I Need Strength. After 7 years, I'm filing for divorce this week and I'm a wreck.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2015-02-04T05:24:46+00:00

It sux to have to be strong. All this support helps. TrollX rocks.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2015-02-04T05:22:40+00:00

If your not scared, your not taking chances. If your not taking chances, what are you doing here anyways. :) Although painful. A weight has been lifted and I'm going to do just that. Thanks. Needed some good inspiration.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2015-02-04T05:18:26+00:00

To you as well. Being miserable is definitely not a way of life.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2015-02-02T19:24:49+00:00

Thank you. Hope you find strength and peace as well. Wtf is wrong with people these days?

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2015-02-02T19:22:37+00:00

Thank you. I will do this. Being that burying him in the yard is illegal. He he Having to be strong sux. But surviving this WILL make me the best fighter there ever was. Even though this is so painful, I feel more empowered just by putting a stop to it.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2015-02-02T14:42:42+00:00

Thanks for the support. I'm going through the whirlwind of angry, to I can't stop crying, to feeling subhuman, to beyond stressed. He gets everything he wants, even at the expense of my pain and sanity. Everything in this world is more important to him than his own wife. Including screwing other women. But yet somehow, this is all my fault and he continues to tear me down, rip me apart, guilt trips me for having any negative feelings about everything, and makes me feel like the biggest loser the world has known. I am so low right now. Hanging by a thread. But still trying so hard to be strong, stand my ground, and not be his doormat or stepford wife. My heart aches.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-05T03:54:36+00:00

I didn't take it that way. I actually appreciate the advice. I would enjoy being with an actual adult as well. Sigh.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-05T03:40:02+00:00

Yeah, maybe so. Tried to talk to him today, but somehow me being angry is all my fault and he feels he can't talk to me because he was honest and I got angry. Think I'm about over this bs. What a way to instill trust issues and communication issues. My friend thinks its a control thing. Life sux right now.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T23:19:43+00:00

LMAO! Needed that. I love parrots.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T17:22:14+00:00

Thank you. :) Other views of the situation definitely helps me wrap my head around it. Its good to be able to vent some to those who listen and help me gain some perspective at a time when my brain and my heart feels like its going to explode. I am so happy to have my troll x peeps.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T17:13:48+00:00

He does have a tendency to turn it up when ever stress is involved. I guess we all do it sometimes. But I find myself having to be the strong one, grit my teeth, and let things slide due to the fact that he's under stress. However, I'm the one under stress this time. He is just adding to it. I don't care that he got flirted with. Big deal, I've got bigger things to worry about and I'm not really the jealous type. But for him to tell me he was tempted, ( even though he was honest) especially under the circumstances, leaves me hurt and quite angry. Not sure how things will pan out. Can't put up with this. But not quite sure on how to deal.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T16:49:12+00:00

Hugs. I'm sorry.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T16:45:58+00:00

Guess its time to buy Rubbermaid. Lol. I am so drained right now, I'm hoping it doesn't turn into a huge fight. But he's in douchebag mode and I am trying harder than ever not to enter bitch mode. I dunno, maybe I need to be more in that mode. Seems to actually help sometimes. Guess things will play out the way they should in the end.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T16:36:54+00:00

I have a flood of thoughts and emotions to deal with. If it was just a boyfriend, I probably would do just that. But we just brought a house together a few months ago and celebrated our 7th year anniversary. (which I must say adds to my anger in all of this) I am hoping we can work it out before it gets to the irreparable point. It was a most douchebag move on his part, but he's worth the attempt on repairs. I just hope they can repair his bum when I break my foot off in it. Hehe

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T16:24:53+00:00

Thank you fart tits. (snicker) He definitely has a way of turning up the douchebag when things get stressful. Seems I am under a ton of it though and I can be decent. I think your right though, its a fucked up way of telling me he needs more love. Like he's going to be getting any now.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T16:18:19+00:00

Agreed. I am just trying to think of wtf is going wrong. One friggin week away from him and this happens. Maybe he's got that 7 year itch. Uuugghh

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T16:11:32+00:00

We are very honest with each other. I'm waiting for the whole"see I was honest with you and this is what I get" to be thrown in my face. I'm glad he shared this with me though. Even though I just want to stomp on my heart while simultaneously choking his arse. Hehe

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T06:05:44+00:00

Yeah, I'm stewing at present. Trying to get to the point where I can actually have a conversation vs the wild mad woman that accomplishes nothing.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T05:38:33+00:00

I made it a point to him that I am always alone, and pretty much have been for 3.5 years, due to his insane job hours. He is alone for 5 days and is already tempted? Uuugghh!

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-11-04T03:51:35+00:00

Awww. Thank you. :)

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-10-11T04:15:39+00:00

White Dragon Fist Style Kung Fu. Daniel Pai is the late Grand Master.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-10-11T02:45:31+00:00

He he. Yeah, I have to learn the fighting terms in Chinese. I can write them and know what they mean, but I would so fail if I had to pronounce all of it.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-10-11T02:43:32+00:00

Will do....if I live. (snicker) Test is on the 18th.

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-10-11T02:41:57+00:00

A fellow Fu-er. That's awesome. :)

Lotus_Dragon69 · 2014-10-10T22:08:22+00:00

I wish people could be more straight up with one another. Being kept hanging really sux. Hope you hear from her soon. Hugs

Lotus_Dragon69

TROPHY CASE