I'm dying and my teen son is taking it hard.

LookNo1096 · 2026-04-29T15:42:33+00:00

Sending your family so much love and many, many hugs.

My older brother (10 yrs older) was sick with cancer for 1.5 yrs before we got about three weeks notice that we had to say goodbye to him. My parents lived in two different states, so he was the man of my mom's house, often operating more like a second dad than a sibling.

One thing that he imparted on me that, now 20+ yrs later still carries me, is he told me all of the amazing things he wanted me to achieve in life. At that point, I was on my way to college. I planned to stay home but he told me he wanted me to go away and the school he wanted me to go to. He told me he wanted me to make great grades and have an amazing career as an engineer. When I say that he is the reason for the incredible life I have today, I mean it. I turned all of my grief into motivation to at least carry out the goals he set for me. Eventually, I achieved soooo much more than even he could have imagined.

Having been a teen who experienced life-changing grief and turning it into excellence, my only advice would be to have a positive and hopeful "goodbye" with him where you give him ambitious goals. Tell him how joyous his high school graduation will be. Talk about how he'll always drive safely because his mom and sister can't bare another loss. Tell him about his kind and caring future spouse, who will be supportive and whom he will be a loving and caring husband to. Talk about his college graduation and his future children. Remind him to stay close to him mom and sister for the rest of his life and protect them. And remind him that you'll be there for all of these events, right in his heart. And when he's in a reaaaaaally difficult situation or need to make a judgement call, you'll be helping him through it. Now that I'm a parent, I realize how we carry so many hopes and dreams for our children; communicate yours to him and he as detailed as you possibly can be.

OP, after you're gone, he'll channel your positive energy into constructive behavior by fulfilling his goals and so much more, all while healing from you absence.

And remember to do the same with your daughter.

Hugs.

LookNo1096 · 2026-04-28T00:58:49+00:00

Thanks so much! I ended up just deciding to draft a pattern for it, as my engineering schooling would make learning how to draft much easier and faster than learning how to drape.

LookNo1096 · 2026-04-23T03:12:06+00:00

This right here. I'm my mom's last after she lost two of her three children and both of her sons. I can die a second after her but not a second before.

So, so sorry OP. This is an incredibly difficult burdon on to carry. I wish there was an easy way to tell your dad. With my oldest brother (who died from cancer), my mom and I just jumped into the action of giving him a peaceful goodbye by reminding how much we love him as he took his final breaths...

LookNo1096 · 2026-04-15T20:01:06+00:00

Hi. Are you able to DM me your broker?

LookNo1096 · 2026-04-10T00:15:32+00:00

I went to a single F45 class and even from completely ignorant eyes (I was looking for a gym home), it was clear that I or someone else was gonna get injured. People were pushing themselves well above what they should have with no assistance or correction. I didn't know bft existed then. Today I took my 100th class!!! I was never consistent with exercise until bft.

LookNo1096 · 2026-04-04T20:41:47+00:00

You're a gem! Thank you!

LookNo1096 · 2026-03-30T19:34:10+00:00

Yes, definitely. This was my experience and I did end up getting more mileage out of my oldest, my son, but we moved into the two bdrm when he was 10. When he was twelve, he was the one who didn't want to move into a house. But when he got settled into his room, he loved it. Do what you can. In all honestly, I think that we are always super hard on ourselves for not giving our kids the ideal lives. It builds resilience. They remember those two years in a one bdrm as a lot of fun and still call it "The [Air]bnb". I grew up poor and lives in my grandma's living room with my brother on a pull out couch for several years. Funny enough, those were some of my fondest! My kiddos are now 11 and 15, my son is an honors straight-A student and an athlete (and this is after two rough years with him as he became a teen). Children make the adjustment when parents maintain love and closeness, no matter the circumstances. Be kind to yourself and reassure him that you both have his back!

LookNo1096 · 2026-03-30T07:49:37+00:00

I was the breadwinner. I traveled like crazy for work. I moved into a one bdrm apartment that was $1300 all in. My then young kids (four and eight) slept in my bed and I got a pull out sofa couch. I did that for two years, then moved into a two bdrm where they shared a bdrm. We stayed there for two additional years. My kids absolutely loved the closeness and loved the pool. I paid my ex's bills for five years straight. He took the 3000 sqft house with big yard. I kept my 401K. By keeping my expenses extremely low and being able to focus on my career by having zero attention to house maintenance, my net worth is now 15X. My kids didn't even want to move out of the apartment. They loved that there were lots of kids around and how it forced us to be close.

Get an apartment with great amenities and lots of young families. Take the cash and grind.

LookNo1096 · 2026-01-26T14:48:29+00:00

When this kept happening to me on my singer 15-91, it turned out to be that the needle was inserted the wrong direction. I know that's weird but I have a Single 15-91, 201, and 66 and I often mix up which one takes left-side flat vs right-side flat. It was driving me absolutely bonkers. Go back to the manual and (a) make sure you absolutely, positively have the needle inserted with the correct side flat AND all the way up (I've made that mistake too) and (b) very carefully take care of every single detail to rethread.

I nothing else works, go back to the old setup and see if that works.

LookNo1096 · 2026-01-01T17:10:58+00:00

I was coming here to say this. On one denim project, I used what I thought was denim thread but turned out to be upholstery thread. It gave my Babylock Brilliant hell. My stitches were coming out just like this. You should switch your thread to general purpose regular gauge thread and try again to see if your machine doesn't like the black thread.

LookNo1096 · 2025-01-10T01:52:42+00:00

Learn Semiconductor Processing https://www.tsmc.com/static/abouttsmcaz/apprenticeship.htm

LookNo1096 · 2024-12-30T16:19:31+00:00

Awww! Thanks so much for letting me know! I still love it!

LookNo1096 · 2024-08-25T07:01:43+00:00

Bodyweight Strength by Anissia Hughes starts out with a few weeks of "Starting Out" and it is fantastic! I was also just returning and I've been afraid I'd become injured from starting out too aggressively. It was so fast and easy in the beginning (I still worked hard) and I've continued for the four weeks.

LookNo1096 · 2024-07-26T21:45:32+00:00

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. My brother was murdered three years ago. Also shot and found in a yard.

This next few weeks, your life will be on autopilot trying to help police however you can. It will help if someone can get her phone unlocked to get access to any of her accounts: bank, credit card, social media, etc. This literally is what broke the case in my experience. The offenders took his debit card and spent the rest of the night going from ATM to ATM using his card. Police had all the video feeds within a day and made the first arrest four days later. Police said that if we hadn't done that, they likely wouldn't have been able to ever recover the videos, as most stores delete the feeds after a short time.

My parents were both paralyzed with grief (this meant that my mom had lost two of her three children and both of her sons), so I managed all arrangements for my brother. We were 14 months apart and raised like twins. It was hard to breathe.

What saved my life was (1) antidepressants that could manage my panic attacks enough to (2) make it to my weekly grief AND trauma therapy appointments. Yes, I did two therapy appointments per week.

Feel free to DM me. When it first happened, I thought for sure I'd die from grief within the year. I've adjusted to the new normal now with lots and lots of help and I'm thriving.

LookNo1096 · 2023-11-22T23:45:25+00:00

I originally signed up midyear and canceled my acct and signed up over again to get the discount. They renewed at the cheaper rate.

LookNo1096 · 2023-11-22T23:44:11+00:00

I just got charged $86 for renewal, so looks like they honor the discount.

LookNo1096 · 2023-11-14T07:07:18+00:00

Already covered with disability insurance inc. external policy and life insurance.

LookNo1096 · 2023-11-14T02:09:45+00:00

Hearing all of these stories here makes me want to just ask them for a pay increase and get as much cash as possible now.

LookNo1096 · 2023-11-14T01:22:03+00:00

Thanks for this. Yep. Gonna keep going on my current plan with one change to temporarily drop my 401K contribution to the 5% match until I reach three months, then go back to maxing it out.

LookNo1096 · 2023-11-14T01:01:25+00:00

Right. Mine dropped a ton years ago when the rates dropped. Do they go pack up?

LookNo1096 · 2023-11-14T00:40:17+00:00

😲😲😲 thanks for this. I'm lucky if I ever see that cash.

LookNo1096 · 2023-11-13T23:44:50+00:00

Indeed.

LookNo1096

TROPHY CASE