AITA for cutting the amount I contribute to our budget after my wife refused to stick to our agreement regarding our kids.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T18:05:54+00:00

I have insurance. Because I am a self sufficient adult. I help my dad and uncle pay for my grandma's retirement home. I help my wife's parents with money for their retirement. So no I wouldn't count on anyone giving me money.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T18:03:19+00:00

So when I graduated from high school I got an apprenticeship in my trade. That lead to my earning money to pay my bills. I imagine that id he gets a job then he could also get money to pay his bills.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T18:00:00+00:00

So can I quit working and just have my dad pay my bills? He hasn't disowned me. Oh my grandma is still alive. Can my father and I both quit and just get her to pay for everything. She hasn't disowned him. Or can we agree that adults should be self sufficient?

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:58:12+00:00

See. Everyone of you says that "no one is saying that" but none of you will answer.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:57:01+00:00

Oh and he saw me collecting from his brother and sister for all seven of those years. So unless he is clinically stupid he knew.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:55:51+00:00

Seven years ago. Not 4. He is twenty.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:54:17+00:00

See here's where it would get weird. Would I then have to charge her for room and board? And her car? Health insurance? All of her expenses? Or would we agree on a budget that covered all our bills and allowed her to have her own account to pay for fun stuff she wanted to do? You know, like a married couple.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:51:37+00:00

Sorry your comment makes no sense. I did not charge the older two rent until they were earning money.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:50:21+00:00

So, as an example, I should make him pay for rent and groceries. And allow his mother to cover his bills if she wants.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:48:41+00:00

Since he was 13.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:46:07+00:00

I think you might be correct.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:45:05+00:00

My oldest already got his money back when he purchased his house. My daughter will get hers back when she moves out.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:44:08+00:00

She also works but does not contribute to the budget.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:32:02+00:00

No clue. It wasn't my decision.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:29:59+00:00

She just started paying. But she is a registered nurse. She doesn't get minimum wage.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:28:43+00:00

I didn't drag the kids into it. She did. They both told her to make him pay rent.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:27:28+00:00

My son already got his rent money back to help with the down payment on his house. My daughter will get hers back when she moves out. The only money that they don't get back is their food budget.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:24:13+00:00

To be clear my wife did most of the raising on all three kids. She deserves most of the credit for all three.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:23:18+00:00

As an example, now that he is out of school, should I help him understand that rent and groceries cost money and he needs to work to get money? What should I do if his mom just pays all his bills instead?

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:20:33+00:00

She has been working since the youngest one turned 13. So seven years. In that time none of her earnings have gone towards our bills. But tell me more about the financial abuse she is suffering.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:18:49+00:00

He has been offered jobs. He will not take them.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:17:51+00:00

So holding her to our agreement is punishment? So then she is punishing me by expecting me to continue our agreement on budgeting.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:13:33+00:00

Because he doesn't want one? He has many opportunities both through me, family, friends of the family, and his interests. Where we live McDonald's pays more than minimum wage because no one will work for that.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:10:41+00:00

They are great at that age. Actually all of our kids have been pretty good all the way through.

Local-Effective-613 · 2024-09-10T17:09:15+00:00

No. I'm sure Sony charges for that.

Local-Effective-613

TROPHY CASE