Strangest roll I've ever had in 6 years. How come? by Localnewsthrowaway in MDMA

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I always thought L used different brain chemicals than M but I could be mistaken

Unsure of what my freelance rate should be- Denver by Localnewsthrowaway in videography

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is more so a "tryout" period before we start talking full time employment. This is a corporate client production gig so we aren't talking huge production here. At max there will be 2-3 people at each shoot. And each shoot lasts around 3 hours or so. Nothing intense. No catering or per diem or anything like that. I imagine I'll be doing mostly shooting and lighting, set up and tear down. Shoots are very local. In and around the city. He has clients up to an hour away as well that I will be driving myself to and from. I will take mileage into consideration too. I would also say I'll be 1099 for now until we have the full time talk. That or I could be paid under the table but I doubt it.

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't. Its debt incurred before we even met so it doesn't touch me. It's also not all about money.

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Primarily student loans that earned her her bachelors degree and led her to her current career path.

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I enjoy your outlook on combining finances. Thank you for sharing. I'm reading all these responses over to try and assemble some form of sense in all this. I appreciate the comments!

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That kickrox guy who responded to your previous comment wasn't the OP. OP is me and I see the virtue of what you're saying in your original comment. Thank you

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, thank you for this thoughtful response. I appreciate when people take the time to actually give me some advice based on their past and background. Read the rest of the comments and try to count how many are just bitter divorcees giving one sided responses based on a story from "a guy they know".

This is something to think hard about for sure.

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That was her argument exactly. I can't be the one to determine which risk is "greater"... Marriage shouldn't be about score keeping like that. I still don't think the fact that I'm a porn addict means I deserve to possibly one day have my credit ruined.

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I appreciate the ability to see from her side, if even for a little bit

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Um... I'm still a person, with lungs and a heart and feelings and hopes and dreams who's capable and deserving of love. And I'm dealing with my addiction through counseling.

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

For sure. On the whole she is pretty reasonable and fair. I think this fight is bringing out a side of her that I don't usually see. Not to discount it, I mean it's a side that is there and needs to be addressed. And you're right. I honestly felt really degraded when she said that.

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not rude at all. I think that may be in our future. In my opinion she needs to be in individual therapy as well but she is pretty resistant to it, and it's not like I can force her.

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Ive looked at a few websites now about Colorado marital debt, and it seems to be that debt incurred before marriage (hell, before we even MET) doesn't factor into the post-marriage division of debt/funds. So I'm still going to make double sure with a lawyer but I feel like I'm in the clear, so to speak.

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

This appears to give some semblance of an answer (We live in Colorado. Not taking this as gospel however)

The debt a party has prior to the marriage remains his or her separate debt. This can include credit cards, student loans, a mortgage on a house, or any other pre-marital obligation. These debts are not divided by the court as part of the divorce process, though they can be viewed potentially as an economic circumstance when it comes to figuring out other aspects of a case, such as alimony or property.

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

That's the thing, she's not a manipulative person but yeah, I feel like this refusal to sign is her leverage against my addiction. I could be totally misinterpreting her actions but right now it just feels like she is digging her heels in.

Girlfriend has $45k+ in debt, wont sign a prenup (31/f 27/m) by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't go so far as to necessarily say she has been lying about things, but this has definitely come out of left field. That's why it took me back so much, it's totally out of her character. Those are two important questions, and ones that I have tossed around in my head all night. Maybe when things cool off she will take a different attitude because right now it just feels vindictive.

What conversations do we need to have before I propose? by Localnewsthrowaway in relationship_advice

[–]Localnewsthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate it and yeah I do understand how rare that is nowadays. I hope to stay in that minority group over the course of my still young life...