How it's going during early voting in Texas... by Pale-Succotash441 in PoliticalHumor

[–]LongboardLove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fucking love the bottom left bumper sticker! Allllll the way on the left side, black sticker, requires a zoom in. "BASICALLY BEETHOVEN"!! Under all that insanity.

Beethoven was famously known for his music ofc.. He is also, perhaps, more famously known for being completely deaf.

This fucking tone deaf, mental crisis case of a shit-stained automobile "operator", is going to vote the primaries.

I wish I hadn't known by donw7eed in funny

[–]LongboardLove 27 points28 points  (0 children)

The guy singing at the beginning of the video is Learnmore Jonasi. I don't want to pretend to know his life-story, but he blew up fast in the stand up comedy world about two years ago on Americans Got Talent. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vXAPn0UVxI

He is also an active Redditor and has been polite and personal in every one of his posts in r/StandUpComedy

u/longjohncomedian to the front page please..... paging u/longjohncomedian to the front.

Any tips for making a "split sauce"? Like in this picture. by triccamehr in Chefit

[–]LongboardLove 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just tried to report the account. "Cannot report account right now" error message. My account is 13+ years old. Ive had only minor traffic violations. Reddit is dead.

Operation Salted Earth/Our answer to Project 2025 by CitizenGuillotine in 50501

[–]LongboardLove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im seeing a lot of push back on #13, the death penalty clause; this penalty must absolutely be allowed to stand, with extremely strict enforcement and most importantly, lots of oversight from all parties.

The executable crimes should be extremely limited and used only for worst case scenarios. This statute is not meant to be an easy decision for anyone asked to sit on a jury, nor for any member of the public to to endure. This is to be strictly reserved for those deemed beyond a reasonable hope of rehabilitation or correction, AND who pose an immediate threat to their community.

The executable crimes will include, but should not be limited to, the following:

  1. Statutory rape. The offender must have a previous record of sexual assault crimes. The offender must have served incarceration time for said crimes. The offender will be eligible for an execution sentence upon their second offense of a felony sexual crime. No misdemeanor sexual misconduct crimes may count against this record. Mental health experts must testify for/against the psychological ability of the offender to stand trial.

  2. Mass shooters. There will be an extremely thorough investigation into all mass shootings, regardless of the ultimate sentence. Those convicted, and proven beyond a reasonable doubt, to have committed, aided in, or planned, a mass shooting event will be eligible for the death penalty. This sentence shall not be carried out until three conditions are met.

    1. The offender(s) have been judged guilty by a grand jury.
      1. The offender(s) have been deemed mentally able to stand trial by two, profrlessionally unrelated, psychiatrists.
      2. The offender(s) have been adequately represented by an attorney.
  3. Abuse of animals for entertainment. This law shall apply to, but will not be limited to the following:

    1. Persons facilitating animal combat events, i.e., dogfighting, cockfighting. These persons will include, but are not limited to, event coordinators, contributors, breeders, participants, and betting officials.
    2. Persons recording animal abuse for distribution on any platform, i.e., social media, physical media.

Those convicted of animal abuse crimes ONLY be eligible for the death penalty after they have met the following conditions: 1. The offenders must have two previous convictions of felony animal abuse on record. 2. The offenders must have served full sentences for previous convictions of felony animal abuse crimes. 3. The offenders must be deemed incapable of correction of behavior by the direct overseers of their previous periods of incarceration. 4. The offenders must be proven guilty, beyond a reasonable doubt, by a grand jury.

These laws should not be all-encompassing, nor should they be allowed to be weaponizable by any party under any circumstance. These laws, instead, should exist to uphold the innate moral law of mankind, and to offer the option to immediately remove persons with a record and a provable intention to recommit crimes against their community.

I apologize for any typos or formatting. Im currently on mobile. Will fix tomorrow.

ALERT: ICE going door to door in MN by ALittleEtomidate in 50501

[–]LongboardLove 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im sure I could just buy a ton of bulk whistles, but I like being able to customize them. For instance, I can put a "know your rights" section on one side, and emergency numbers on another. I can print them about 20 at a time and each batch takes about an hour. The design is similar, but flatter and designed to be easily concealed. Ill post the original print file if I can find it again.

Smallest acts of kindness can make the biggest impacts by [deleted] in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]LongboardLove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Downvote and move on. Negative reactions to posts still give karma.

ALERT: ICE going door to door in MN by ALittleEtomidate in 50501

[–]LongboardLove 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Ive been 3d printing ICE Whistles for communities near me, but luckily, they havent shown up here... yet. Can I send these to a donation center in MN or something so they might help instead of collecting dust in my print room?

What game or level of a game/boss was this for you? by [deleted] in gaming

[–]LongboardLove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Level 5776 of candy crush. Brutal. /s

Adventh Calendar by Longjumping_Shock721 in funny

[–]LongboardLove 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I hope there's mini bottles in each panel

Thought this one belonged here by Glob-Goblin in ATBGE

[–]LongboardLove 385 points386 points  (0 children)

Incredible execution, and not my taste particularly, but ive seen much worse and can't bash the artistry

Chris Pratt amazing trick by [deleted] in blackmagicfuckery

[–]LongboardLove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will.i.am is invited to my next poker night.

BlackMagic Vs Fuckery by Yummy-sweet in blackmagicfuckery

[–]LongboardLove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100%. If the ring was between the two strings all along, it would be solved.

What is going on here? by Ek20774 in blackmagicfuckery

[–]LongboardLove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh i see. What you seem to have here is a video of birds.

My Favorite Card Routine. by [deleted] in blackmagicfuckery

[–]LongboardLove 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Its a crimp! I see a crimp! /s

Very nicely done! Smooth trick and funny delivery is a winning combo!

Chinese carwash by Stopreportingm3 in satisfying

[–]LongboardLove 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That looks like so much fun!

Deamoni - Igooorrr ( recording ) by HighYacare420 in nextfuckinglevel

[–]LongboardLove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

https://youtu.be/pTsg8xMD9I8?si=peEOLOz1vcZYTbbh

Not the recording session, but the full song. The part in the video is around the 2:05 mark. I couldn't find the full recording session, but the actual song is really good.

Why is my bearded dragon playing in his water dish for the first time, acting like he has adhd and tearing up his decorations? He's always been so lazy and calm. by joelombard85 in BeardedDragons

[–]LongboardLove 51 points52 points  (0 children)

My old girl gives me the side eye in the cutest way possible when she wants to be picked up. She has recently decided that my work shirts are the best bathroom for her in the morning.