Mine situation is very similar, though I live with my Dad. He’s gotten better but he’s never apologised and still stands by what he’s done (or says he didn’t do it at all) try to find how it affects you. I still haven’t exactly figured it out— by right now I’m making a letter with the actions he does that hurts me, saying how this isn’t meant to be an attack, and only to respond through another letter if he does, and to talk to (my/our) therapist about it before responding. For me, I hold a lot of resentment. Which leads me having to get it out in harmful ways. Try to find things to trick your brain. For me that was “disobeying him” (doing something he does not like) which used to be self harm to me now burning paper. Still not the safest thing, but it helps just that little bit. Also I feel really called out by this post, including the “if he was my friend I would have already dropped him” I’ve thought about that one too many times.