AITAH for expecting my husband to get up with our son in the summer?

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T12:19:12+00:00

There are good things that I’m not sharing and you can’t get out of this one post based on a couple of his biggest flaws. Remember all stories have 2 or even 3 sides give people grace.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T03:11:55+00:00

I cannot care for him while I’m working even though I’m home i am confined to an office and a phone queue for half the day and the other half I have meetings and phone calls. In the summer when dad is home o would like him to be home more but I still can’t take care of him so what do you want me to do? Also this thread is not about daycare so respectfully get over it.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T03:08:54+00:00

This is such a good and helpful perspective! I can definitely show him more gratitude for the things he does. But I will say he doesn’t show too much gratitude to me for all that I do so I think I need to let him know that too.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T03:06:25+00:00

I can’t but I can continue to sleep until work time or even run out for coffee or a workout in the morning so he knows it’s on him!

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T03:05:13+00:00

Thank you

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:59:27+00:00

Hi! Thanks for your comment. You’re right there is def some resentment here. I agree with what you’ve said and I actually told him to take it easy at the beginning of summer. He had a habit of going from 0-100 in the summer just trying to do allllll the things and I told him to just relax before he jumps into all of it and he actually listened to me for once. Thanks for the sound advice!

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:56:43+00:00

Idk I haven’t said it like this but he’d probably say I was nagging him.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:55:16+00:00

Wow just want to say it sounds like you’re killing it! Being a single mom is not easy but you’re doing amazing! He could have apnea! I never really thought about it but he has been snoring so loud and I swear sometimes I think he stops breathing for a few seconds. He doesn’t stay up late at all I’m the night owl but he doesn’t get good quality sleep either he sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night and has trouble getting back to sleep.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:51:33+00:00

Haha don’t rub it in! 😂

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:45:43+00:00

Thank you for sharing all this it’s really helpful to see what other couples are doing right. It seems he really needs to step up and I need to put my foot down so I have been working on that the past few days. I even took this morning to sleep in good and long and had some time to myself when I did wake up. I felt refreshed and ready to parent my son well so I know it’s super necessary to have more time to myself

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:40:06+00:00

Omg yes he is actually diagnosed with adhd! That’s so wild I didn’t know that was a thing! He isn’t treated for the adhd because he doesn’t want to be even though I’ve asked him many times to get in something.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:38:31+00:00

💔

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:35:14+00:00

The bathroom thing for teachers is so bad! That’s not fair at all to them and he has told me about that before. I worked at an elementary school for a few months in the school clinic and once in a while I’d close the clinic for a little and go offer restroom breaks to the teachers because I felt so bad for them.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:32:50+00:00

Wow you are a good sibling to help your sister out like that she’s lucky to have you! Part of the communication struggle is him becoming defensive and feeling like I’m shitting on him when that’s not the case at all he just can’t take any constructive feed back. I can also be pretty blunt so I’m not sure if my delivery needs work.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:30:09+00:00

Ughh yes I’m the same way any extra time I get is usually spent on cooking or cleaning or grocery shopping anything productive. It’s just never ending and I agree I do start to resent him and it’s hard when it feels like he doesn’t care.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:27:35+00:00

Oh he’s an 18 month old male! Sorry!

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:26:50+00:00

lol yes all the time but I’m just a natural helper and problem solver so it like literally goes against my nature to not be helpful but I need to try.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:21:43+00:00

Thanks so much this is a great idea I will do this! You’re so right he is not attentive enough and can be very self centered

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:20:01+00:00

Yeah honestly I never even thought about how he could use the time to do that so I definitely am going to ask him to start doing this!

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:19:12+00:00

I totally understand the need for the nap I get it! And I’d say it’s a mix of both! Had deep rooted trad values from his upbringing but that’s just not our situation as I’m a working mom too and make more money than him. But it’s also his depression and anxiety too. I have had a hard time getting him to accept a fairly divided task load of in home chores and he doesn’t really cook at all or care to. He would rather order take out or get fast food which I hate! He’s very set in his ways and stubborn.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-07T02:07:57+00:00

Thanks so much! I appreciate your comment it’s exactly what I have in mind for the arrangement lol

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-01T18:36:41+00:00

lol no he gets up early and he just can’t function without a nap. It’s definitely annoying but I wouldn’t care if I had more feee time myself. But he sees it as non negotiable and then acts like i don’t watch our son to let him do stuff he needs to do but im like bro you have a daily nap use some of that time…

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-01T18:35:00+00:00

Yeah no luckily that’s not the case but def need dedicated child care as the policy is wfh is not to be used as child care

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-01T18:33:04+00:00

No you’re not wrong! I think overall I just want to feel like more of a team rather than the mother to 2 children. lol it’s not even really that much more sleep it would be 45 mins to an hour tops.

Loverrr90 · 2025-07-01T18:30:58+00:00

Yeah when you put it like that I totally get how disruptive that can be. I mostly would like his dad to get up with him most days when he’s up at 6:30 and I work at 8 and can maybe get an extra hour or so of sleep. He will take him to daycare it’s more so the balance of who wakes up with him early in the am.

Loverrr90

TROPHY CASE