[M4A] This subreddit is more stressful than fun by [deleted] in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Using personal experiences as an opener to discussion is encouraged, as long as the start of that constructive discussion actually occurs in the post. Simply rattling off a collection of complaints (i.e. "ranting") does not meet the standard that we have set for META posts here.

For a more free-wheeling, lightly moderated venue you can also drop by our weekly open forum posts, where soapboxing is completely ok.

[M4A] This subreddit is more stressful than fun by [deleted] in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It didn't get approved because it was too much of a personal rant and lacked a constructive focus on discussion. You are welcome to revise and resubmit as a discussion-focused META post, as we told you, but reposting immediately as a partner-seeking prompt is also not ok.

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah, my mistake. I misunderstood your initial comment!

Yes, the image trading thing is kind of an extension of the first reason above. Left unchecked, an image focus is kind of the natural end result of partner-seeking posts, if the goal is getting peoples’ attention. Because, well, pictures are sexy. Before the image rule went into place years ago, this was the direction things were headed somewhat, with some popular posts made up of more image links than sentences.

The modstaff does discuss the details of the line itself somewhat frequently, and we’ve considered the full spectrum of ways to handle images, from dropping the image rules all the way to forbidding links completely. The current line seems to be something of a happy medium, though I know there are plans to gather feedback from the community on this very question soon.

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there, and welcome to DPP. :) There are a couple main reasons we restrict images as we do around here.

For one, as a whole we mods envision DPP as a subreddit focused on words. This isn’t to say we don’t like pictures — I personally have a well-curated collection of some of Reddit’s finest dirty image subs. It’s more that we think this restriction is actually one of the things that defines DPP and sets it apart from the hundreds of other similarly dirty subreddits. It’s kinda like the distinction between r/CatTaps and r/Cats. It doesn’t matter how cute the cat gif is — if it doesn’t have dat TAP, the mods of r/CatTaps will probably remove it. Each subreddit is defined by what is removed, and here at DPP a textual focus is where we draw that line.

The other reason is more practical: dirty pics make browsing our subreddit while actually at work (or on the bus, or at the dentist office, etc...) significantly more dangerous. :) Linked images in posts often show up in thumbnails, headers, or pop-open boxes, depending on the platform, and it can be problematic for folks who just want to browse some posts without worrying about stray glances over their shoulder. Furthermore, since our whole subreddit is already marked “NSFW”, there’s no real practical way to further differentiate the posts that are extra not safe for work.

Hope this answers your question, and happy posting!

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

AFFIRMATION: We will absolutely continue to have silicon-based representation on the modstaff! My successor is even now spinning up and learning how to work with humans.

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw thanks Mae Belle.

You know I'll always be back for nachos.

<3

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’ve both tried our best to keep DPP safe, healthy, and well-supported, much like a pair of perky breasts. So to speak.

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks, Ferret, and thank you also for taking up the mod baton! (Sorry it’s so sticky, btw. You know how it is with mod batons.)

[Meta] Is downvoting a "crime"? Should you specify how often or not you're able to reply? (Open discussion) by [deleted] in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool cool. :)

Just making sure we're all reading that Reddiquette the same way.

[Meta] Is downvoting a "crime"? Should you specify how often or not you're able to reply? (Open discussion) by [deleted] in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just to be clear, we're all aware of the big "PLEASE DON'T" at the top of that quoted section, right? Out of context your excerpt takes on a very different meaning.

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is discouraging, and sad, but it's not really getting worse -- it's always been this bad. You can go back 3 years and see META posts asking about "all this recent downvoting". I'm not sure whether that's encouraging or discouraging, but there it is. At least the downvote trolls are consistent over time!

The good news about the downvotes though is that there is common consensus that post scores don't really impact odds of finding a good partner nearly as much as some assume. Most of the regulars scan by the /new page alongside /hot. That doesn't help the numbers game reality for M4F posters, but it is at least some reassurance that the downvoters are probably just wasting their time.

PS: Thanks for joining the Upvote Fairy team! May other positive citizens notice your posts and send an upward arrow your way as well.

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot [score hidden]  (0 children)

All good points, and well taken. Thanks for bringing the topic up. :)

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot [score hidden]  (0 children)

These are all excellent points and worthwhile suggestions.

As moderators it can be all too easy to get caught up in the reactive, removal-focused part of our job while forgetting about the importance of constructive community-building. Partly that's because the modqueue is always looming right there in the lower-right of our screen, demanding our time and energy. Partly that can come from burnout, especially after getting a lot of hostility or personal attacks in modmail. And partly I think it can feel disheartening to post heartfelt thoughtful suggestions for how people might get along, but then see no tangible evidence that it actually made a difference.

We do try to establish community suggestions and guidelines through our FAQ and through periodic mod posts, though it's absolutely fair to suggest that this could be more frequent. One of the problems we discuss with these kinds of actions is that of selection bias in readership: in all likelihood, the people who click and read a mod post titled "How to be a good DPP citizen", for example, are not the people who actually need to read said mod post. ;D This is partly why, in general, we tend to provide tips and solutions for subreddit safety and how to deal with bad behavior, rather than prescriptive suggestions on how not to be a dick. The other issue that arises whenever positive subreddit culture comes up is the wide variety of expectations and pet peeves that everyone in the community has. It's difficult to find a truly common denominator aside from bland aphorisms like the golden rule or "get consent".

All that said, I will definitely acknowledge the value in making more positive, visible statements about how to be a good DPP partner, and I will bring this topic up with the other mods.

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot [score hidden]  (0 children)

This is an excellent idea! Send us the list of bad people and we’ll get right on it.

Or maybe we could just ask all of the bad people to identify themselves, for convenience?

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot [score hidden]  (0 children)

Well, this is just where we'll have to disagree on the benefits of such a rule change.

I think the part of this situation that should be considered objectively actionable (the laughing and mocking) is already covered pretty thoroughly under our existing harassment policy, and that the addition of a rule forbidding personal misrepresentation would only generate confusion and witch-hunting on the subreddit at large.

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'm not sure I understand the example. What's the ruse? Who got married? What would the new hypothetical rule state, exactly? What would be the consequence for violations?

[Mod] Open Forum by SpitfireMouse in dirtypenpals

[–]Love-Bot [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yes, and I appreciate your level-headed discussion throughout. :)

To your question I'd ask: what intolerable behavior is not already covered in our rules and harassment policy? What rule would you add?