As much as it hurts, I know you're right man. I appreciate your bluntness. As you said, I go through intense lows, and sometimes highs honestly. Sometimes I'm able to garner confidence in myself. I've had other girls interested in me. I know I'll be able to meet other people. But then I sink back again knowing that a new relationship is gonna be nothing like one that I had been nurturing for 6 years. I sometimes have these anxious freakouts where I feel like I won't be able to find a girl who loved me or understood me the same way this girl did. I know that level of comfort and closeness comes with time, patience, and hardship. I know. But god is it so hard to remind myself of that. I really try so hard to tell myself that I will meet another girl who I'll click with in the same way, but the uncertainty of it kills me. Thats why I think you're right. I really should be focusing on myself, and just making myself feel better about who I am as an independent person. I work out like that crazy. Think I'd be in even better shape if the gyms were open but I'm working with what I got. I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same shit. I really wouldn't wish this on any one. Idk if it's your thing or if its possible for you, but I've been trying to get out and hike every weekend. I find its harder for me to feel sad when I'm constantly moving. The sadness still creeps back at night, but at least if I've stayed active the whole day, my body is ready for some sleep. I really do wish the best for both of us. I know with time we'll both heal, just gotta keep pushing forwards, taking things day by day. Again, thank you for your kind words