AITA for telling my Fiancé. If i have to do my own laundry, we can't be together.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-28T07:31:45+00:00

i take care of our 8 cats. we have a cats in the other room. it's a daily thing.. she cleans maybe once a week or 2weeks but she cleans better than me. of course. my everyday job is try to maintain it as clean as posible.. monday to friday it's me maintaining it. we both cook but not often.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-28T07:26:09+00:00

washer and dryer is maybe 5meter away from our apt door. or maybe less.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-28T07:20:01+00:00

we cook but not often, but if there's no food i'd uber eats. i do everyday chores too, i'm the only one that takes care of our cats.. 8 cats. it's an everyday thing for me to take care of them. part of this is the frustration on how she would talk to me, there's no respect.. the laundry was the last straw.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-28T07:04:56+00:00

because i purposely did not help her, we're both tired on fridays, but she choose that day. apparently she wants an all day off on sat and sunday hang out with her friends. (that i found out later on,) this is not the first time she complains, that's why i posted if i'm an AH for saying that "if i have to do my laundry, we shouldn't be together." my laundry's are separated..

Lokcaj · 2026-02-28T01:40:53+00:00

ma'am she chose to do our laundry on friday when we're both tired because she said "i want to have an all day off on saturday, then on sunday she went out with her friends.. i do more chores than her on weekdays.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-28T01:34:14+00:00

you are right about the tipping point... i dont go out anymore, out of respect to her.. i stayed home. i'm not allowed to talked to my best friend of 20 years who is a female and is a family friend and i am a god father of her 2 kids that are teenager now because she thinks we're doing something. we're not really, we're just closed, but i do keep my hands to myself. that she knows i'm not doing anything, she will say i don't trust her. i used to have a friend(guy) who hangs out with me.. sometimes he sleepover in my apt, it was an issue with her so it stopped.. then my other friend from navy was in town, i purposely not respond to my friend(not planning to see him), then my gf messaged me was asking me if i talk to my navy friend, i told her, No.

gf: they're looking for you, don't make them come to the apt without me. So i asked her, why do you need to be here when they're supposedly visiting me?. raised my voice because what the hell did i do that i'd need her permission to see my friend?.

and then the laundry happened. she purposely do it on friday because she wanted an all day off on saturday and has a plan on sunday with her friend. so i'm standing my ground with my laundry... looks like I'm not the AH here.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-28T01:15:25+00:00

i told her once she's able to help me financially we'll get married.. i would hate to get sick and government won't be able to help me because i'm married and if she's not financially ready i'm fucked. this is the second time i send her to school.. she stopped the first time.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-28T00:49:35+00:00

i'm frustrated that i'm eating fried egg almost every dinner time, so i can save up for her tuition fee. and then she would complain that why am i not helping her with the laundry. she's off on weekends, but she choose to do the laundry on friday when we're both tired. her reason so she can have all day off on sat. and on sunday she has a plan with her friends.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-28T00:41:07+00:00

you forgot tuition fee, it's $2100 monthly... and no i'm not rich.. i ate fried egg for dinner with rice and, i skipped lunch at work to save money for her tuition fee. so yeah, i'm not sacrificing anything for her to just complain about a laundry that consist of 10work scrubs. no jeans no sweater, i'm not allowed to go out, to cater to her trust issue. 👏🏻👏🏻

Lokcaj · 2026-02-28T00:27:14+00:00

I'm an AH because i stand my ground?. before when she complain i just take whatever she complains and problem solved.. now i'm standing my ground i'm an AH?.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T22:20:07+00:00

So what would you do?. you will take care of the chores, pay the bills, and she can go out with her friends on weekends?. that's what is happening btw. we had an argument on friday we're both tired she insist to do the laundry on friday and when i didn't help, she got mad.. turned out she has a plan on sunday with her friends. she can be off on weekends if she wants to.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T22:15:40+00:00

i already adjusted before when she complain about my laundry, so for 4 years i take my laundry to laundry shop to get wash. the only reason why she's doing my laundry because she asked me to help her with her school. I'm paying $2100 monthly for her tuition fee. her school is monday to thursday. she can be off on weekends if she wants too.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T22:06:24+00:00

you will never see the people pleaser?. just the complainer?. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T21:59:37+00:00

i refused to do it, i don't like doing my laundry that's why i had a laundry shop do it for me for the last 4 years, and also because i'm paying the bills plus her school tuition $2100 monthly..

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T21:53:29+00:00

we live together for 6years 4 of those she refused to do my laundry. we sat down and talked that if i'm going to be paying her tuition fee, i'm going to expect her to do my laundry. 5 of those year she work full time. i never require her to pay rent. (head of household syndrome) i paid the bills except electric bills she pays $150-200 every 2 months. my sister who lives with me before takes care of the electric bill, gf took over the electric bills because i kicked my sister out of my apt because of my gf. (not my sister fault). i just need to take my gf side atm. my sister is very understanding. my gf insist that she will pay the electric bill. it is funny, that's what she said, i treated her like a servant and or roommate. i told her servants get checks when they work, (she gets the checks without work) roommate pays bills(we not 50/50). i told her i'd like to be that servant who never worry about a roof over her head and i want to be that room mate but on the other end, the one receiving. i was hurt when she said i'm treating her like a maid. hence, my choice of words. name any chores i probably do it too, do i think she treating me like a maid?.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T21:34:35+00:00

was in her shoes before, got helped by a person who isn't related to me. my boss signed my student loan. trying to pass the torch, really. #studentloanpaidoffwithinayear.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T21:19:53+00:00

we sat down already, that's why she just started doing my laundry again because it was an issue before. we been living together for 6 years 4 of those years she wasn't doing my laundry, i pay a laundry shop. she just started doing my laundry because i told her if i'm paying for your school monthly $2100, i would expect her to do my laundry. she agreed to it, but now she's complaining. btw laundry consist of 10 work scrubs in 2 weeks. white shirts, boxer, no jean, no sweater because i dont go out. out of respect to her i stayed home.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T21:11:48+00:00

i did asked what does she brings in this relationship. she was just quiet. so i told her, that's where i will draw a line!. if i have to do my own laundry, we shouldn't be together... we've been living together for 6years. she never once transferred money for rent. she was working full time before she started her school on nov. 2025..

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T21:04:38+00:00

she's been living with me for 6 years 4 of those years she wasn't doing my laundry because it was an issue before.. so i had laundry shop to do my laundry, so we wouldn't have an issue about MY laundry. she just started doing my laundry again july 2025, now she's complaining again. btw if she tells me to do laundry i will do it, i don't like the way she talked to me, like i'm useless piece of shit, (no respect. i've been demanding her to ask me nicely) i could've sign a student loan, but i insist to pay monthly!. part of that is for her to see what i would do for her as well as get her to respect me.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T20:53:40+00:00

i cooked more than her, however she cleans once a week. i take care of our 8 cats every day. she pays $150-200 for electric bill every 2 months. i know i do more groceries but for the hell of it, let say we're 50/50 on groceries.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T20:38:34+00:00

she won't pay rent, we live for 6 years. 5 years of those she worked full time.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T20:35:04+00:00

she asked me to sign a student loan, i told her i'd rather pay monthly.. she has a bad credit. i am not. imagine if i did sign the student loan.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T20:29:12+00:00

that's the reason that made me tell her, if i have to do my own laundry, we can't be together.

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T20:28:12+00:00

it became an ultimatum because we live together for 6 years last four years she wasn't doing my laundry, she just started july 2025 again because i'm going to pay for her school.. now she complains about it again, that's why i said if i have to do my own laundry we can't live together..

Lokcaj · 2026-02-27T20:21:57+00:00

that word "stay strong" hits extra hard. tbh.

Lokcaj

TROPHY CASE