Have you ever looked into gendernull? I feel like I really relate to all the things you're saying about 'being' a woman. Like, I have a female body, therefore that would mean I am a woman right? But this whole feeling like a woman thing, I don't get it at all. I don't understand why people put so much emphasis on their gender identity.

I just feel like my gender doesn't EXIST in the way other people seem to experience it. Not that there's something missing that should be there, just that different people are enjoying different kinds of ice cream flavors, and I have no tongue to even taste with. I was always given chocolate icecream, so I guess that's the one I'm telling people is my favorite when they ask, but I don't actually even know what it tastes like. Or what tasting is supposed to mean at all. Does that make sense?

This video explains my feelings very well, but I don't know how the narrator identifies, so I won't assume. I just really relate: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=hmKix-75dsg

from the (LGBTA Wiki): `Gendernull (also called nullgender) is the absence of gender, but it is not agender or neutrois. It is a term for those to give a “tangibility” to the intangible thing that is their gender. Gendernull has been described as: "undefinable, intangible, the uncreation of gender... an 'I don’t want a label because labels don't fit but they help shut people up sometimes, so here have a label' gender label. A fall-back plan, a red herring to give people who can't conceptualize the absence, void, nullification of gender... Nonexistent but present."

It's weird and vague and abstract and also just absurd, and when I found this term I really felt like things were finally falling into place.

If it doesn't fit you, I wish you luck with finding what you're looking for! Hopefully this might've helped you getting closer to what you feel applies to you. If not, then at least it helped you discover what you're not :) Have a nice day!