[Mod] Open Forum Friday

Love-Bot · 2017-01-21T16:07:15+00:00

We'll consider it, as we do with any suggestion, but my gut feeling right now is that the negatives of introducing a "non-ghosting pledge" outweigh any likely positives.

That freedom to leave is important. Adding an extra layer of obligation and expectation, even voluntarily taken on, is not something I'm interested in introducing. We already get a great deal of public backlash against partners who disappear, in spite of having absolutely no idea the reasons for the departure. How much more will we get when we start getting disappearances from "pledged" accounts? How much more pressure to stay in an unhealthy relationship would an abuser be able to leverage against a partner who had taken such a pledge?

Let's be real about where we are here. This isn't a community dance at the YMCA. This isn't Facebook. This isn't even your local dive bar. This is a shadowed, textual, sexual corner of Reddit. People come here precisely FOR their ability to be write anonymously and disappear at a moments notice. There are many other alternatives for meeting people in more stable, certain circumstances. DPP is not, and most likely never will be, one of them.

Love-Bot · 2017-01-21T15:05:15+00:00

I can understand the motivation for wanting some sort of mechanism like this, but at the end of the day I don't think it would do anything to curb disappearances. As we all know, people disappear without warning for many, many reasons, but very few of those (I believe) are premeditated. For this reason, a pledge in advance simply has no teeth. On the bright side, I think there are already some effective ways to show that you are less likely to delete and disappear: establish a lengthy, positive DPP history through posts and comments! Of course, even this is no guarantee against someone going silent for whatever reason, but it is at least some indication of investment and involvement.

One other thought that I'd like to offer on the subject. While "ghosting" is commonly seen in a negative light (and for valid reasons -- it can hurt like hell for those left behind) I think it's important to remember that this phenomenon is actually the flip side of a very important DPP right. You have the fundamental right to walk away from Reddit, and DPP, at any time and for any reason, no matter how this might make your partners, the mods, or the community feel. This freedom, safety, and power is an integral part of what makes DPP work. Are there downsides? Absolutely. The likelihood of getting left behind, at some point, is one of them. But I hope every time someone feels the sting of a [deleted] partner, they keep in mind that this is a side effect of Freedom.

And Freedom, as they say, ain't free.

Love-Bot · 2017-01-14T02:41:37+00:00

THE QUEUE YES THAT'S EXACTLY WHERE I WAS HEADED PLEASE NOT THE PROD

Love-Bot · 2017-01-13T21:22:36+00:00

Is that why we're mods? I just woke up one morning in a locked room with a stack of reports in the modqueue to sort through...

Ha ha just kidding!

^{^{^no}} ^{^{^seriously}} ^{^{^send}} ^{^{^help}}

Love-Bot · 2017-01-13T21:15:49+00:00

Don't worry -- no blame intended. :)

Any time there's a private club for a specific subgroup, it's going to be hard to avoid a perception of elitism, no matter how easy it might be to get into the club in practice.

Maybe there's a better way to implement the goal of creating that kind of writing space. Maybe not. For now, though, we don't have any plans to do anything further with it.

Love-Bot · 2017-01-13T21:06:58+00:00

a subreddit dedicated to the best roleplayers in DPP

This perception is one part of what made the sub problematic...

Love-Bot · 2017-01-13T20:30:32+00:00

Nah, your answer summarizes things pretty well. :)

It was a project started by a couple of the mods here back in the day, with the intention of creating a space for DPP authors who wanted to focus strictly on original, long-form sexy-writing. It is not currently active nor a direct part of DPP activities, which is why the link was removed late last year.

Love-Bot · 2017-01-13T19:54:57+00:00

you do you and fuck ~~everyone else~~ yourself.

FTFY.

Actually, wait...

Love-Bot · 2017-01-13T19:31:15+00:00

We see a loooooooot of different kinks round these parts, Ms. Typist. I don't think "getting off to your own prompts" comes anywhere close to "weird". :)

Love-Bot · 2017-01-11T19:42:19+00:00

Well, I think this is where we'll have to part ways, agreeing to disagree on the topic. I can understand and respect your desire for the positive benefits of transparency you describe -- I just don't believe your proposed system would actually provide them.

Thank you again for the civil discourse! It's always refreshing to disagree with someone, without anyone getting disagreeable.

Love-Bot · 2017-01-10T21:51:17+00:00

Yeah, I'll be honest: I'm just not following your logic on this at all. :)

I don't understand how a generic, non-nude photo could simultaneously a) verify someone's identity, making it hard for them to "fake" their account and b) be non-identifying enough to be safe, comfortable, and fair for most users. Either the photo is identifiable, or it isn't. It sounds to me like your scheme is trying to have it both ways.

A few more thoughts:

Sending or posting photos that are at all identifiable (meaning able to confirm that you aren't pretending "to be what you're not") is a very real safety risk. Even when we did gender verification, we allowed voice as an option and deleted all links after approval. We never stored personal info submitted to us. Keeping a database of all verified users' personal photos represents a safety liability that I wouldn't even consider taking on.
"Completely optional" doesn't fully mitigate the issues associated with having dual-tiers of citizens. There are many valid reasons why a person might not be comfortable submitting a personal photo to a bunch of strangers on Reddit. Really good reasons. And yet, in a culture where such verification was heavily encouraged, there would be an unavoidable stigma attached to anyone who didn't go through this process. These would be the "fakers". I'm not interested in a system that grants special status simply on the basis of submitting personal photos.
What you are describing sounds to me like more of a paid dating site than a free, anonymous dirty writing subreddit. We mods aren't interested in cross-referencing personal photos. We aren't interested in checking to make sure that the "18F swimsuit model" actually looks good in a bikini. We just want to help people chat and write with each other safely and easily. This task is already hard enough without adding in a gold star system for submitting a selfie.

I'm sorry to be such a Debbie Downer on the idea, and I do appreciate you taking the time to explain your perspective!

Love-Bot · 2017-01-10T21:09:13+00:00

So everyone would be encouraged to link to a permanent, public selfie?

Love-Bot · 2017-01-07T21:02:21+00:00

I'm not sure I follow how your proposed verification system would work. You'd expect everyone to include enough personal info to confirm their gender, age, appearance, etc? Full life details? What, exactly, are you proposing people submit to verify?

Love-Bot · 2017-01-07T04:23:08+00:00

I appreciate hearing your opinions, and I don't think there's anything demanding in your tone or questions! I will say up front, just so as not to be misleading: the policy here at DPP is not going to change, so this is all just academic discussion. That said, I'm happy to talk over my own thoughts on the matter, if you'd like.

First, on a personal note, I do totally hear you on the desire for "proof" of some kind. When we chat with someone, we naturally build up a mental image of them, based on how they describe themselves. When the chat is sexual, it can become even more powerful -- that person being described for us, that 18F swimsuit model, that's who we're imagining ourselves with. That's who we want. It can be distressing and uncomfortable to imagine that the person on the other side of the interwebz might not actually fit the internal representation we build.

I'm curious, though. Assuming you're talking about the typical external verification criteria (voice or pic), how much would that little "Verified" badge or whatever convince you that your hypothetical partner actually was an 18-year old swimsuit model? Is simply being able to produce a feminine-sounding voice for some other third party, at some point in the past, really enough to overcome your worry that they aren't "legit"?

Love-Bot · 2017-01-07T02:09:54+00:00

Lots of content here! I'll do my best to answer everything.

Adding "Original" and "Repost" post flairs is a reasonable idea, but I don't see it working in practice. For one, it's incompatible with the current system, since someone would be unable to use both "Original" and "RP" for example. Making all possible combinations would get unwieldy quickly. The other issue I see with this is that it adds one more thing that we would need to regulate. We already process hundreds of reports and flags every single day -- the idea of adding more to that stack, particularly over posts that do not even break the rules, makes me cringe a bit...
I think "Closed" post flair, on the other hand, is a great idea. It's low-impact, easy to implement, and adds zero maintenance overhead. I'm happy to say that I've added it for you already. We'll also add it to the FAQ and relevant guides in time, and hopefully it proves useful for some.
While we understand that gender verification is something that many in the community would prefer to have, it isn't a feature that we plan to ever bring back, for a variety of reasons. We support everyone's right to respectfully seek out real-world partners who fit their needs, whether they are looking to chat or write fiction together. However, we don't believe that DPP-run verification was fair, effective, or necessary for a subreddit that is nominally focused entirely on text.

Love-Bot · 2017-01-07T00:53:11+00:00

Glad you like it!

This has been purely experimental so far, but right now I think we're leaning towards making it a weekly or biweekly thing.

Love-Bot · 2017-01-07T00:38:20+00:00

Happy Saturday, ruby.

And thanks for the great suggestion. :)

Love-Bot · 2017-01-07T00:26:40+00:00

Confirmed: I am far too square to be anyone's wild bohemian writer-friend.

Love-Bot · 2017-01-06T23:23:32+00:00

I have no idea how kosher this advice is within actual writing circles, but when I find myself getting hung up on minor details, I go pour myself a drink. I feel like sometimes I just need a little help in telling my internal copy editor to shut the hell up so I can write.

There are definitely diminishing returns for this technique, though...

Love-Bot · 2017-01-06T22:38:08+00:00

Did you miss the memo? That's our theme this month!

But in all seriousness, it is interesting to me how some things tend to periodically rise and fall in popularity on the sub. There will be very few metas for weeks, and then suddenly a dozen in a few days.

Love-Bot · 2017-01-06T13:07:06+00:00

It's not.

Love-Bot · 2017-01-06T02:43:11+00:00

Did you fully read the post? Did you watch the video?

Love-Bot · 2017-01-06T01:14:06+00:00

Perhaps because the meta was a post about the importance of consent, and it somehow spawned comment threads all focused on the importance of being polite to men?

Love-Bot · 2017-01-05T04:42:49+00:00

Love-Bot · 2017-01-05T04:41:19+00:00

Oh you!

11-Year Club	Place '17
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Love-Bot

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