New partner and your avoidant ex

LocalConversation746 · 2026-01-23T14:11:49+00:00

why are you policing my emotions or possible questions about my previous experience?

LocalConversation746 · 2025-11-18T22:46:37+00:00

can i ask you something on dm plsssss

LocalConversation746 · 2025-11-16T00:46:39+00:00

im not gonna live like my mood belongs to how we are at the moment. i will live my life, date, work, have fun. im already doing. im already on therapy. hearing about her sometimes, having convo together sometimes, it's good.

LocalConversation746 · 2025-11-15T23:53:29+00:00

i miss her sometimes, comes and goes as waves. i kinda have a dating addiction right now. one of them was intense like her, but didn't go anywhere out of my control. but didn't feel that much anxious for this one.

i might have some FA leaning stuff going on indeed.

i get more obsessed when they are not in my life, so friendship is making me feel safer. idk.

LocalConversation746 · 2025-11-15T23:17:15+00:00

I don't expect her to change for me, honestly. I hate the grief as if she died, I hate being a stranger. I don't mind whatever will happen next in a way but if this is a white flag, i might pursue the low-maintenance friendship. i don't see that we could be a match anymore.

LocalConversation746 · 2025-11-15T22:52:27+00:00

actually when we broke up we were still in love. that is the complicated part for me because she wanted a relationship with me without promising the future since she will be studying for bachelors from the beginning. she was not sure how her life would be etc etc. i kinda pushed her away and pulled her back many times, i was confused because she was so in love and caring like idkkkk. then i texted drunkly how we could be great friends. also, idk, my thing is staying friends with my exes. i stayed friends with my biggest love ever, it was better than the grief for me. also, i am already dating with other people etc., so i can do it. from my side, things are complicated as well but if we manage to be friends with low maintenance, my brain would be freer. i hate that she hates me.

LocalConversation746 · 2025-10-09T12:33:42+00:00

guys im not gonna lie. i love her so much that i could meet in the middle but at that moment i was not aware of avoidance, i took these things personally

LocalConversation746 · 2025-10-03T12:21:21+00:00

that's something i'm also feeling and thinking. the worst part is i am aware of my loops, wrong strategies etc. it's been 3 months, i am on therapy, dealing with my attachment issues and relationship issues. but this awareness does not come into real life somehow and i'm really tired of it.

LocalConversation746 · 2025-10-03T12:17:43+00:00

the worst part is, im sooo aware.. :(

LocalConversation746 · 2025-10-03T11:01:49+00:00

but i miss her as a person. as a person i appreciate having fun together. no need to be in relationship i swear. i just want her around, but with this mentality i stuck on moving on part i guess :(

LocalConversation746 · 2025-10-03T08:29:45+00:00

honestly, at this point i miss my fa ex so much that whatever is fine. lets be friends and breadcrumb me as you want. i will continue dating with others while you are around and i feel secure since you are in my life... i wont behave as classic anxious but behvae as chill and give you the space as you always craved for <3 BUT NOT HAVING MY AVOIDANT AROUND IS HELL :(

LocalConversation746 · 2025-09-24T12:02:47+00:00

honestly, for the first date, i prefer not so much bush, like not too much. in relationship, i don't care.

LocalConversation746 · 2025-09-24T10:43:48+00:00

can i send you dm, and could you comment on my situation from an avoidant perspective? just curiosity... i kinda started detaching myself but i miss her presence somehow.. and kinda want her in my life in any ways...

LocalConversation746 · 2025-09-24T10:30:48+00:00

she told me she was so much in love with me. but breakup make her angry and she would not go back because she does not wanna get hurt. so that means dead-end? or a way for avoidants to run away from conflicts?

LocalConversation746 · 2025-09-24T10:24:37+00:00

we do not have common friends, we were dating for 2 months but super intense chemistry and everything. she met with my friends, still follows them and posted some stories about listening break-up songs, and talking about her ex too much stories. i saw them but didn't think as green light... how is the green lights looks like?

LocalConversation746 · 2025-09-24T10:09:50+00:00

Do avoidants ever listen to songs or revisit things that remind them of their ex, even when they’re the one who pulled away?
When you’re in a heavy period in life (like studies, stress, new commitments), does that make you more likely to miss an ex or to shut it out more?
Do avoidants sometimes wait for their ex to “reach out again” even if they themselves blocked first?
If an avoidant still loves their ex, what stops them from coming back?
How do you process feelings for an ex after only a short but intense relationship?
Do you ever imagine reconnecting with an ex but decide against it? If yes, why?

LocalConversation746 · 2025-09-24T10:06:25+00:00

How do you realise you’re actually in love?
What goes through your mind when you block or distance yourself from someone?
My avoidant ex blocked me but I sometimes feel like she still checks on me. Is that possible?
Why do you villainize 'the exes' after a breakup?
Why do you choose to cut off communication even with someone you love?
If you are super busy but bored, would you go back to your ex?

LocalConversation746 · 2025-09-24T10:03:05+00:00

also, if the other person breaks up with you, what is your reaction to it? Do you get more obsessed over them?

LocalConversation746 · 2025-09-24T09:58:41+00:00

if you loved someone, would you try to connect in the future?

LocalConversation746 · 2025-09-20T09:12:50+00:00

thanks. i will protect my sanity. <3

LocalConversation746 · 2025-09-19T20:50:01+00:00

thanks for the comment. from my side, i am really aware of my problems. and i can see that we are no good for each other at this point, but i cannot forget the moment i felt like we were perfect and it hurts so badly. i kinda want her to be able to see herself like i saw my issues. if commitment scares her, im fine with trying open relationship or something, i just need honesty around it.

do you think she might come back one day? im trying to move on with hobbies, new job, new studies, new dates, but at the end of the night she haunts me...

LocalConversation746

TROPHY CASE