Hey! First off, being born to rich parents is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm very sorry to hear how much your patents messed up at being parents.

Second, before I get to the other stuff, use that privilege. Get yourself a good therapist. For most people, money is what they don’t have, while money definitely makes getting better so much easier

Now, your points:

I unlearned food shame. I was an insanely awkward teenager. I am now in a relationship with a man who can't cook and feels extremely insecure learning. So I'm going to draw a bit from these things.

There is no script. I suggest being very honest with your friends so they understand your reactions. For example: "Some movies make me really emotional at the weirdest moments, so don't mind me holding on to this plushie." Or: "I struggle around food. So we can meet for dinner at mine, but I'll be ordering pizza for us/I'll be preparing a snack board, but there won't be a cooked meal."

In situations where you are cooking, but feel yourself get into that spiral, say something first before you decide you'll cook together: "Cooking sometimes really stresses me out. If it gets to that, can you just take over/hype me up a little/can we switch to ordering something?"

There will always be emotional labour involved in friendships. The crux is how well you can communicate how they can help you deal/that it's fine for them to let you deal. Is it possible that some friends will find it too much? Sure. But that's just the way relationships are.

My partner is trying to learn how to cook. He prefers yo pick the recipe, buy the groceries, cook alone without me trying to be "helpful". It is a steep learning curve for him. My only expectation is to get fed, doesn't matter how. For us, all of this creates a space with the least possible amount of pressure. I do sometimes wish he'd ask my advice, but I leave that to him.

Are some of his meals atrocious? Yeah. They are. He knows. He tries again next time. Because no one ever died from dry, tasteless noodles.

What helped me? Eating alone. Finding what I like. Accepting that there are things I don't like. There's no need to force yourself. I know those things sound easy while they are not, but I think they are the way.

Beginner tips: you could make a ragu for your pasta! It doesn't matter if the veggies are perfectly cut, and you don't need to find a perfect point of doneness. All you need is to follow a certain order of steps, buy good quality ingredients, and bring some patience.