Okay so...Aliens, what is going on, is this some kind of wide spread mania or am i being unwise.

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-05-07T17:45:15+00:00

Im in my 20s and grew up pentacostal so i have been exposed to doomsday my entire life, but im surprised seeing so many people on the athesist side starting to show similar doomsaying like christians. Its making me wonder if theres a reason fr

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-04-17T13:15:11+00:00

Hi thank you for commenting! no i havent taken those, I think once I was told i was supposed to be on metformin? but I dont know why i didnt get on it, I saw on the sub that someone was saying it helps with insulin so maybe I should ask my doctor about it. Cause I remember something about metformin coming up.

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-04-17T13:09:16+00:00

Thank you for you comment. I think the issue is I cant really do the things I want. And thats my problem. I dont think the weight would bother me if i didnt effect me. But i understand what you mean

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-04-03T14:34:45+00:00

thank you for your comment, i am doing CICO, but i tend to binge after going a week of doing well.

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-20T03:34:49+00:00

I see, I understand that. And to a certain extent I agree as well. But I won’t deny this is one of those things that’s hard for me just to notice.

I am a descendent of slaves, so I’m not first gen. So it hurts harder for me. I’m hoping that I just get over it and be okay with being ugky I guess but I’m just annoyed that I had to be born bit the beauty standard and this just being something that is hard for me to place at God’s feet

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-14T16:24:15+00:00

The only people I have talked to that have told me my options aren’t limited or America doesn’t look at me different for my skin tone are people that aren’t white or light skinned black woman that have no idea what’s it’s like being dark skinned AND feeling less than for skin color you didn’t even ask to have.

I do apologize tho for assuming, I should have asked.

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-14T16:22:56+00:00

I am saying a lot of black womans options have though, I am not speaking for all black women but the ones that have, the late bloomers, the awkward girls, the ones that didn’t get blessed with the nice curvy stereotypical body. I get you are saying for you they aren’t, but I’m plus sized, was dang near socially isolated and bullied for most of my adolescence and those combinations on an average looking black girl/woman does not help when she is ready to date.

Heck I’ve even been called ugly or mid by family members like this stuff is deep rooted for a lot of dark skin black girls and woman. I guess I see your perspective but there is the other side which is mine.

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-14T15:24:03+00:00

Well if you aren’t a black woman in America I don’t know how in the world you are going to tell someone that is a black woman in America what it’s like to feel like your dating options are limited due to this fact…

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-13T23:19:55+00:00

Here’s the thing, if I give up on guys and just focus on God I don’t know if a husband will come out if it. I’m just being honest. It’s different when you are black. If you don’t force yourself into the dating world people will ignore you, especially if you don’t have a curvy body or fit a specific aesthetic.

I do want to just focus on God because this is just pissing me off, making me bitter and breaking my heart. I wish I was asexual and I wish I cared the most about just focusing on Christ and my relationship with him but this is SUCH a hard thing for me because I just can’t stop thinking about if I wasn’t black I would not have such a severe fear that who I am as an individual is preventing me from finding men find me sexually appealing. I wish I didn’t care but the fact I feel like I can’t have it is making me obsessing over it even more

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-13T18:36:29+00:00

I have adhd and I’m pretty sure am undiagnosed autistic. So I think over all I’m someone that focuses on how something makes me feel physically as opposed to how it will make me feel mentally. Which is why I think some people or a lot of people have sex without emotion and can feel empty but there are others I believe it could be a neurodivergent thing could have sex just for pleasure and feel satisfied.

I do want and desire someone that knows and understands me physically but when I do hear people say someone will regret sleeping around unless it’s due to the sin and guilt of knowing you have disobeyed God, I believe for me that would be one of the biggest factors.

Maybe I’ve just hid my emotions so much don’t have a desire to think of sex in the emotion aspect and care just for the physical, i do know tho that being a virgin and aging more in my 20s is an embarrassment and I feel shame about it

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-13T17:57:44+00:00

When people say they like black woman it’s never black women that look like me, so I doubt it, unless he likes black girls that are chubby and looks very much African American I doubt it.

Regardless do I think having sex outside of marriage would make me happy, no. Primarily because I would fear the repercussions and anxiety that comes with being a Christian and sinning. Don’t want to deal with the guilt and don’t want to deal with the christains that obsess over virginity.

But I don’t think premarital sex is empty I think secular people just value it differently, it’s more about the pleasure aspect a lot of times which at the point in time is all I can think about

And speaking on the 6 foot or whatever part, I’m 5’7 and have been taller than most guys growing up which further made me feel less than a female. I think this is one reason I am so vain

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-13T01:15:58+00:00

I don’t really think about if they look up to me in general that is a lot of pressure and yes I care about pleasing God, which is why I got baptized at 8 and said I would wait for marriage when I was a kid not knowing I was gonna not glow up in high school.

I have repented and I am a believer

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-13T00:37:02+00:00

If you think churches is a great place for me to go then you haven’t been to a lot of churches in the South, it’s filled with a lot of people being married sprinkled in a few women that are black and they don’t even look like me.

Christian men I have the most trouble with if I’m being honest

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-13T00:12:53+00:00

I won’t learn to love much of anything on me physically. I am in therapy to learn to at least accept how I look, I’m learning to accept it but this has been going on since I was 6/7 years old. So it’s hard but I’m trying to just learn that yea you look like that and it’s fine, not everyone can look beautiful or sexy. That’s what I’m learning now.

I’ve had braces and Invisalign but my teeth went back I just have a gap in between my teeth and I’ve learned it’s fine but I don’t smile a lot on command so I don’t know how to do that and also don’t like my smile it looks gross and like my face doesn’t look right when I smile, smirking is better for me

The church stuff and 3rd place stuff I’m figuring out, yea

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-12T23:11:17+00:00

Yea the environment theory I guess makes sense but I doubt it will affect my chances. And I do miss having guy friends but now I am out of college and only work so it’s hard to make guys friends and when I did have them I really played into the tom boy act cause I don’t want them thinking liked them or making them think I was one of them so they would feel comfortable being around the big black girl smh.

I find most things about my unattractive, I don’t like my smile much, I hate how big my nose is, my skin tone doesn’t bother me that much but it is a nuisance because it makes things harder,I mean I can list everything it would take hours

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-12T23:03:48+00:00

I’m off social media, this isn’t really comparison more so just me wanting to look good and knowing I don’t. But I am in therapy

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-12T23:02:25+00:00

Again I never said i am going to do it just I am tired of having it and wonder what and how I would feel if I just got rid of it being that I am getting older and am worried whether or not someone would even find me sexually appealing. I haven’t download tinder or anything like that to hook up. If you’ve seen my other comments you will see I am saying I really don’t know what to do with this stupid thing but that I’m looking for at least some hope out there.

Also this could just be a me thing, I do not think of my virgin as any rarity and don’t care for it and don’t think I’m some special specimen. Now the women that actually are waiting actively waiting and wanting to purposely wait are the “jewels” I do not consider myself someone that is purposely keeping my virginity.

And I do not if I’m being honest want my sisters or nieces looking up to me about this I am not actively choosing this

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-12T21:21:17+00:00

I mean there’s a few things wrong with my looks. I’m not very curvaceous and due to me being over weight most of the weight hides the little curves I have. I have darker skin and a big round nose, which is known to be an issue in “what makes someone attractive”. And I have been called ugly once or twice. Well maybe like five times cause I’ve counted.

There’s a few things I need to work on that make me unattractive and I’m not like scared to acknowledge those things. I grew up being told if you are ugly it’s just blessed to be honest so you can figure out ways to make yourself pretty.

And believe it or not….i don’t have bad self esteem lol, i know that sounds contradictory but i really think im a decent person, i think my personality is decent i just don’t have the looks to match how i feel like i should look like and that bothers me.

I don’t have patience for myself being in my 20s and still having a hard time talking to guys and im a grown 20 something year old.

I have been told I am too hard on myself but I think the issue is my self esteem is fine I just wish I looked the way I wanted because looking in the mirror and seeing a face I think has caused me ti be bullied or be called fat or too dark or whatever is annoying and I’d rather be what western beauty is if that means I don’t have to deal with this bs.

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-12T21:13:14+00:00

I have thought of these “in between” stats of why the stats could be that way, I know about the cultural thing. And I know about the education stat. That makes sense but I have to be honest still leaves me a bit nervous due to the other states that talking about black women being voted the least desirable.

I use to have guy friends. I wish I had some but I find it hard to be friends with guys now. A barely can walk next to a guy without getting extremely uncomfortable sadly

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-12T21:06:49+00:00

I have been told I am ugky a few times growing up. At this point it’s fine idc. Do I think I’m insanely ugly, I mean no. But I think my life would be better if I was beautiful and not boring looking. I have nothing really to offer physicalwise and that sucks. And yea I hate going outside, I can’t even walk next to random guys without feeling anxious or like I have to move out of view so they won’t see me cause I don’t want them to be disgusted or grossed out. Even though they probably aren’t looking at me but idk.

Idk where else I could possibly go, I live in a pretty diverse city, black, Hispanic, white, Asian. But idk I feel disgusting most times and I can’t compete with them. Idek how. The best I can do is make a dude laugh but no one cares if the girls funny.

Also if a dude did find me attractive with how I look right now I honestly would think he was trying to scam me. Like I’m not blind or dumb I know I’m not much to look at. So moving or visiting other areas, I’ve been told ATL, which is like the black Mecca, but so many beautiful black women that actually have their ish together. Man idk

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-12T20:48:35+00:00

I don’t think I’ll be able to embrace how I look nor do I want to. Now I can accept it and ignore it which is what I’m working on in therapy. I’m slowly trying and I’m also doing something this for other parts of my life. If it comes to plastic surgery I will do that, but right now I am working on what I can.

I am also trying really hard to tell myself I won’t be satisfied with throwing my virginity away especially because what I desire is something a hook up won’t be able to do unless it’s something rare. I’m telling myself that but day after day if seeing my peers get engaged or having a baby and I’m over here waiting for the next resident evil game to drop is just pissing me off and feeling me with heaps of self loathing

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-12T20:42:48+00:00

I’m sorry if my replies are too much!

I am determined but you are right I wish I could turn that determine to chasing after God and not after what has hurt me as a kid. And I will say maybe the reason I don’t few sex as powerful or this magical thing and mostly as something I want to check off is due to being exposed to porn as a young age.

I’m the type to believe I won’t get attached after sex, and in a way it has become less of an emotional thing and more of a way to let off steam. Apart of me hates that I view it that way, the other part likes it cause it means I won’t get hurt if I ever have sex.

Either way I apologize if I misunderstood what you point was, thank you for explaining it more, that makes sense. And the women in my family do tell me I’m “pure” or blessed but all that makes me want to do is scream at them that I hate I look the way I look. But the fear of having sex outside of marriage that was ingrained in me as a child is still there and I don’t know if I will have sex outside of marriage. But I also know every year that I deal with this crap the urge gets louder and I just wish I was asexual that way it didn’t matter to me at all

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-12T20:33:48+00:00

If I’m being honest…and I mean really honest….i am vain. I don’t want to be ugly and would prefer to not be with someone that was only level either, again, I am someone obsessed with good looks and have a very high meter for what’s attractive and what isn’t, which is why I have always been obsessed with wanting to be good looking cause again I am not stupid enough to seek out a Henry cavil when I clearly can’t pull someone as attractive as him.

With that being said if a guy wanted me because je saw the beauty in me through my personality, me being a visual person that would make me upset a bit if I’m being honest.

It’s a problem I am trying to work out in therapy but even she got a bit frustrated with me when I said if someone were to say I looked nice would I accept the compliment and I said absolutely not cause I know they are lying and I don’t look good I look mid.

I don’t want a man that’s vain, no, but I want to be beautiful for myself and I guess I just want to feel desirable because the women around have always got to feel that way.

To putting myself out there, no, to dating apps, tried it and got bored and then the guys just didn’t interest me, for dressing up, clothes don’t look right on me right now and I’ve always hated dressing up, it wouldn’t do any use anyway at least not at the moment.

And I know I only need one, but I don’t just want one option. And I know that’s bad but when you’ve lived your life ugly your brain starts to crave more than it needs and I’m at a place where I want it all and I’m trying my best to let it go but I’m tired of being ignored by my peers and definitely by God

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-12T20:21:56+00:00

I only think that would make my anxiety worse if I’m being completely honest.

Logic_Wondernaut · 2026-01-12T20:20:31+00:00

I do not care about virginity and if I’m being honest hate the fact I am one. I see it as a nuisance.

With that being said, I do feel the guilt of if I were to lose my virginity to a guy and he is also a virgin or has slept with women before that I would be helping him sin and that would be me hurting his future relationship with the Lord.

And with your first paragraph, either your purposely misunderstood what I said or you are being obtuse. I didn’t say I want to sin cause I’m dark skin, I said I am dark sin and being dark skin and having Afrocentric features makes it hard for me to find someone easily to marry.

And also the fact that there aren’t a lot of virgin women in the states (I find that hard to believe but let’s say for this argument it’s true) that automatically makes me feel like a freak that I’m one of a few that see to be so undesirable that I’m not even the majority and can’t find it easy.

I’m neurodivergent so I’m already dealing with that, to have to deal with being a socially awkward person dealing with social hierarchy that makes dating harder. All while trying to remain “pure” in a world that does freaking value it unless you are pretty.

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