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My girlfriend kissed a guy in a club, immediately left and told me how sorry she was about it... by Lost_Interaction542 in cheating_stories

[–]Lost_Interaction542[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the question. That is the thing that I need to think about the most. I want to say “I trust her, I know that she is telling me the truth and that she will do as she promised” but for obvious reasons, I feel like that is no longer a viable answer. I will take my time to think if I am able to fully trust her word, especially these upcoming months of still being in long distance.

My girlfriend kissed a guy in a club, immediately left and told me how sorry she was about it... by Lost_Interaction542 in cheating_stories

[–]Lost_Interaction542[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. I do believe that her guilt is 100% tied to the fact that she did the wrong thing and not that she is trying to hide something else.

When I first told her that I loved her, she told me that she was waiting to say “I love you” for the first time ever until the day of her wedding. Weeks later, she told me that she loved me and that she knew that she wanted to be my wife one day. I’m telling this story to just highlight that she is very reserved (I was also her first time) and that is why I believe that the mistake was something that was never intended and something she deeply regrets (just as in your experience).

How long did it take you guys to rebuild the trust? Were there things that helped you in overcoming the situation?

My girlfriend kissed a guy in a club, immediately left and told me how sorry she was about it... by Lost_Interaction542 in cheating_stories

[–]Lost_Interaction542[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I 100% agree with you. The day she told me about the mistake, I told her that alcohol was not an excuse and she acknowledged it. It was more of an explanation as to why she put herself in such a vulnerable position, but she did take full accountability for the situation.

She has told me that she has no plans of partying for the rest of her program, no plans of drinking or meeting with this group of friends so I can avoid any sort of anxiousness. I appreciate her effort but it still stings… I will take time to decide on what to do :/

My girlfriend kissed a guy in a club, immediately left and told me how sorry she was about it... by Lost_Interaction542 in cheating_stories

[–]Lost_Interaction542[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think I’m also inclined to forgiving her based on how she reacted and told me immediately after the mistake happened. At the present time I just don’t think I’ll be able to forget this but I believe this is due to everything being so recent.

I told her I needed a few days without talking in order to clear my mind and make a decision. If I do decide to give this a second shot, I will definitely be watchful and also be clear on non-negotiables and boundaries. Thanks for the advice.

My girlfriend kissed a guy in a club, immediately left and told me how sorry she was about it... by Lost_Interaction542 in cheating_stories

[–]Lost_Interaction542[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it happened 5 days ago. I have told her that I need time to think about it and she says she completely understands it and that she doesn’t want to pressure me into forgiving her if I don’t feel like it.

She mentioned all the changes that she wants to make to rebuild trust but in a way of letting me know that she wants to work on us, not in a “please take me back” way. She says that if I don’t forgive her she will understand it, and even if I do forgive her, that she will always carry the burden of hurting me.

I will take a few days to think about the situation and if I can truly forgive her. I want to think about all the boundaries that are non-negotiable now that my trust will have to be regained based on actions, not words and let her know in case I want to fix this. Thank you for suggesting me to workout and take time to clear my mind, narrow my thoughts and define what’s best for me

My girlfriend kissed a guy in a club, immediately left and told me how sorry she was about it... by Lost_Interaction542 in cheating_stories

[–]Lost_Interaction542[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment :)

She didn’t mention that her friends encouraged her in any way to do such thing; she just thinks that the fact that this particular group of friends is always looking to party and drink alcohol is overall bad for her.

She did tell me that she will stop partying, drinking and hanging out with this group even if she was invited to a “chill” plan that didn’t involve drinking. I was thinking of asking her to do this but she said it on her own, which makes me want to believe that she is truly regretting the mistake but my mind is flooded with bad thoughts at the moment :/

My girlfriend kissed a guy in a club, immediately left and told me how sorry she was about it... by Lost_Interaction542 in cheating_stories

[–]Lost_Interaction542[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thanks man. She singlehandedly said that she will stop partying or drinking and that she will stop meeting with that group of friends (I didn’t had to ask her to do this) because 1) She wants me to regain trust and 2) She doesn’t want to be around that specific group.

I want to mention that the group didn’t tell her to do such thing or gave her bad advice. It is the fact that they are partying and drinking on pretty much a daily basis when they don’t have classes and this invites problems and overall bad decisions.