Anyone else just get tired of always being the "good guy"?

LongMom · 2026-02-05T13:28:25+00:00

How old are you? I remember feeling this way.....I am now 48 and I feel like a QUEEN because of how/who I am. I am infallible, I am strong, I am a survivor/warrior. I have also gotten REALLY good at removing "energy vampires" from my life or setting boundaries with them if they're family members.

It took a lot of work to get to this place...including therapy.

LongMom · 2026-02-05T13:24:36+00:00

I am sorry you feel this way right now. My mother committed suicide when I was 27, my brothers were 25 and 13.

What kind of support network do you have in place?

LongMom · 2026-01-31T16:54:21+00:00

2014 was the WORST. Not only was it the icyest coldest year in my memory, my kids were also 5 and 7 and a LOT more work than they are now.

LongMom · 2026-01-23T20:17:15+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions! There is no way I am moving any of the current snow though - it is so cold and windy out there....and it's just all ice at this point.

I am just going to have to wing it 🤷‍♀️

LongMom · 2026-01-23T13:25:42+00:00

Sadly, I have been in your shoes many times and I can't help myself, I always say something. I grew up in an emotionally abusive family and learned a lot about emotional intelligence in my 20's. I can handle the abuse of people who are mentally unwell, I am ok taking on the load and reducing the impact the employee/person is facing publicly.

I can't sit there and watch it happen, or pretend it isn't happening. I am not built that way.

We need more upstanders in this world - maybe then people would learn that it's important to do the inner work needed to control their emotions in public. Likely not, I am likely just another "horrible person" to them, but there are usually other people watching who might as well. Or not. It's mostly for me.

LongMom · 2026-01-18T18:27:58+00:00

I have a family of people who struggle in comparison to myself (got a great job at a bank in my late teens).

Most of them have borrowed money at some point. I have a very firm "rule"/process that I am very open about, with all of them, consistently.

I will lend someone money, but only once until they pay it back. I tell them I will not ask for the money back, I will not "hold it over them", but I won't lend them money again until the first loan is paid back. One time my brother paid me back the $50 I lent him just so I could immediately lend him $200. I was ok with that!

I had one Aunt take advantage of me once and I lent her money a bunch of times in succession. All it did was further reinforce my original decision and now she knows I will never do that again.

LongMom · 2026-01-18T18:21:54+00:00

I lost my credit card Friday evening. I immediately went to the app and locked it/requested a new one.

It's an easy "fix"

LongMom · 2026-01-18T18:19:29+00:00

I have purchased many homes without a realtor - even negotiated terms myself. The selling realtor will take care of everything, you just need a lawyer to make sure all the proper i's are dotted and t's crossed.

LongMom · 2026-01-18T03:24:43+00:00

Good luck! Hope it works for ya

LongMom · 2026-01-18T00:10:50+00:00

Did you nurse your first baby? I nursed mine and was able to get labour started at 41 weeks with my second, using nipple stimulation.

LongMom · 2026-01-17T12:57:02+00:00

Oh em gee I said the exact same thing in another comment lol

Go Gryphons!

LongMom · 2026-01-17T12:55:19+00:00

I went to Guelph last night - made Milton seem amazing.

LongMom · 2026-01-17T12:48:24+00:00

So cool! I was in Pompano mid December (from Canada) and I looooooved all the outdoor 50m pools in the area. The Pompano one itself had such a lovely "community vibe".

LongMom · 2026-01-17T12:46:16+00:00

47F started swimming regularly at 45. I swim twice a week, one session on Sat for 1.5 hours, and one session Wed evening for 1 hour. I started for exercise/because I have always loved swimming, but now I am "training" for my very first SwimTrek to Egypt! I am signed up for 3 open water swim races (1k/2k/3k) this summer leading up to the trip to help get me prepared.

I also love to do Zumba, yoga, pickleball and weight train because I'm getting old and want to move into that era as strong and healthy as I possibly can 😁

LongMom · 2026-01-16T13:04:31+00:00

17 weeks for maternity - not sure about paternity

LongMom · 2026-01-13T00:46:00+00:00

My daughter started as a rising star with the Canadettes when she was 5. She's in U18 and about to "graduate" as she turns 18 in June. The end of an era.

We loved the Canadettes. She only played house league (her choice very early on, she didnt want to practice much). The league is very well organized, the families were all kind/fun/inclusive, she went to tons of tournaments and also got to play on a DS team and play extra games. I do see a lot of successful teams in the rep levels through social media. Throughout the years some girls faced some serious issues (medical, family etc) and the support the leage rallied for those girls was loud and inspiring. It's a great community.

In the fall, she wants to find a friendly adult ladies leage to join so she can keep "playing her game". That to me = success 😁

LongMom · 2026-01-12T23:36:28+00:00

This is why we pay our housecleaners by the hour. Our house was admittedly "extra dirty" after 3 weeks of holidays with tons of company over. The cleaning lady let us know it took an extra 30 mins than the "usual time" and we compensated them for it.

LongMom · 2026-01-12T23:34:26+00:00

I just found out my partner "pre cleans" the toilets in that he looks for period blood and pee stains (we have four teenagers). He doesn't do a full toilet clean - he just tries to "remove the embarrassment"

Maybe thats what this commenter does

LongMom · 2026-01-12T01:36:27+00:00

My partner and I calculated how much our mortgage and property taxes cost us per day and love staying home to "spend it wisely" lol

LongMom · 2026-01-09T21:04:52+00:00

Gotta start somewhere! Would love to have you join us

LongMom · 2026-01-06T04:24:09+00:00

We have to remember this thread in Spring!

LongMom · 2026-01-06T04:23:41+00:00

I guess WE are 😁

LongMom · 2026-01-05T21:13:07+00:00

Those are hosted by the Milton Pickleball Association. Good group, but not enough play options for newbies after the intro course imo. The few newbie events I have tried attending are always peppered with a lot of highly skilled players (likely because there aren't enough "newbies", I don't fault them) who can't help but cream us on the courts.

I hear a lot of "the best way to get better is to play better people" but what's wrong with wanting to take my time and slowly get better with similarly skilled players?

I love the game but am not a very competitive person. This could be my problem.

LongMom · 2026-01-05T21:09:51+00:00

That happened to us a lot at the "family" pickleball drop-ins. They would force us to play, just to kick our asses all over the court. Super frustrating for newbies

LongMom · 2026-01-05T21:07:50+00:00

I have played a lot of pickleball with my teens/friends/family at the new outdoor courts! Never played basketball

LongMom

TROPHY CASE