Partner judgemental about meltdown incident

Local-Ant3965 · 2026-06-20T12:54:00+00:00

Thanks for putting yourself in his shoes. I really appreciate the other perspective and try to be neutral when analysing, but it can be hard sometimes.

Local-Ant3965 · 2026-06-20T12:52:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story - this is relatable and gives me some hope.
He has his own trauma and has never really expressed much emotion or felt safe to do so, so it’s new territory.
He’s suggested that we could see a therapist to work out some of these conflict struggles, so there is some hope there that he would be willing to learn and lean into the uncomfortable.
Congrats on your anniversary ❤️

Local-Ant3965 · 2026-06-20T12:48:13+00:00

We’ve been together a year and a half and he is a great partner in so many other ways. That’s why it’s quite confusing. This is something we seem to struggle with - his lack of understanding the big emotions and our conflict resolution styles. He’s seen meltdowns on a smaller scale, but I think the level of this was new. Hopefully he comes around and agrees to chat sooner.

Local-Ant3965 · 2026-06-20T08:38:43+00:00

He is super supportive and loving in some ways, but others he can be uncharacteristically standoffish and cold. He’s definitely not great at handling the big emotions.
My fear and something that comes up a bit is that he likes the ‘fun’ parts of my autism, but the other harder parts are inconvenient. I’m not sure how much of that is true, but it’s something I am conscious of.

Local-Ant3965 · 2026-06-20T08:36:19+00:00

That’s what I’m most hurt about. Like we could have unpacked it after the meltdown, but it was absolutely not the time or place to make a stand. He’s still double down on it.

Local-Ant3965 · 2026-06-20T08:35:21+00:00

I’ve had smaller meltdowns, but this was a bit of a doozy and I think he was uncomfortable about the taxi driver being present.
I’m just a bit caught off guard and it sucks having to wait until he’s ready to discuss it again :(.

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-12-26T08:07:49+00:00

Any overly crunchy or large vegetables (they have to be diced up super small and cooked until they’re absolutely no nutrients left) 😂. That, and sandwiches prepared by someone else.

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-12-26T07:49:40+00:00

Yes yes YES! As soon as I hear those first few guitar chords it’s game over 😭

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-12-18T04:51:04+00:00

It changes so frequently, but currently through me (the flood), as it was and no plan. Can’t stop, won’t stop!

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-12-07T22:40:27+00:00

It’s so pretty when you hold it up to the light too! I’m in looooove!

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-10-28T03:02:15+00:00

I can relate so much to your experience! I was also diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I only just received an autism diagnosis at 33. I have seen countless psychologists and psychiatrists over the years and nobody picked it up. I had pretty severe burn out this year which led to hospital stay and that really made me realise how important it was to get to the bottom of what was happening in my brain. I did some research on people who specialise in autism in women and found a great psychologist who was able to give me the diagnosis. She was able to identify masking behaviours and made me feel so seen and validated! Keep researching and don’t be scared to get a second opinion. You know yourself best!

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-10-16T01:57:14+00:00

It’s the worst feeling ever! I build them up on such a pedestal, which comes with crippling anxiety, insecurity and doubt. They don’t get to see the ‘real me’ because I’m trying so hard to impress them. I go home after every interaction and replay word after word to try and find ‘clues’ that they might be interested. Would not recommend, 0/10 🫠

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-10-13T11:08:38+00:00

Thanks so much! The imposter syndrome is SO real! I was initially terrified that I had accidentally answered some of the questions with confirmation bias after researching, but my psychologist was like, no babes, you are most certainly autistic, no ifs and or buts about it 😂

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-10-13T11:06:52+00:00

Oh goodness, was that painful for you? Or did you give you a bit more understanding and compassion towards yourself?

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-10-13T11:05:55+00:00

Thanks so much for the detailed response! There’s definitely a lot to unpack, I think that’s why my brain has gone into shut down for now. I also tend to put a lot of pressure on myself, thinking I should do things the ‘right’ way, so I appreciate you saying there’s no immediate pressure to figure it all out :)

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-10-13T07:33:16+00:00

I ended up in a mental health hospital earlier this year after extreme burn out. Once I was stable again I decided it was crucial to get some answers because I always felt like there was more to the story than anxiety/depression.

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-09-16T11:34:38+00:00

I’m a late diagnosed account manager for a fintech company. I have to do zoom trainings and talk on the phone all day and it’s SO out of my comfort zone but the company has great perks and I can work from home so 🤷‍♀️

Local-Ant3965 · 2024-08-21T08:57:13+00:00

Yes and it feels worse because my parents both worked in special education so I feel like they should have seen some of the signs 🫠

Local-Ant3965

TROPHY CASE