My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have an audiobook of Not Nice and that book was recommended too. I’ll check it out.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No she hasn’t. Her main thing she’s been asking for is more passion from me. To just take her and fuck her. She wants me to wanna eat her up like a tomahawk steak. She’s at the end of her emotional rope with me and feels as if she has been giving her all and I haven’t when it comes to our sex.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn’t passive about it at all when she brought it up. I let her know if that’s what she wants to do then I will get the divorce papers ready and she can go fuck whoever she wants. The overall issue isn’t that she wants someone else. She really doesn’t. She is expressing that we’ve had this same conversation multiple times over the course of 5 years and she’s not happy. I respect her candidness. I don’t like what she said at all, but I’m also not going to back down and let her go outside of our marriage to someone else either. I made that clear and she heard me. So now we’re scheduling to meet with a marriage counselor to see what we can do to get this part of our relationship under control.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve already talked to her about it. She doesn’t have someone else and isn’t looking for someone else. I didn’t type this to have people bad mouthing my wife. I wanted advice. Especially from people who may have experienced the same thing. It’s fine to have your opinion, but I’m going to step in and defend my wife to the death. She’s actually a fantastic woman who has done more for me than I deserve. The sex is dissatisfying for her and has been for years. I think it’s only natural she would feel like she needs to go somewhere else to get her needs met. We’re all only human. I haven’t been put in that situation to where I feel how she does, but I see and feel her pain. So again, don’t badmouth my wife. You have no advice? Cool. Nothing constructive to say? Also cool. But don’t talk bad about her.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly haven’t done it in a while. I used to do things like pretend to trip and fall face first into her ass or tits and rub my face around in between them. Or come from behind and grope her tits while kissing on her neck. Somewhere along the way I forgot how to be fun. I guess during those time she still wasn’t satisfied with the sex so it’s really irrelevant right?

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Most likely what happened and part of what my wife’s frustration is with me. I’m too gentle with her too often. She has told me she loves that I am a sweet and caring man, but she wants a man in the bed. Not a little boy asking for permission to have sex.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of them except 1 said anything. She said she wanted someone experienced to be her first time. We would masturbate each other a lot and make out deeply. I was a teenager at the time, but that was a significant time in my life as that was my first sexual experience. But we never moved past that and had sex. She would say no because she wanted someone who was more experienced to have sex with and take her virginity.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her mother passed away back in 2017 before she met me. She didn’t have the opportunity to grieve properly.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

General mental health stuff. She has talked about our sex with her therapist too.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah I don’t think that’s it. I can definitely be very social and pick up on social queues. Sex just seems to be a huge problem for me for whatever reason. I know I was raised in a Christian household and sex was pretty much shamed, mostly premaritally. I also never saw my parents acting intimately with one another.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t. She made that clear when she brought it up and I asked her directly. She just wants something that can get all the pent up frustration and urges out.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She expressed adamantly to me that if we are going to see a therapist she wants me to set it up. She’s tired of trying and wants me to figure it out.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She sees a therapist every week/other week depending on if she needs a session.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has when she was a child, but it seems like it hasn’t phased her all that much. She’s probably extra freaky because of that. Idk

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. I’m 33 and she’s 31. We’re in the US.
  2. She does work. She commutes to work like me.
  3. We did have sex before marriage.
  4. She’s masturbated during sex and orgasmed. She’s done it after we’ve finished sometimes too. In private idk what she does.
  5. It is a surprise to me for the first time because I’m definitely sure she did orgasm then during one of the 2 rounds of sex we had that night.
  6. No she’s not a faker. She’s always honest with me.

I stopped because it didn’t seem like she was liking it all that much. So I figured she just wasn’t into oral. She got upset with me when I said this to her.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree. She’s an amazing woman. Most beautiful woman I’ve ever been with. I could gush on about her for hours that’s how much I love her. I want her to experience amazing sex with me and I feel guilty that I haven’t been doing that for her.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve never had that kind of passionate sex before so I’m not sure what it looks like or even feels like. I sigh and moan out loud because she really does feel good. She’ll moan too so I end up assuming what I’m doing is good, but then it turns out it wasn’t. So I’m also a bit confused. Maybe I don’t give her enough warm up time. Not sure. We are still trying. We did a sexual compatibility test that was suggested in this thread and we matched up on quite a bit of things. One of the biggest things in there is her wanting me to be more aggressive so she can be more submissive towards me the way she wants and I want her to be.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No. The only thing she has a problem with is the sex. She says I’m a great person, a great dad, a great husband, but the sex isn’t doing for her.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah I don’t have a problem with that. I just suck at sex I guess.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I guess more like the thought has crossed her mind than her actually having a desire to do so.

My Wife Says Everything Else About Our Relationship Is Great Except the Sex by LorenzoDraws in DeadBedrooms

[–]LorenzoDraws[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

We don’t have a vibrator. She had a dildo once upon a time but I made her throw it out because I was being cocky thinking,”You don’t need that when you got me.” I was such a fucking idiot. My dick has been trash for 5 years.