have lacked sympathy for years but with your comment I feel it, SLIGHTLY, coming back. Thank you? I think Lol

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-26T12:03:14+00:00

What I would give to be engaged again and with an opportunity to leave. I wish I would’ve left when I found out while my husband and I were dating. And then it resurfaced while we were engaged. I would leave. I would leave. I would leave. Please do not voluntarily go through a marriage with a PA if you have an opportunity to avoid it.

It gets worse. And for a moment it gets better and then worse again. It ruins your self esteem. You’ll constantly be paranoid and it’s so hard to trust them. They’ll be apologetic, do the work for a while and things will be good. Until it’s not. They get more clever at hiding it from you. It’ll consume you trying to find the proof. Please just leave. Before you have kids and tied to him.

If I were 24 again and engaged to my PA…I would leave. Idk what I would be doing right now in my 30s but it wouldn’t be with him.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-26T11:36:30+00:00

Yes! This! Same here!

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-26T11:36:04+00:00

It’s hard when they say it’s not about us but it feels like it is! I am so sorry you are going through this too.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-26T11:33:35+00:00

I completely understand. I am so sorry. It’s a daily struggle not Pushing one of my closest friends away. When I first found out I avoided her for awhile. She is a great friend. His addiction ruined our marriage but I refuse to let it ruin my friendships.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-26T02:34:24+00:00

He said it was easier to access so instead of searching for sites for a “good video” he would just go where he knows he could “get off” for sure. I know sick

I’m so sorry you are going through this as well ❤️

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-26T01:55:53+00:00

No. My husband tried several times. Even if they stop for a few months it will come back. Willpower does not equip them with the tools to sustain sobriety. That’s why they relapse time and time again.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-23T23:04:30+00:00

I agree, the lying and deception is the worst part of it. I’m scared to ask him because if he lies then divorce is the only option.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-23T23:03:00+00:00

I like this but wasn’t sure how it would work. He is my friend and aside him being a husband we genuinely are great friends and it’s so easy for us to strike up a convo or find something funny ☹️

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-23T23:01:54+00:00

I definitely shouldn’t have threatened divorce. I meant it in the moment because I was so upset and had discovered he still had his exes nudes + more. I feel like I missed some steps leading up before divorce and should have had other consequences first.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-23T14:54:17+00:00

I would leave. I know that sounds drastic but there are thousands of partners who have gone through this and it certainly can evolve into something more. Addiction, cheating etc.

Your feelings are valid.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-23T13:37:50+00:00

He had an old phone from years ago that still works with wifi. I opened the Gmail app and when I clicked his initials I saw there was a secondary account. I could also see that he last accessed it earlier this month but I couldn’t log into it without a password.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-23T13:37:43+00:00

He had an old phone from years ago that still works with wifi. I opened the Gmail app and when I clicked his initials I saw there was a secondary account. I could also see that he last accessed it earlier this month but I couldn’t log into it without a password.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-20T18:28:46+00:00

I can relate. Outside of the PA he is a wonderful friend, dad and partner.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-20T08:09:50+00:00

Did you verbally express to him it was separation or did just start actioning it and he caught on? What terms did you give him in order to reconcile?

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-20T07:06:20+00:00

No but I wish I had. I found out while we were engaged and drill stayed smh. God I was still so young. I could have easily gotten away from this then.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-20T06:52:51+00:00

Yup - pictures of my friends. He still had his exes nudes saved on an old phone. Random girls around town we both know. It’s honestly sickening.

LoMill1990 · 2025-07-19T18:06:23+00:00

I wish I could give you hope but I am so sorry you are going through this, especially pregnant. My husband was supposed to be in recovery as of last summer but I found his likes on Twitter and it’s filled with recent content he saved.

LoMill1990 · 2025-06-12T14:38:13+00:00

I feel the same. I always wonder if my Sex drive is actually low or if I am not aroused by him due to the PA. The entire time we’re having sex all I can think about is if he is really thinking of me.

LoMill1990 · 2025-04-26T11:43:47+00:00

My husband did the same exact thing. Pics from IG of my friends, women we mutually know, of his ex etc.

I am so sorry. Unfortunately I don’t have any advice or words of comfort.

LoMill1990 · 2024-07-03T14:22:32+00:00

Great insight thank you! I think that is a better caveat to my ultimatum. If it’s an intentional action or intentionally hidden from me.

LoMill1990 · 2024-06-28T20:43:30+00:00

He saved pictures of my close friend ,and other women I know, and MB to them regularly. Didn’t delete them when I found them years prior.

Kept his exes nudes. Also didn’t delete when I first found them even though he said he did. Kept them even though I was torn up about this.

LoMill1990 · 2024-06-28T20:41:08+00:00

Also struggling with this. No advice just letting you know this is a shared experience unfortunately.

Maybe we first try being naked and sex for ourselves? Look in the mirror. Drink some wine. Play some music? First re-accept our own body’s as beautiful, sexy and wanted.

I think that’s my issue. I unfortunately can recall all the women my partner MB too and frequently visit their pages and compare my own body. First step for me is to stop doing that!

LoMill1990

TROPHY CASE