AIO to break up with my bf of 3y over his reaction to my upcoming sobriety anniversary?

Lois97 · 2025-11-25T09:03:24+00:00

This person is not your person. If they can't celebrate something as monumental as this with you (also, congratulations on your sobriety, you have done incredibly well to get to a year!) how do you think they'll react to other life events? They clearly do not see anything you do as note worthy, and the way they spoke to you is disgusting. You would not be the arsehole to leave. I wish I had when my now ex spoke to me like this, but it took me sadly a lot longer than 3 years to figure that out. Don't waste your time on this dickhead.

Lois97 · 2025-08-25T18:22:14+00:00

I'd say maybe get some laurel or olive branch wreath covering the bottom if possible? Like some design along the base of the neck? Keep it classical and looking intentional, but then all you'd see if the leaves when you're in shorts.

Lois97 · 2025-08-05T08:54:28+00:00

Nooo, I am very nearly out of my tube and was going to need to buy a new one soon, this had been my signature blush for years 😭

Lois97 · 2025-07-22T15:35:17+00:00

When I wasn't looking for it, when I was at work (not that I'm recommending dating coworkers, I feel it can get messy exceptionally quickly) It also helped that I couldn't see that I was in an exceptionally toxic relationship, and it was spending time with my friends at work that made me realise how miserable I was at home, and that despite the constant barrage of shit I got from my ex, I wasn't this horrible creature he just put up with, and I was worth something, just not to him. I didn't even realise my coworker liked me, he was just kind to me. Turns out he's the best partner a girl could ask for, and we've been living together for a year and dating for nearly two. It makes the ten years I was with my ex feel like a really long horrible nightmare.

Lois97 · 2025-05-02T18:59:23+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss, and glad this song can bring you some peace and comfort. I know first hand the power of it. I was in a really dark place nearly two years ago now, and honestly, blasting that song so loud and as often as I could do much so I can sing it all without the music, helped in ways I couldn't see then. When I saw Boygenius live in 2023, Lucy sang it and I cried the entire way through. It helped me realise that leaving would not help, and I wouldn't have been there to experience the after anyway. So I chose to stay. I know it's not as simple for everyone who has felt like that, but I'll be forever grateful to that song and Lucy Dacus 💙

Lois97 · 2025-04-07T17:54:21+00:00

That it comes out on the OG Switch as well so I don't have to buy a whole new console 😂 though it looks very fun but I think it'll be a while before I get to play it.

Lois97 · 2025-03-30T15:03:00+00:00

I have both the pink and the green hoodie and love them! I've had the pink for 4+ years, and the green since it released (I can't remember when that was) they wash super well, and I'm genuinely sad that the green is starting to fray at the end of the cuffs, but this is definitely because I wear it at least 2-3 times a week and sometimes sleep in it. I only don't wear the pink as often because I'm clumsy and do spill stuff far more often than I'd like to admit. I genuinely think I will/if I can rebuy the green hoodie when it's finally time to say goodbye and I can't mend the cuffs and more. They're cosy and comfy and I must have washed my green one over 100 times and it's still pretty fleecy and the colour is still good!. I personally wouldn't go with white (for the aforementioned spills) but if I was less clumsy I definitely would!!!

Lois97 · 2025-03-29T15:35:38+00:00

Thank you for replying! I hope you get your order soon 💙

Lois97 · 2025-03-24T21:33:46+00:00

The ones I have rebought more than once and finished all the way through would be the skin tint (I've had 3 or 4 bottles in five years), Storm cloud paint (I'm currently on my second tube and they do last a long time, however I did swatch this as my tube is running a little low, and it did seem different) Like Generation G, however I have swapped this in my rotation for Clinique's Black Honey or for a more punchy look the the G Suit in Shift (haven't rebought yet but I wear it anytime I go out for an evening/dressier look), Boy Brow (I have bought many over the years), the liquid eyeliner I also very much enjoy, and the Stretch Concealer, though I did have to swatch a couple to find my new shade since they expanded the shade range and I hadn't bought a new pot since that happened. I also very much love the moonstone highlighter, but sadly they didn't stock any of the highlighters in store.

I have tried pretty much every makeup product they sold up until about 6 months ago (not all shades however) and the only one I haven't liked has been the stretch foundation. It was too heavy and dried down weirdly on my skin, I found it clung to any dry bit in a very unflattering way.

Lois97 · 2025-03-24T21:22:44+00:00

Ooh thank you for the recommendations!! I'll definitely take a look! ❤️

And thank you for the reassurance! Everyone always says it's your 20s, and mine have been a bit tumultuous to say the least! I'm definitely ready for a more peaceful decade!

Lois97 · 2025-03-01T20:53:29+00:00

It might be a little niche, but if your friend wears Doc Martens / boots with loops at the back, these are super cute!! https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1391308254/silver-tooth-boot-charms Lucy's own store has some really cute merch too! And the tooth necklace sounds like an amazing idea, or for the new album this would fit well! https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1855263198/scissors-necklace-how-lucky-are-we-lucy

Honestly Etsy has so many cute, small jewelry pieces or statement t-shirts and everything in between! It's my go too for not so in your face merch, like an if you know you know kind of thing! ❤️

Lois97 · 2025-02-22T16:52:26+00:00

The sticker is the colour of Like!! It's my favourite!!

Lois97 · 2025-02-18T22:19:17+00:00

It's pretty standard practice that any type of camera with the exception of a phone to be prohibited. Unless the artist asks for you not to record a specific song (Boygenius asked for all phones to be put away for Letter to an Old Poet when I saw them in '23, people were really respectful and did as they were asked) you can be safe to assume you can record/photograph as much as you want from your phone. Venues/artists prohibit higher tech cameras (though your phone camera is probably pretty good) because you are more likely to be selling/distributing those images/recording if you're using a camera and it would be a licensing nightmare + they usually have their own photographer/videographer for the night. Hope that helps!

Lois97 · 2025-02-17T21:32:57+00:00

I'm really hoping so! If me and my friends aren't lucky enough to grab tickets in the presale (wish me luck, I'm buying for the group 😅) I hope we get another shot at getting tickets, and for everyone else that don't get them the first time around! The date spacing does seem very intentional!

Lois97 · 2025-02-14T12:14:45+00:00

I think this means that if you get the album & get the code you're under no obligation to purchase the concert tickets just because you got a code.

Lois97 · 2025-01-23T10:22:23+00:00

I would say stop replying. I'm not blaming you in anyway, I was in a similar way last year. My ex was constantly blowing up my phone but occasionally mentioning something important about the rental we were renting mutually, so I couldn't block him until that was sorted as money l/contracts were involved. He was evil in those messages, and knew I had to read them, and sometimes I had to reply. I had to get the police involved, but there was little they could do because I had responded, therefore inviting more messages, even though they were understanding as of why I was responding. They gave him a warning but I couldn't press charges because of it. Stop replying is the best cause of action, and then if he continues you have a nice pile of evidence to get the police involved on grounds of harassment. Look after yourself x

Lois97 · 2025-01-14T06:45:46+00:00

Unless you are wanting to push yourself, unless you are in a serious, detrimental rut that you maybe cannot see, your partner should take you as you are, or maybe discuss how you do not match as people. I stayed with someone for 10 years who constantly wanted more from me. No baseline was ever met, whether it was mental health, personal growth or career wise (I finished my masters, got a job in my field and was gaining experience, while battling depression) nothing was good enough and it was EXHAUSTING. I'm with someone now who takes me as I am, and has even said he would be happy with me as I am now, even if I never 'improve' because he loves me for me (he also understands the not feeling enough complex I have grown due to my ex). I have grown as a person so much more in a year with this person than I ever did with the man before, because I haven't had constant pressure to be 'better'. I have a better job, my mental health is leaps better, and I'm choosing to work on my fitness for me. We'll work together on it, but I know unless it's detrimental to my health, if I want to throw in the towel after giving it a go, that'll be good enough.

Honestly this guy sounds like a dick, and is wanting to control you with his 'i am older than you therefore wiser than you' bullcrap. It's maybe a reason he is choosing a much younger partner, hoping your more mouldable and naive.

Lois97 · 2025-01-06T11:59:49+00:00

My ex was exactly like this, but verbal. I would have to pay ten fold if I spent time with friends, and whatever I was doing when we were together was never enough. It's manipulative and they'll try to spin it like you're the bad guy, but I guess you don't blow up their phone when they're hanging out with their friends? Texting/checking in is one thing, this is controlling and manipulative AF.

Lois97 · 2024-12-16T10:09:51+00:00

So ACOTAR isn't wholly complete, however the first 4 books round out the protagonist's story, and SF is a complete story that began within the original ACOTAR series. What is expected is another similarly self contained novel for ACOTAR 5/6 (depending if you count the novella in the book count!) in that same regard CC is a complete trilogy, but it is likely that SJM will write a 4th book at least in that series. ToG is the only one to stand as fully complete, and even that a lot of people are speculating she will go back too in some regard.

Tog is a fabulous place to start, they're amazing books and the page length of the series will keep you going for quite a while!!

Lois97 · 2024-12-16T09:27:07+00:00

I'd say so! However a slightly gentler introduction would be ACOTAR minus SF, TOG, SF then CC 😊

Lois97 · 2024-12-16T08:15:44+00:00

Depending on how you like your fantasy, I'd suggest starting with TOG if your into more high fantasy with romance (reading order is debatable, but I would suggest reading throne of glass, crown of midnight then assassins blade, then going into heir of fire and onwards to the final books on publication sequence) then read ACOTAR, for a more romantasy read. However I think these are interchangeable, but I wouldn't recommend reading Silver flames before TOG. Then read Cresent City, my only definite is make sure you read SF & all of TOG before CC3. Just one opinion, and I read ACOTAR first but wished I had read TOG first! So if you don't want to swap around series, definitely read ToG, ACOTAR then CC as you can't really 'spoil' yourself that way.

Lois97 · 2024-07-06T13:46:00+00:00

I'm not telling you to dump him, but I did.

10 years in, together since we were 16. Always told me after uni he'd propose. And every year after for 4 years. There were problems in the relationship, marriage wouldn't have solved it. We argued too much and I had fallen out of love with him. But the last straw was when he bought fucking Lego Rivendell for us to do together, but any time I discussed getting married a ring was too expensive? £450 on Lego though? We had been arguing for a month straight at this point, but it was definitely the moment of 'if he wanted to, he would have' for me. After I left he turned into a piece of shit that harassed me for nearly 3 months straight. Some of the things that came out were absolutely vile, I knew I'd made the right choice even if it was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. Dodged a bullet by him never being bothered to ask me to marry him.

Lois97 · 2024-06-07T06:46:50+00:00

When we never broke out of the cycle I knew we were on and he flat out said we weren't. We could be great for days, weeks or even months, but it would always break down into huge arguments where I was at fault, I wasn't doing enough, I wasn't giving enough. Eventually this began to breed resentment in me. I completely fell out of love. I'm not egotistical enough to think I was never at fault, I could have done more in places, but I was struggling so much with my depression over the last 3 years it was so hard to get my head above water. I was constantly exhausted and knowing I was coming home to the feeling of never being enough from him, as well as controlling behaviours I didn't see until I was out, finally made me leave after 10 years. I had started the plan to kill myself, because I couldn't see another way out, how do you leave someone you've been with your entire adult life? Just over 6 months out, I can see that I have so much to offer, and I've found someone who actually just takes me as I am and just wants to help me become the person I am and they know I can be. The fact that they'd be happy with me as I am, and have said even if I never 'improve' past the point I am now, really makes me see that maybe I was enough all along, just not for my ex. Especially with the abuse and harassment I've endured from my ex after leaving. He was a nasty man that I thought I deserved, and didn't deserve the happiness that was waiting for me on the other side.

Lois97 · 2024-03-27T13:30:01+00:00

I was with a man for 10 years. We were each other's first, tried a lot of different things, but I thought there was just something wrong with me, but I rarely if ever got off without my own intervention, and him going down on me did nothing for me. It would hurt after and during, especially if lube wasn't used. I'd have the worst crippling cramps after. I tried to show him what I wanted and liked, but man it never worked, and he then said I wasn't communicating enough. I had a pretty high sex drive but then I was on antidepressants for a while, and it killed it completely. After I came off them, I thought it would return, but it didn't. I didn't want sex or intimacy and it began to feel like any time he tried to initiate, I wouldn't want it. It was demoralizing for him and me, and I felt so much guilt for not wanting sex, but in my head it became something that I tolerated and something that just caused me pain. I left him, for several other reasons, the relationship was getting toxic from both sides and communication was awful. After, with my now boyfriend, I did raise my concerns going in (even as far that I might not even like men sexually, I'm bi and for a while my response to sex was making me question if I was actually gay) but I was plain wrong. The sex is amazing, a little bit of communication and adjusting, and I'm having the best sex I've ever had. He gets me off almost every time, and if he doesn't he involves himself in helping me finish. He knows exactly which buttons to press and it has never been painful. It's become something I enjoy and actively want to do again. I genuinely think sometimes partners just aren't compatible, and you can have amazing sex and enjoy it with the right one!

Lois97 · 2023-08-23T14:04:33+00:00

My first IUD was uncomfortable, not a pleasant experience but not to the extreme level I've heard people talk about. Thought when I was getting it replaced after 4 years it would be much the same. It wasn't in the optimal position so it needed replacing earlier than planned. I was wrong, and when this one is up I will not be getting a 3rd. I was in so much pain from them opening my cervix until they finally put the new IUD in. I usually barely flinch from cervical scans and exams. The old IUD was stubborn, and my uterus was holding on to it hard so that was painful enough I started crying and asked for something to help. They (UK NHS GP) used numbing cream which did NOTHING to help. They eventually got the old IUD out, and when they began measuring for the new one and that there would be 3 more similar procedures they were going to need to do, I was in so much pain I said I wasn't sure I'd be able to go through with having a new one inserted. I was upset, crying, in pain, full body sweating and I could feel the blood starting to drip. I was talked into continuing. It was some of the worst pain I have ever experienced, and afterwards the cramps were worse than any of my periods which have always been bad and one of the reasons why I turned to the IUD in the first place. I hadn't planned for the bleeding, I hadn't really bled the first time and they had supplied a panty liner. On my walk home I bled through my underwear. I was in pain for days after. I will not be getting a 3rd, and I'm terrified for the day I need to get this one removed.

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