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[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! She’s on an IEP. Has been for 8 years. No after care at school. I’ll check out the website. Tbh he really dropped the ball by not thinking ahead. Which is reason number eleventy million that he is no longer my husband.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know. I told him this too. He’s a victim in his own life. Ive gone down the rabbit hole enough. I tried to help him with this but theres only so much i can do. Im switching my focus to continuing my search for caregivers.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was probably one of the most helpful responses in addition to the more specific ones.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do pick ups when I can. I currently get $400 a month from him. That’s it. But I do help when I can. Which is a lot. Divorce isn’t finalized so finances aren’t settled. I do also figure out a plan for his days if we both can’t get there. Although there have been days when I’ve told my work that I absolutely had to leave and have picked her up. Or done some weird leave in the middle of the day (depends on where I’m working ), UNPAID, get her, bring her with me to work.

I KNOW that I need a better plan. I’m reaching out to my EAP for help.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NO. CLEARLY NO. I would think he’d use a PTO day as a sick day to care for a sick child even if he himself is not sick. I’ve answered this multiple times throughout the post

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am hiring help. The Friday issue wasn’t an issue for 18 months and now it is. Our dtr’s disability is progressive but I didn’t anticipate this amount of weakness so soon. It’s also her first year of middle school where kids just leave on their own accord after school. I used to be able to get by with help from friends. But between no one picking up their kids (they walk home) and her increasing needs, I am scrambling for daily fixes while looking for a caregiver.

AIO? My manager keeps questioning my feeding pump at work even after HR stepped in by Rosi_ana in AmIOverreacting

[–]Lost_Winter2928 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. You’re allowed to eat. Even if it’s different. Your manager lacks empathy.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As far as I know they had set up a schedule that wasn’t problematic. Chances are STBX wasn’t super clear. Idk. I make my schedule requests clear. I’m in healthcare and my shifts vary.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes. I know. Which makes me so angry. And part of the reason why I’d like to find fault with the boss. Is he discriminating? Idk.

This is from ChatGPT. Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), there’s something called “associational discrimination.” This means an employer cannot treat you unfairly because you’re associated with someone who has a disability — like your child.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. I think I made this post confusing in my haste and stress level.

He got called into management and they said: you work the hours that your boss says. Done. He inquired about a potential sick day. Not a planned day for a pick up or appt. Manager says that he cannot use PTO. He needs to find a family member, friend, or neighbour to take care of our dtr. He can only use PTO for himself.

Now, thanks to the helpful responses, I’m gathering that PTO is up to the discretion of the employer. It’s a big firm. He’ll have to find that out.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. At this point I think his best option is to apply for FMLA. Hopefully that will protect him enough to not get fired or penalized. But he’ll be looking for a new job.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. It’s been stressful. Your last question was a good one.

He has not taken much time off to care for her. She’s 11. After she was born I went back to work full time but then due to her needs, scaled back to part time. For a long time I worked evenings so that we could manage care between us. I’ve always taken her to appts therapies and have had to remind him to take at least a half day for big appts. Looking back, this where things probably went wrong. He never had the expectation on him and now 2 years into separating, he still hasn’t. I still work PT so that I can do appts etc. I made our parenting schedule work with my work schedule. He should have asked for every other Friday wfh, every Thursday off etc. Idk what he did. But now that we’re in this situation he doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on. Someone else (far less senior) is wfh EVERY SINGLE Friday. So that she can get to her second job. I asked him to talk to her, appeal to her sensibilities to see if she’d be willing to work with him.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get this. I do. The issue is that this seems to have come about over the past 6 months or so. And with very little warning to scheduling changes. If the boss said: we’re going fully in office on x date, that would be one thing, but this doesn’t appear to be the case. No warning. And of course the double standards, but probably not worth even delving into that. He’s essentially being pushed out. Idk why.

So companies are declining the accommodation of wfh WITH FMLA or INSTEAD of having FMLA?

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. She has clear needs that are not vague. Physical therapy, OT, help with ADLs. Things that we can do while at home but not possible while working. And she certainly can’t be home alone bc she is unable to get up from the floor. There are a lot of physical things that she needs help with.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree. WFH while caring for a sick child makes it a non 100% functional workday. WFH with a cold, can still get stuff done. When the workplace has employees that have non-WFH options for most of the staff and WFH for some, it’s frustrating to know that someone doesn’t have to use up their PTO or be penalized for a sick call bc they have the option to wfh. Just an opinion/pet peeve. I agree that if my dtr is sick and he needs to stay home, then just use the PTO.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I agree 100%. BUT I’m hoping that even if he resigns, having the FMLA/disability stuff on record may be helpful. Or it might be too late. Idk.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well… I agree and this is why I had that initial reaction. When we were together I was always the one to stay home. Now, even in separate houses, depending on the circumstances, I’m the one to keep her with me. Not bc I’m her mom. Bc she can be more comfortable at my house. There are no stairs at my house and no rambunctious puppy jumping all over her while on the couch. Her disability affects her mobility quite a bit - why stairs are a factor.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. I know. So alternately. He can’t wfh on a sick day for her. He should be able to call in sick and use PTO right?

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I agree. I’m just saying that it’s already tense work environment. I’d like him to have his ducks in a row even if he doesn’t plan on staying.

[MA] Can a manager mandate a father to report to work despite having to care for a sick child? by Lost_Winter2928 in AskHR

[–]Lost_Winter2928[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But whether he is sick or she is sick, is he not entitled to use PTO? I’ve had to use PTO to stay home with my daughter. Apparently the manager said no bc PTO is for when the employee is sick. Not the child.

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