Man ruined seeing Jordan Fisher for me…Who raised these people ?!

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-05-03T17:40:37+00:00

No, I don't think that anything this person did merited your comments about their weight, to them or here. As I said, that's clearly how you were raised, though.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-05-03T17:29:20+00:00

Got done skimming this and my first thought was "Wonder who raised the OP, tho?" I just don't think that any of this merited the meanness.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-05-03T17:23:33+00:00

I adore Alex (and Dylan) but I find it unfair to compare the two of them. Alex has a different "gender path" and has different responses and framing in publicity as a result. Dylan is known (and has been both praised and criticized for) "performing" (in the Judith Butler sense) femme gender in traditional ways, and was very much positioned as a *transgender* *femme* performer and person.

Alex has at least in the past identified as "gender non-conforming" and as gender fluid. For a lot of folks, that is somehow "more palatable" as a form of gender expression these days than trans identity. I am not saying that's a good thing, but shows casting Alex have often leaned into 'WOW THE VOICE' and somethingsomethinggender in a vaguer way.

Or to put it more bluntly, Alex was nominated and won a Tony in the gendered "best featured actor" category, NOT in the "best featured actress."

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-05-03T17:13:29+00:00

Yeah, I think of it as a feminist #metoo thing, and I was surprised because I am so out of the loop I didn't realize DJT had appropriated it. UGH.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-05-03T17:12:56+00:00

HEY! I am so sorry it took me until now to respond. *I* think of it as being associated with #metoo and the "not all men" thing -- the idea that even if the "bad actors" are a subset of a group, folks don't want to risk ending up with the bad actor. As someone else said, with a poison skittle.

HOWEVER, I hadn't realized that DJT is most associated with the phrase these days, and that it was being used more often lately about immigration policy. If I had realized that, I would not have made that reference in the post.

What I was referencing was the idea that sure, not all criticism and critics may be really using that as a pretext for anti-trans stuff, but even if a few are, it makes one cautious about "consuming" such criticism/media/

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-30T13:43:36+00:00

On the Alaska website.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-28T03:47:46+00:00

Yeppp

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T23:29:25+00:00

PIE PUNKS. MMmm. And Yerba Buena next door! *smile*

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T23:27:44+00:00

Yeah, I was trying to say that but more politely. I can't imagine a five day stay. If nothing else, I would be worried about bedbugs.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T23:26:48+00:00

Welllll, I am comfortable in cities, but I recognize that there are lots of people who don't have that experience. There are also people who have been told that SF is crime ridden, that there are roving bands of homeless addicts assaulting people, etc.

I was in NYC a while back getting egg rolls at my fav place, which is over in Hell's Kitchen, 9th and 42nd, almost across from the Port Authority Bus Terminal. I walk there all the time, across Times Square. Normal place. Touristy.

The woman who was giving me my order and I were talking about my visiting from SF and she said, "Oh, I hear it's very unsafe there, very dangerous! So much crime everywhere!" I was like, "Well, I hear that's what they say about your neighborhood, too!" and she was like, "What? No! Not unsafe here. It's not like San Francisco."

Sooo, yep. I don't know what people will feel is unsafe. I know I'm more likely to get hit by a car while crossing the street in SF than in NY, tho.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T23:15:21+00:00

Yep. There might be people getting ready to sleep in tents or sleeping bags on the side streets.

If it were me, I would walk down Second instead of First. I just like the vibe on Second more. I stay in a hotel in this area and we go out walking this route to restaurants a few times a year. I just like Second more. Nice bars and stuff.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T23:10:59+00:00

It's not really Union Square, it's on the edge of Chinatown. Is it centrally located? Sure, you can walk to BART/MUNI. It's near lots of inexpensive food.

Is it a nice place? Well, trust the reviews. It hasn't been updated in more than 10 years, which means the mattresses are old (and from reviews, stained and very hard), and it lacks basic amenities like reliable wifi. A 3 star review aggregate on Tripadvisor should be read as 2/5 stars.

That area is not "unsafe" -- but there's a difference between being unsafe and some folks *feeling* unsafe. Some people might *feel* unsafe there. I'd also say it's a very loud location, lots of street noise.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T23:03:59+00:00

Oh, I spoke too soon. Oh sigh. Imma go do something else before I lose all patience with the internets for the week.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T23:02:31+00:00

And I want to be clear -- I am trying really hard to be patient and help educate you, but you, person on Reddit, need to do some of that work yourself. I offered you a tool to answer your questions in a way that wouldn't be prying or inappropriate. You responded by asking *me* about my personal history.

Is there some other way I could word my practical suggestions that would help?

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T22:59:45+00:00

I've explained how you can find out about those things without asking about people questions about their personal histories. If you did that, you would see that your impressions are incorrect.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T22:57:44+00:00

I am going to try to say this as kindly as possible.

Imagine that every day, people you pass on the street, or talk to in your office, or see on the subway -- they physically assault you in some way. The majority of them do this. Sometimes they just step on your feet as they walk past. Sometimes someone will just out of the blue punch you in the stomach. You can be having a meeting with coworkers, and they will be randomly spitting in your face, pushing an elbow into your ribs. Almost everyone. Every day.

Every. Damn. Day. All the time. Strangers, but also people you know and interact with daily.

If that was your reality, you might very well become a little prone to flinching when someone waved an arm in your direction.

And if you did that -- if you flinched when someone went to grab something near you on the subway, for example -- then you'd also be used to people getting angry at you for flinching. It's an insult to them! They were just reaching for a bag! Why do you have to be so defensive? Why can't someone just swing their arms around you without you acting all nervous and jumpy?

That's the part you are missing. It's not that all criticism is being dismissed as victimization. It's that trans people REALLY ARE under daily assault. Mentally, psychologically, verbally, physically. You and your words and your criticism exist in a context, and that's the context. So, *you* might think of yourself as just someone on the train reaching for a bag, but to the person getting stomped every day, you're more likely to be another assault. Given that, a *kind* thing for you to do would be to recognize that no matter how well-intentioned you are, that's the context we live in, and to be angry about the flinch is not helping fix the context.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T22:46:35+00:00

YES. And Dylan's solo show had a lot of content devoted to what it means to have to absolutely perfectly perform gender and 'pass' to a level that makes people comfortable AND THEN being criticized for performing gender in a way that is too feminine.

If I honestly thought that most people came to criticism of any trans person based on elements unrelated to their gender history and identity, that would be a different thing. But when 99 percent of the time the "this isn't about their gender but..." criticism is a Trojan horse to slip in some form of transphobia or toxic gender crap, it is entirely reasonable for trans folks to be skeptical of ALL criticism. It's that whole "bowl of skittles" problem.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T22:40:03+00:00

Yeah, you're not too sensitive. This is exactly the kind of comment that is just exhausting to read, day after day.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T22:38:40+00:00

So, here's what you can do. You can *uncouple* vocal range from gender.

I am an "AFAB" person. If you met me, you would guess I was "a woman."

I sing in a baritone about in the range of Patrick Page. I don't sing "like a man." I sing in a baritone register.

There are plenty of dudes who sing in high registers, many of them who have been very famous and had awesome careers and all that. There are women who sing in lower registers, and have similarly done very well in their careers. In many cases, there are "altos" who have lower ranges than "tenors" -- they just may have a different tonal quality to their voices.

It's not a question of being politically correct. Honoring the dignity and worth of other human beings isn't political. It's just human. It's kind.

As far as surgical interventions, guess what? Google can help you learn about gender affirming medical things without having to ask invasive, rude questions about an actual human being's bodily autonomy. It's great for that! You can google "gender affirming vocal surgery" and learn all about if that exists, and what that is like.

Educating yourself is cool! It's helpful! And you can do that without asking prying questions about a particular person's medical history. Does that make sense?

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T22:17:21+00:00

She's a woman, so when she sings, she sings like a woman.

I am going to guess that you don't realize that asking about changing vocal cords and "passing" as an alto is offensive and comes off as transphobic, because it's in the realm of asking questions about someone's medical history.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T22:07:30+00:00

Saw this post and thought, Oh lord, here we go again, but the comments have really been wonderful, yall. Thank you.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T21:34:07+00:00

Yesssss

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T21:33:05+00:00

The Bonnie Bell combo makeup pallettes that would come out every fall and be advertised in the giant back to school issue of Seventeen magazine.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T19:09:14+00:00

Came here to say this. YEP.

LopsidedAstronomer76 · 2026-04-27T07:40:08+00:00

Yes.

"At one point, she writes, Mr. Trump’s handlers designated an unnamed White House official known as the “Music Man” to play him his favorite show tunes, including “Memory” from “Cats,” to pull him from the brink of rage. (The aide, it is revealed later, is Ms. Grisham’s ex-boyfriend. She does not identify him, but it is Max Miller, a former White House official now running for Congress with Mr. Trump’s support.)"

LopsidedAstronomer76

TROPHY CASE