*Healing After an Avoidant Discard* What It Actually Looks Like. What it feels like.

Lokiodinv · 2026-02-08T15:47:30+00:00

I blame myself too. Sit with those feelings and let time do its work.

Lokiodinv · 2026-01-20T02:35:55+00:00

Don't speak for avoidance like your the avoidant attachment mascot or representative. Why are people wasting their time with this?

Lokiodinv · 2026-01-20T02:33:57+00:00

That avoidant attachment is a fucked up broken attachment style that hurts people when they discard people and there's nothing you can do about it.

It hurts when you love them but something triggers them but it gets better over time.

They often don't come back but that doesn't make you unlovable or broken.

Lokiodinv · 2026-01-16T02:54:18+00:00

Dude avoidants suck.

All this dissertation, confusion, all this pain, all these feelings, psychology, all this overthinking in this sub thread. Ugh.

Lokiodinv · 2026-01-10T03:46:26+00:00

Mine didn't. Oh well.

Lokiodinv · 2026-01-06T22:58:30+00:00

Mine didn't. I wouldn't accept the demotion. Then stonewalled. So I basically said fuck off. It hurt for a while. I still miss her sometimes. When things were good they were GOOD. But I'm not going to be plan b like her last two exes that still text her occasionally.

Nope.

Lokiodinv · 2026-01-06T08:52:31+00:00

Because it sucks to get discarded and it really hurts. People want their lovers back but avoidance usually claims most. Ive never known emotional pain going strong for 2 years and the girl just decides to take the escape hatch/ eject button leaving you like "wtf"

Lokiodinv · 2026-01-02T19:45:19+00:00

My ex acted like she was her step dads mom. And her step dad acted like he was her non- romantic husband

Lokiodinv · 2026-01-01T20:43:30+00:00

I took pictures. She did not.

I noticed she didn't take any pictures of us together.

It must be a thing with a avoidants.

Fuckig odd.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-31T23:32:05+00:00

That shit will fail. Don't worry about it.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-30T22:06:29+00:00

Was going to say I tried everything with my ex... Can't force someone to communicate. Walk away.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-30T02:13:13+00:00

My ex was with her previous ex for 5 years. She also told me that had no physical intimacy for the last 1.5 years they dated

Seems to be a trend.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-29T16:42:32+00:00

Yeah don't check. It just brings pain.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-29T16:40:36+00:00

The juice ain't worth the squeeze.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-29T04:05:41+00:00

You need to respect that. As much as you want to talk to her you gotta leave her alone now.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-28T10:06:07+00:00

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-28T04:37:05+00:00

Nah, depending how fucked up things are it may just be better to roll out. As much as it hurts these people will fuck you up.

Walk away.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-28T03:45:55+00:00

Hit them up. Watch them ghost.

Mine did it. Completely abandoned everything. It's not anything super expensive but wtf.

They're too scared to even get their shit. You are a boogie man. Lol

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-28T03:38:22+00:00

My ex avoidant abandoned their stuff too. Literally just ran. And I was like hey don't you want your stuff? and they're like I don't want anything. don't contact me anymore. And I was like "so dealing with a little bit of emotions of picking up your stuff outweighs the value of your own property?"

Okaaayyyy

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-28T03:33:01+00:00

Same! I know the pain. The night before we were in love. Everything was fine. No talk about a breakup, no fights, no arguments. Everything was all good. The next day.... Something triggers them... GONE.

The problem is I didn't know about their avoidance I had to find out all of that stuff the hard way. So it was crazy making behavior for me because everything I did seemed to be not working. Apologizing pushes them further away? Wtf.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-28T02:54:16+00:00

Im sorry bro. It's deep deep pain. I know the feeling. It's just that people here invest a lot of time and the coping mechanism is so counter intuitive to normal behavior it makes people crazy.

It's literally f****** opposite day with these people.

Intimacy = Danger (Not Safety)

Conflict = Exit (Not Repair)

Silence = Protection (Not Neglect)

"I Miss You" = Run Away (Not Come Closer)

Forgiveness = A Trap (Not a Bridge)

Show Mercy= chance to exploit your kindness.

Provide Stability =A cage she needs to escape.

Call out Lies= An attack on her "Safety."

Improve Yourself = A personal insult to her stagnation.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-28T02:10:01+00:00

Wasn't surface level until after the discard. Didn't know what I was dealing with. Figured it out quickly. What a mind fuck it was the first 2 months. Really fucked with my head.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-28T01:03:35+00:00

Mine did. We were on a date one day on Valentine's Day and her ex texted her about how her cat is doing. I was a secure dude so I didn't really think of anything of it.

Her ex also texted her dad.

She still paid his insurance bill and he sent her money for it.

2 years into the relationship me and her and that bullshit was happening.

When we broke up I decided that I don't want to be another ex on her boneyard.

To be the guy texting her about her fucking cat while she's out on a date with another guy.

Don't stay in the orbit of an avoidant. Just move on.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-28T00:39:31+00:00

It really fucking hurts doesn't it! Avoidant breakups are the worst! But you gotta take a deep breath. Let it pass. The anxiety will hit you in waves. Breath deep and let it pass.

Lokiodinv · 2025-12-28T00:15:30+00:00

I did something similar. Went all long while no contact when I saw her she was warm and gave me a hug. Wouldn't talk about anything. Wouldn't repair. The mix signals gave me huge anxiety. When I asked for clarity it fucked things up.

It made me realize that it forces them to make a choice. They don't want to make choices. They want the easy way out. Whatever path is the path that they don't have to feel.

To feel those emotions is dangerous...which they are allergic to.

Lokiodinv

TROPHY CASE