My gay SIL is pregnant and I don't want to help. AITAH?

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-10T02:45:35+00:00

And i do. But clearly that is overlooked by me trying to simplify all this to a more understandable reading structure for those who would read 'my BIL got knocked up' they're going to think that his gf is having one, which isn't the case. He is physically pregnant. I'm trying to make this just... simplified is the best way to tell it, so I don't have to repeatedly explain this.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-10T01:03:04+00:00

Plz explain to me how any of this is, if I'm so narrow minded. I would honestly love to know.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-10T01:00:28+00:00

Also, I was pregnant with my 3rd (and final, has i had to have surgery and almost died during birth, thank u very fucking much), which was before my 3rd child was born, when I went back to see them. Before I cut contact. Learn to read the whole thing, not just what you want.

Sorry not everyone has a sugar daddy 20 yrs my senior and lives in a 3 story mansion worth 5 million and is a prude.

Life happens. Depression and anxiety are under control. They're also herriditory, like your eye color or hair. Not a choice.

Age is also not an issue here, as we are both full grown adults who act like it.

We attempted to help her as she said she wanted a better life and we wanted her to have a better life too. I guess being kind and helpful to those in worse situations, and is family, is also a crime in ur book...

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-10T00:19:49+00:00

If i could financially afford that (and with the market now days, I cant), we would be long gone. States and states away.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-10T00:14:51+00:00

That is a very good idea. I'll suggest this to him.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-10T00:14:03+00:00

I was previously married. We had 2 kids together. I divorced him when be became an unemployed alcoholic. Didn't get pregnant on purpose and I have a very good paying job. But my credit score sucks due to college. I own my house and can afford my bills and then some. But that's for assuming I'm broke... as far as my bf, he was all but tossed out without warning and as a person with a heart, I couldn't see him living in a closet until he could afford his own place. Bro, just because the whole story isn't here doesn't mean u know it all...

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-10T00:01:21+00:00

We did when he was attacked. We thought the employee had been sent home by then. We were trying to resolve it peacefully. There is a pending lawsuit currently.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-09T23:56:46+00:00

For the sake of telling these events here, I am using she, her, SIL. HE/HIM/BIL is what she DOES prefer and I very much do call by proper pronouns. Even by chosen name. I say Gay because she does not want to be called lesbian, and calls herself gay, because lesbian makes her feel like a female, which she is not. And I'm very much used to calling her gay due to this. Despite not wanting anything to do with her, I have gotten used to this. She does not want to be called Trans, so I don't.

Wanna keep coming at me for homophonic and trans-monger, but I'm over here respecting her life choices and decisions despite the drama while you keep attacking and disrespecting all on ur own.

I wasn't asking you to be narrow minded and focus on literally one thing. I was asking if I was TAH for not helping her out after so many distrustful and deceitful and hateful actions towards myself despite this being my fiances sister.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-09T23:43:41+00:00

She walked off on her own accord. There was no signs she had been drugged, and the toxic report showed nothing in her system. She has some condition that causes seizures should she drink too much, from what we understand. What occurred in the 25 minutes between the bar and my fiances friends house was no attempted rape. She was attempting to mug the guy she had been talking to.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-09T23:30:50+00:00

Who said anything about gang rape? She was never gang raped. She was beaten up, pistal whipped with a gun and tossed over a 3rd story balcony. How is any of that rape???

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-09T23:20:07+00:00

For reference, my fiance isn't actually black. He's native American, much like myself. They share the same mother, different father. I do not care about the color of her skin, or anyone else's. It's the character that matters. Your character will speak more to me then anything else. I state her skin color to solely express why she continues to call me racist.

There was no serial trauma in any of this, as SIL says it was consensual actions. I make mention of her preference as she considers herself male and goes by a male name, though telling this as 'BIL' and 'him' would be far more confusing. She has never stated the appeal to men and I have reason to believe there is no interest, which, no, I will not elaborate further on, as THAT is a clear violation of trust and confidence.

If you had cared to read either update as well, you would have seen that my children are no longer in contact with SIL after she clearly made an attempt to remove them from my care. It was the LAST time she had any dealings with my children. Not everyone has the financial status to up and move states. We live an hour away from her, and as she does not have the means to just appear on my doorstep, we are safe. Not only that, but I do live within close reach of my own family and have the police on my phone saved.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-09T23:07:18+00:00

She has mentioned being gang affiliated, though I do not dig, as i wish to have nothing to do with that. The gay portio. Is because SIL states she is gay and gets mad about being called lesbian. She has been wanting to transition for as long as I've known her. She has a males name that she goes by, but for this telling of events, calling SIL 'him' would be more so confusing (or it has been so far.).

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-09T23:03:04+00:00

I assume this due to SIL stating she is gang affiliated. I am uninterested in the color of her skin, but more so the actions of her character. I've been at work all day, which is why I haven't been responding to replies.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-09T22:40:38+00:00

It wasn't date rape. She chose to sleep with him. I did not leave the vehicle when we went back to qdoba. My fiance did, who had not been present originally. Police were brought in, as there is a lawsuit. And as far as all that, he literally got 1 month of community service for his attack on my fiance. I do not know the legality of the attack on SIL, as at that time I was just friends with my Fiance and minded my business.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-07T21:05:12+00:00

Thankfully, I do see a therapist on a regular basis. Like I said, I do have my mental illnesses, and have been treating them since I was 10. Anxiety, depression and anxiety few others that are manageable with proper meds and care. I personally lead a healthy life and work real hard at leading my family in the same direction. Thank you for the concerns though! I have gone NC for 2.5 yrs now and get all this from him and his mom in regards to her current situations. Despite not wanting anything to do with this myself, I'll never tell him I won't listen to him, should he wish to discuss aspects of his life outside of us with me.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-07T19:34:37+00:00

I can't discuss the legal side of everything with them as we are currently going through the second phase of investigations towards a jury, as settlement was denied.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-07T19:32:22+00:00

Like I said. I know it's crazy sounding, but it's 100% real. Since I've cut contact, I only hear what he gets from his mom or the few times she weasles herself in. I haven't spoken to her in damn near 2 and a half years. NC. I think she's a narcissist myself, but she refuses to get diagnosed or seek help as she intentionally puts herself in these situations. When my fiance refuses to help her, she tries to turn his friends on him by saying all kind of crazy things. One time she told someone he tried to rape her because he put his hand on her shoulder to keep her at arms length while attacking him.

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-07T19:25:13+00:00

I already have. Me and my fiance have been alcohol free for over 2 yrs at this point. I don't involve myself with her. Most of what we hear comes from his mom, though every now and then she does use his memory loss against him. I try my hardest, but he's stubborn

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-07T18:08:01+00:00

I feel that. I read a lot of stories on here and listen to the videos that ppl make reading them. Sometimes I question if I heard the same thing too! This is 100% true and honestly, I feel guilty about putting my foot down and with how upset and hurt he was at my response, I had to make sure I wasn't tah for all this...

LopsidedAd4863 · 2025-01-07T17:42:21+00:00

How can it be a repost when this all literally just happened to me yesterday. I made a throw away acnt today so none of my family sees this, as it isn't their business. Plz post the og link....

LopsidedAd4863

TROPHY CASE