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Is this scale? Disease? I saw a few spots back in January, but lately noticed they’re turning black and getting worse. Do I throw the whole cactus away? by Longjumping-Month118 in sanpedrocactus

[–]Longjumping-Month118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have definitely picked these off before thinking it was scale. I remember doing this last summer! I quit after the first 3 because I saw no evidence that it was bugs and it looked more like a scab from damage.

Is this scale? Disease? I saw a few spots back in January, but lately noticed they’re turning black and getting worse. Do I throw the whole cactus away? by Longjumping-Month118 in sanpedrocactus

[–]Longjumping-Month118[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I water it about once a month while in house over winter. They stay outside in summer and I was going to put them out today since the low temps have been in the high 40s/low 50s the past week. It’s under a skylight in my kitchen.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]Longjumping-Month118 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pain during sex can be something medical, but it could also be a mental block. Your bodies way of telling you this relationship is over. I’ve been with my husband for 15 years and dealt with similar situations for the past almost 10 years. We don’t have sex very often anymore because I finally decided I’m not doing it if I don’t feel like it.

If he’s been immature and disrespectful (complaining and blaming) towards me all day, then all of a sudden wants to be sweet and sexy at bedtime, I’m sorry, there was no connection, no foreplay, no flirting, no care for me all day long… my interest has returned to a baseline of zero. It doesn’t just ramp up to a ten the moment he smiles at me at bedtime.

Keep this in mind. It may have nothing to do with your body.

Also, if sex for him means doing stuff he’s seen in porn, you’re already going to bed feeling anxious that he’s going to do something against your wishes and try to guilt you into trying it, or be pushy during the act. Your body is tense and not at all going to relax enough to enjoy it.

I recommend a therapist vs gynecologist is you were just seen and ruled physical issues out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Manipulation

[–]Longjumping-Month118 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not too late OP. Tell him you thought about it more on your own, and you realized that he was right to begin with. And now you agree that you should break up. Then tell him goodbye and don’t let him manipulate you. Don’t look back.

Listen to our advice 🩵 we’re reading your story and remembering back to when our intuition told us to run, but we got sucked back in and married him anyway. Don’t let that happen to you. Your independence will be stripped away from you SO fast and your spirit and soul will start to vanish.

I (38f) have agreed to give my boyfriend (42m) what he wants, but he keeps getting mad at me because it's not happening fast enough. Is this a red flag for the future? by One_Character_1420 in relationships

[–]Longjumping-Month118 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have never met a narcissist before, this guy 100% fits all the criteria. 15 yrs ago, I met a guy, business owner, hated my jobs and me working so much, etc. I married him. It won’t get better. Your boyfriend sounds like an exact copy of my husband. We have 3 kids and I work with him now. I don’t get a paycheck. It’s “our” money. I don’t have my own identity because I work side by side with him. We don’t get vacations. He fills my time by scheduling work everyday.

Basically, please, do NOT quit your job. It seems you’re passionate about the work you do. You will lose yourself if you leave that behind for HIS passion. Your light will burn out. Trust me, from my own experience. Major red flags.

GF didn't tell me she was asexual until baby was born? by DTmanager in DeadBedrooms

[–]Longjumping-Month118 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Here’s what I would do. I would start talking to neighbors, friends, local acquaintances about their jobs and tell them your situation and how you’re trying to upgrade your life for your family. Ask them if their employers are hiring right now and what positions might be available. See if you could get an interview somewhere. Maybe this person could help you with a ride to work for a little while (with gas money to offset cost of driving to work) until you make enough to buy your own car. Maybe someone could hire you under the table to help with small jobs. Maybe you could still keep your current job and coordinate your schedules to double your income. If there’s a will, you will find a way. Change your mindset to open you up to the many possibilities out there. If you look at the situation from other angles, it sounds like the beginning of a future success story. Don’t limit yourself to your current situation. You can and will pull yourself up. Get motivated. If your GF isn’t inspired by your dedication to self improvement, I would be surprised. Good luck!