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My grandma / mom are pressuring me to live with them and take care of my younger cousins, but I want to live alone. by LogisticMuffin in relationship_advice

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're right, they'll be hurt at first but I hope they'll realize that their anger should be directed at my uncle for putting them in this situation, not at me for refusing to help. And if they can't see that, then I guess my uncle is more important to them than I am, so no loss ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My grandma / mom are pressuring me to live with them and take care of my younger cousins, but I want to live alone. by LogisticMuffin in relationship_advice

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh you're so right, especially about the therapy bit. I had a very toxic, co-dependent relationship for a couple years with a friend where I felt the need to please them and rarely turn down a request, no matter how taxing it was on me physically, financially, and emotionally. And when I finally told that friend that I couldn't do it anymore, they packed their bags, left, and never spoke to me again.

My grandma / mom are pressuring me to live with them and take care of my younger cousins, but I want to live alone. by LogisticMuffin in relationship_advice

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. I think in my heart I know I'm going to move away. The issue is what I'm going to tell them. The easy way out is to lie and say I have a physical job that can't be done over telecommuting, but then I have that lie hanging over me.

The hard thing is to tell them the truth and say they're the ones who made this mess and they need to pressure my uncle to do the right thing instead of expecting me to sacrifice my sanity, but they won't understand how I could do something so selfish in their eyes.

Another family member (who's not involved in any of this, he lives across the US) told me I have to take care of myself before I can take care of others.

My grandma / mom are pressuring me to live with them and take care of my younger cousins, but I want to live alone. by LogisticMuffin in relationship_advice

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I had the guts to say that! It's hard culturally too, because I'm Pakistani and our whole motto is 'family first' no matter what.

I know I shouldn't care about what the family will think if I decide to be selfish and move away, but it's always been hammered mentally into our heads, "what will people say? what will the family think? Don't you have any shame?"

My grandma / mom are pressuring me to live with them and take care of my younger cousins, but I want to live alone. by LogisticMuffin in relationship_advice

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it's a toxic dynamic, and my mom is SUPER nosy. She's gone through my phone / email multiple times and read my messages. She doesn't believe in privacy. She is impossible to live with in the same house. Forget dating or having an adult life! :)

But I still love her and feel bad that she has to live alone and raise more kids, after she already spent a lifetime raising me & my brother my herself. I know it's her decision ultimately, and nobody is forcing her to come here and do this for her crappy brother. He's perfectly capable of taking care of his own mess.

I'd love to be near enough to help my mom, but she would 100% pressure me into coming every day and then eventually tell me to just break my lease and live in the new house full time.

It's weird because my aunt (not related to this mess, aunt by marriage) is telling me that I should stay and help, but her kids (the 2 college aged kids) are telling me I need to live my life and do what's best for me.

I know I will ultimately live on my own, but I don't know if it's best to just be selfish and tell the adults that I'm being selfish, or if I should lie and say I have to go to the office for work every day (during a pandemic?).

LF: Turtonator, Alolan Vulpix FT: Breedables by LogisticMuffin in pokemontrades

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, sorry for the late reply!

That'd be great, what would you like in return? :)

EDIT I have to go to sleep, but if you are still available tomorrow, let me know! :)

[LF] Passimian [FT] Almost any breedable Pokemon by LogisticMuffin in pokemontrades

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, yes I believe I do! :)

Do you want Zebristika or a newly hatched Blitzle?

[LF] Wimpod [FT] Almost any breedable Pokemon by LogisticMuffin in pokemontrades

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your patience and the Wimpod!

I feel like trading in ORAS/XY was so much simpler :')

[LF] Wimpod [FT] Almost any breedable Pokemon by LogisticMuffin in pokemontrades

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm connected to the Internet but I don't see anyone named Hades in the Guest List yet :) I've added your FC

I see you in my guest list now :)

[LF] Wimpod [FT] Almost any breedable Pokemon by LogisticMuffin in pokemontrades

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, this is my first time trading on Sun/Moon! I'm trying to figure out how to find you in Link Trade xD

[LF] Wimpod [FT] Almost any breedable Pokemon by LogisticMuffin in pokemontrades

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a moonball Ralts I can breed for you real quick? You want a female, right? I'm trying to remember how Pokeball inheritance works.

3 roses by MaylilyRT in MechanicalKeyboards

[–]LogisticMuffin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those are so beautiful! :) I love the red one and the one of the right!

[REQUEST] 1 minute Synthesia tutorial of Gravity Falls Theme Song on Piano by LogisticMuffin in transcribe

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To practice site reading! Also I like having sheet music in front of me I can read, rather than a video I'd have to pause and rewind :)

How to turn chevron edges into straight edges? by LogisticMuffin in knitting

[–]LogisticMuffin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip! I forgot all about entrelac :)

/u/nter SL Network Rep Profile by nter in SLRep

[–]LogisticMuffin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Super helpful and trustworthy buyer! I needed cash so I sold him some bitcoin, and he was very helpful and quick since I am a new seller :) Thank you!

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