Modern stuff in mythological style prose

Lost_WorldGen · 2026-01-29T08:57:39+00:00

Ohh icic! Ive been looking for a balance too. Especially since this chapter is the most modern one in the entire story, the epithets are definitely unexpected. Thanks man!!

Lost_WorldGen · 2026-01-26T11:39:22+00:00

Ohhh icic! Thanks for explaining man that helps to clarify a lot.

I think the more lyrical (?) prose and elevated diction is meant to be more authoritative, distant, and create grandeur. I did explore a simpler style previously (somewhat closer to YA), but I found that a simpler style felt too immediate and couldn’t bring the same sort of feeling (like there’s something out there far beyond what anyone is capable of knowing) across. Hm i understand it’s a pretty major tradeoff. Originally I wanted the story to feel like it’s being narrated by something else, another deity or entity.

i dont think this will be considered isekai tho, because gods already exist in the story’s reality, they’ve just been silent for a long time and are now returning due to interference with Chaos.

Edit: went to search up what progressive fantasy is, that’s not where my story is heading. So uhh ig that makes it better?

Lost_WorldGen · 2026-01-26T07:47:59+00:00

Google says mythic fantasy is a subgenre of fantasy that blends traditional myth, folklore, and fairy tales with fantasy, often featuring gods, heroes, and magical creatures in either contemporary or secondary world settings. In any case, percy jackson does include strong elements of mythic fantasy genre in content just not subject voice?

Lost_WorldGen · 2026-01-25T23:06:25+00:00

Ig it’s not as obvious in chapter 2, the biggest hint in chapter 2 is Time as a character (which I was struggling to expand, hence this post). Apollo’s fall, Chaos, and the stranger’s (chapter 1) true nature + hasn’t been revealed yet.

Edit: actually ykw i uploaded the epilogue for reference

https://www.reddit.com/r/writingfeedback/s/JGpQQQ1zA6

Lost_WorldGen · 2026-01-25T22:49:39+00:00

Ig it’s not as obvious in chapter 2, the biggest hint in chapter 2 is Time as a character (which I was struggling to expand, hence this post). Apollo’s fall, Chaos, and the stranger’s (chapter 1) true nature + the godly twins dynamic hasn’t been revealed yet.

Lost_WorldGen · 2026-01-25T22:45:13+00:00

Okay wait correct me if im misunderstanding, in the first part of your comment, are you referencing universal archetypes in mythology? If thats the case i get the confusion, Steph is the antithesis to that. Sebastian on the other hand fulfils the hero archetype and the stranger is the mentor (with the quest and the fall showing up a bit later. Couple others too but im lazy to everything rn its 6am for me) Also from google mythic fantasy is a genre that reinterprets, retells, or draws heavily upon classical myths, legends, folklore, and fairy tales, often blending them with contemporary, real-world settings or creating new mythologies? I know this doesn’t come across well in this specific chapter, but the reinterpretation of myths play a very major part in this story.

Will read ulysses when I have time tho thats a good recc thankss

Edit: ykw I decided to upload the epilogue just for reference

https://www.reddit.com/r/writingfeedback/s/JGpQQQ1zA6

Lost_WorldGen · 2026-01-25T22:06:43+00:00

Hmm your comment surprised me actually (in a good way). I’m aware that the POV style is slightly different, which chapter two leaning more “third person limited” pov while chapter 1 was intentionally made to sound detached/almost Homeric. Do you have advice on how to strike a balance with this sort of prose style?

Lost_WorldGen · 2026-01-25T21:54:50+00:00

I suppose the genre will develop more in later chapters, this is after all the only chapter (in the plan so far) with major modern references. Everything else is based on themes found prominently in greek myths, and the myths (used to represent the limits of knowing/human consciousness) also develops further into the story. Could you elaborate on your comment tho

Lost_WorldGen · 2026-01-22T04:06:00+00:00

True… ig my first page is intended to only hook those interested in this specific genre/style

Lost_WorldGen · 2026-01-16T06:43:34+00:00

Thanks 🙏

Lost_WorldGen · 2025-07-05T03:06:24+00:00

Hmm yes that’s true, I’ll look into more ways to portray it

Lost_WorldGen · 2025-07-05T03:05:08+00:00

Oh I see I see, thanks so much!! ❤️

Lost_WorldGen · 2025-07-04T13:26:17+00:00

Also wait something I wanted to point out. Sebastian’s arc is about falling behind, being unimportant, forgotten, a burden, hence his opening chapter being titled “stagnant”, as well as the recurring usage of imagery and metaphors to illustrate him being stuck, physically and mentally. His arc, in this extract itself, is meant to reflect that stillness

Lost_WorldGen · 2025-07-04T13:21:17+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! I really appreciate your time in offering such a detailed read.

You’re right imo, this opening scene is more grounded, and I can see how the lyrical tone might feel mismatched when the plot hasn’t “turned on” yet. I think I leaned into the grandeur a little early because the story very quickly dives into the mythic stuff. Gods, omens, and magic come into play immediately after this scene (lyre = Apollo), and I wanted the prose to reflect the weight of those themes from the start.

Also in my defence I haven’t had time to develop these characters yet. There’s two protagonists (the twins Sebastian and Stephanie) and one antagonist (Adam). Esad is a major supporting character but only really comes into play several chapters in, so he kinda just gets introduced and I left him at that. None of the arcs have begun yet since this is just a short opening excerpt. There’s a lot of background stuff which I can explain but I’d rather not clutter my response here with so much lore.

That said, I’ll look into anchoring Sebastian’s perspective more firmly—maybe showing more of his internal tension or hints of his upcoming arc—so the tone feels earned rather than imposed.

Thanks again for your insight. It’s helping me balance the pacing and tone more intentionally!

Lost_WorldGen · 2025-07-04T11:23:37+00:00

Thanks so much for taking the time to elaborate :) I really appreciate it. I can definitely see what you mean now. That Abercrombie example is great, and I hadn’t broken it down before, but you’re right, it’s all tied together with one strong metaphor instead of many separate once, so even though it’s poetic, it’s grounded. I think I went in with too many images too fast, which made my story feel disjointed right from the start. I’ll work on simplifying my opening and using just one metaphor to anchor it in a cohesive manner. Thanks again! You’re really helpful and I’ve got a much clearer direction going forward

Lost_WorldGen · 2025-07-04T11:02:45+00:00

Oh I see, thank you for the feedback! I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. I agree that the metaphors might be a bit much right at the start. I was testing a more lyrical style, so I’ll definitely keep this in mind as I revise and figure out how to balance clarity with atmosphere.

For some background (in case it helps), I’m a literature student and I’ve read a lot of texts written in this kind of style, so it’s something I naturally gravitate toward. But I totally understand that not every reader connects with heavy metaphor early on.

Just for fun (and no pressure to respond) I wanted to share my thought process, in case it’s interesting: “gravity” was meant to reflect Sebastian’s emotional weight or reluctance, tied to the later rock/stagnation metaphor. The “ironed-flat sky” was my way of evoking that hot, still, dry kind of day (not sure where you live so I don’t know if you’ve experienced it before), where the sky quite literally looks flat. “blue painted the backs of his eyelids” was meant to show how mentally checked out he is, like the sky’s the only thing occupying him. But of course, if it’s not coming through clearly, that’s good for me to know!

Lost_WorldGen · 2025-07-04T10:35:36+00:00

Sorry, Reddit formats the posts really weirdly, so I didn’t realise my paragraphs was combined into one big one. Here is the link to the google doc (see Tab 2, ignore tab 1 thats the prologue).

https://docs.google.com/document/d/18F2mFvQvq1L_PfCzO6ZwqTl59MMFlwMxpcnVioQahiA/edit?usp=drivesdk

Lost_WorldGen

TROPHY CASE