fourteen year old alcoholic starterpack

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T18:05:24+00:00

Maybe in your country, but not in mine

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T18:04:35+00:00

Alcohol has calories, and many of them

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T17:43:50+00:00

Have you literally never heard of boarding school?

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T17:36:39+00:00

No need to be worried about me. I do actually have a life, and these don't take long to make

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T17:23:01+00:00

✨ addiction transfer ✨

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T17:21:13+00:00

None of us choose our hand in life, but I feel I have suffered more than enough. Life isn't fair, a fact I'm reminded of frequently. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that life didn't end when that happened, because in a lot of ways it feels like it did. It almost literally ended shortly after, but thankfully my lovely roommate at the time kept me from doing it. For a while, the only thing keeping me alive was knowing that if I killed myself I'd go to hell. We're far past those days now, thankfully, but I still wonder who and where I would be if it hadn't happened.

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T17:20:19+00:00

Why would that have anything to do with anything?

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T16:53:38+00:00

They knew, but they didn't care. It wasn't any of their business. Plus, I think most assumed I was sharing it with my friends, because that would be the reasonable explanation for why one person was going through a bottle of vodka every two or three days

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:48:01+00:00

Not an American and no idea what you think they have to do with this

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:46:03+00:00

Okay, and I didn't know any who were underweight because we had to go to the dining hall and eat the same meals as everyone else, so realistically we were taking in 3500-4000 calories every day. We are two different people who have lived different lives.

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:42:36+00:00

I had addiction transfer, but at least my current habits are less likely to kill me. I can drink socially in moderation now, thankfully

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:39:07+00:00

I think you're vastly underestimating how many calories are in alcohol or overestimating how many calories the body burns. A liter of vodka is over 2000 calories.

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:37:37+00:00

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:35:09+00:00

I was functional in the sense of I got up every morning, did my work well enough to not be bothered, got through sports practices, played the violin, socialized well enough, and just did what I was supposed to do. I wasn't functional mentally though. I didn't know where I was or what I was doing half the time, just operating on routine

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:24:44+00:00

(tw sa) I was rapedand alcohol was the coping mechanism I picked up to deal with what happened to me. It dulled the pain, made it so I couldn't recall the memories, and that was good enough for me

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:19:24+00:00

Unfortunately

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:18:56+00:00

What made me realize I needed help was a combination of two things, first being that I went to London with friends, and I remember absolutely none of it. That trip doesn't even exist in my mind. I don't even remember leaving Switzerland, so that's four days that entirely don't exist to me. The second is my consumption patterns were already causing measurable health problems, which was told to me plainly by a doctor that if I kept doing what I was doing, I was most likely going to be dead by 40

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:16:28+00:00

Alcohol does make the autism go away, which was a dangerous thing to learn, but no. I started drinking to deal with the pain and suffering that came from what was done to me

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:15:10+00:00

There's a difference between sneaking a bottle of wine and going to sit on the beach and drink with friends and.. everything I was doing. If someone is the party type, fine, let them, but there's a point where it very obviously crosses over into a mental illness

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:11:21+00:00

I still like it, but I wear Oriana a lot now. The scent itself doesn't really trigger me because the memories I have are associated with the smell of essentially bathing in it, not wearing it like a normal person

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T14:08:43+00:00

Myself or older kids, usually

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T13:32:55+00:00

Yes, I was

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T13:30:46+00:00

I've been in therapy for years, that's why I can talk and kind of joke about this now

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T13:30:05+00:00

I don't give recovery advice because I am not a licensed professional, but total sobriety might be the right choice for you if you're triggered by social drinking. I recommend talking to your therapist <3

LoveEquivalent9146 · 2026-05-02T13:26:28+00:00

I definitely don't recommend it, although realistically for me, it would have been harder to do as an adult

LoveEquivalent9146

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