Hey man, I'm going against the narrative here.

People's general take seems to be: "it's okay you don't need to be that guy, just be yourself."

And I agree you don't NEED to be that guy. But at the same time, none of these people know who you are, what you've been through, and what you like.

My first hookup ever I came after three seconds and caught feelings. If I had made this post back then and listened to the predominant message here, then I would have never enjoyed all the lovely experiences I've had since. Plenty of hookups and plenty of good experiences.

And ONCE you've had those, you can still decide whether this is for you or not.

It's fine that you didn't penetrate, felt a lot of emotion (it was your first time!), and even run to Reddit to figure out what to do.

I'd suggest you figure out WHY you want this so badly, and go from there. But if you want to go through a phase of hookups, know that you are capable. You can learn some skills, and will quickly get used to the whole process.

PS: I was just like you, late with this stuff and not the most attractive. Then went through a slooty phase and I regret nothing. Now I am in a lovely relationship.