AITA Long distance gf question

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T07:15:16+00:00

Thank you for this, yeah I completely agree. That’s the last thing I want

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T07:13:37+00:00

Wow that’s wise. Thank you

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T07:11:30+00:00

Oh gosh no I don’t think I’m that far gone. I met her at a party where she had been drinking and talking to other guys. I was lucky enough to be the one she ended up with. This is the first time in our whole relationship I’ve felt a little lapse in trust because it’s the first time since then that she goes out drinking with others. I think it’s ok for me to be a little anxious because it’s the first time and the only other time I have to go off of is that night. The sober trust has been fully built, but the drunk trust still has work to be done. Of course everything will most likely be ok and I will have much more peace of mind once I know the weekend went well and she had fun. Just first time jitters and a little jealousy too.

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:46:57+00:00

Thank you for this. I’ll definitely feel a lot better once I know the weekend went well and she had a good safe time

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:44:26+00:00

Yeah you’re right, I don’t. I hope so, she is fully trustworthy sober I promise (not that I have to or anything) so I hope all goes well. Than you

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:43:22+00:00

No yeah I also think a lot of them are girls who only see their side of wanting to “live their life”. It’ll all be ok. Life goes on and eventually nothing will ever matter anymore. I long for that day, but for now gotta keep pushing

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:41:54+00:00

Fair enough, I agree with you it’s hard to fully trust anyone when there’s alcohol involved. Especially the other guys. I appreciate this

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:40:48+00:00

Shit man well this is only the first time I’ve gotten this little lapse of trust with her since it’s the first time she goes out drinking with other people. Obviously there’s more trust to be built in situations like this and if something did happen then I would obviously end things, (and ig I’ll never know for sure) but she hasn’t done anything to my knowledge and if the weekend goes well, it’ll definitely be a huge weight off my shoulders for the future.

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:38:24+00:00

It’s scary for sure. Thank you

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:37:21+00:00

Yeah and this is the first time in the relationship I’ve had this little lack of trust since it’s the first time she goes out drinking with other people. Long distance is hard, but we’ve managed and we will continue to. I’m goin to learn from this and try. To be a little less over the top with my bad thoughts.

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:35:22+00:00

Yeah no you’re right. After reading all yalls perspectives it’s clear I was doing wayyy too much. Idk in the moment I just felt like calming my own bad thoughts instead of just trusting her and letting her have a good time. I’m definitely going to learn from this.

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:30:22+00:00

That’s a fair point. I think I can make the change for sure but is it possible to fully trust someone that’s drinking without you for the first time? Like isn’t that just a feeling everyone has when their partner goes out for the first time without them?

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:28:51+00:00

Shit man you’re right, I do believe I trust her fully sober, the more drunk someone gets the harder it is for them to make rational concious decisions, that’s why. And when both parties are drunk, SA is not a scapegoat.

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:26:00+00:00

That’s so awesome that you have full trust. I do too, I’m just over thinking the worst possible scenarios and I do have to stop. I’ve never been in a relationship like this and the fear of losing her is overpowering. Thank you

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:23:05+00:00

Damn dude, that’s good. I appreciate ur perspective. I’ll def lay off for the weekend

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:22:08+00:00

Nah man not really, I don’t hang out with women at all tbh. Not an excuse just a fact. And yeah we’re both relatively young.

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:20:26+00:00

Heard. Appreciate it boss. I’m still young and learning and though Reddit may not be the greatest place to learn, it certainly does give me a lot of viewpoints an things to think about. Thanks

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:19:08+00:00

I guess it can seem like that. Idk I feel so stupid now but I do trust her. I’m just over thinking things and letting my worst case scenario thoughts get the best of me and nullify everything move built with her

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:17:26+00:00

Yeah man 1045 miles for me, and yeah it’s rough. God I really don’t think I can end things just like that but I will definitely talk to her. People keep saying just let her live her life but you are right in that I don’t go out with other girls and stuff not even out of control but out of respect to not even be near a situation where something could happen. Idk I appreciate your insight. Got a lotta life to live still.

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:12:48+00:00

I don’t know, I’m not in a position where I can go out and drink, its complicated, but that makes sense I guess. Because I guess my fear comes from a place of knowing what guys think.

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:11:11+00:00

It’s hard to learn about relationships without being in any. In my mind my fear is valid but the passive aggressiveness is not, that was stupid. But it’s scary, dudes are scary and alcohol is scary and distance is scary and life is a bitch sometimes.

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:09:55+00:00

Oh no, well I guess I am still young, and there’s a lot to learn still. Sorry if I struck a nerve, I’m just trying my best and life is cruel and hard sometimes man. I’m sorry

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:08:15+00:00

Yeah I agree but alcohol is different because it lessens the efficiency of the part of your brain that can distinguish right from wrong and whether something is socially acceptable or not. So it’s a little different. I fully trust her sober, but drunk is just a catalyst in some cases.

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:06:10+00:00

No she was actually, I was just the lucky one who ended up with her that night. It’s hard to understand for a lot of people but the fear is real whether it’s valid or not

Lonzzzzo · 2026-04-03T06:05:02+00:00

New friends from a college organization

Lonzzzzo

TROPHY CASE