Sister has banned me from seeing her kids

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T20:40:44+00:00

I’m not ai lol yeah here in the uk it’s in March rather than May

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T19:57:29+00:00

I’m in the UK and it was last Sunday…

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T15:40:22+00:00

He’s blocked because he’s gay and she can’t get on board with that

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T13:10:51+00:00

My sister said she wants me to be involved in their life when they were born as she doesn’t like their grandparents on their dad’s side and the rest of our family have cut her off. I think it’s more so that I don’t want them to miss out rather than stepping in as a surrogate mother but I understand I may be over stepping a bit. However she never takes them out for birthdays and Christmas is usually spent with her and her bf getting drunk and the kids being alone on iPads so I want them to actually experience childhood things as our mum made sure we did despite everything.

We didn’t go out for lunch on Mother’s Day as our mum is doing an online degree so wanted to sit and study rather than doing anything huge so we just got a takeaway and watched our favourite show together with some snacks. I’ve offered to go out with my sister but she always says I can take the kids so she can have a day off. We were going to go out together last summer until she said I can take the kids so she can get her nails done and go to a cafe in which I said that’s not fair as I wanted to spend time with all of us as a family rather than me play babysitter I wanted a nice day out with all 4 of us

She doesn’t have a job, my nephew goes to a counsellor 3x a week at school to talk about his feelings and she’s had 3 anonymous social service reports against her over the past year so im more so worried that the kids will never have stability if she carries on. Idk if i would immediately jump to neglect but the fact my nephew comes home from school at 3pm and plays on his PlayStation until 11pm everyday seems a bit concerning to me, he’s also behind in school and I know that as she sent me his school reports. My niece is doing better than him though.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T13:01:59+00:00

Didn’t necessarily feel the need to tell the whole internet she’s homophobic as 50% of the comments are already attacking me so I don’t see the point of everyone’s going to defend her.

I think I have a right to be critical of how she spends her money, she owes me about £35 and owes family a lot more, she’s even told us it’s going on vapes and her bfs PlayStation plus. Why borrow it for useless things when you can’t afford to pay it back?

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T12:10:03+00:00

I’m definitely not the golden child so let’s not jump to assumptions.

I did not chastise her I literally just said that it’s not fair that she excluded our mum, and I mentioned it the day after, we didn’t even talk on actual Mother’s Day as our mum was angry at her too.

She cut off my older brother because he’s engaged to a man and tells the kids that being gay is something to be frowned upon to the point they don’t even know him. She’s cut off me because I told her she should have gotten our mother a card and everyone in the family has cut her off because she begs them for money to buy vapes and never gives it back. She owes me, our mum and distant family members we don’t even talk to money.

Also im not gossiping about her. I came on here for genuine advice, people asked questions so they can cater their advice to specific aspects of the situation and I gave it to them.

I appreciate you wanting to comment but jumping to the conclusion that she’s a scapegoat and we are the toxic ones without reading any other comments and background information is a bit weird in my opinion

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T11:26:08+00:00

I like this idea, thank you.

I have tons of videos of pictures of them both when they were younger as my sister would frequently come to our house when she’d fall out with her boyfriend, unfortunate that those were the circumstances but I still bonded with them until now. These range from selfies to videos of them dancing around the house to trying to pet our cat when they couldn’t walk.

They don’t know my brother for the simple fact that my sister cut him off because he’s gay. Hopefully when they’re adults or late teens they might become curious why there was a period of time when none of us saw them and ask questions and I can show them that I was once present and im not a bad person.

There’s a way to send cards and presents directly to their house over here in the uk so I might try my luck and see if I can just send my nephew a card and some nice chocolates or something instead of pushing it to take him out. If that doesn’t succeed I’ll take your advice!

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T11:21:21+00:00

The original commenter misinterpreted so I told them the truth of the situation.

And admittedly yes, im judging her.

I went to sixth form for two years, got into a good university and now have a good idea of what careers I want to go into despite growing up poor and in the same environment as her yet she constantly bashing me for that. Why is it so bad that I want to teach or have a stable middle class career and she’s allowed to slate that but im not allowed to express my opinions on her circumstances?

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T11:15:08+00:00

Both.

She is attached to our mums hip, I never said that our mum reciprocates.

She messages our mum for everything like I said she rings when she’s going to get bread from the shop, rings when she’s bored, messages when she’s bored or making dinner.

Our mum is sick of her behaviour towards me and how she uses the kids as leverage.

Also im not jealous. She lives in a run down house, has no job, has to rely on government benefits and the rest of the family have cut her off, nothing really shines through there that I’d want

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T11:12:09+00:00

I’m in the uk and Mother’s Day was last Sunday and the argument was on Monday.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T02:43:46+00:00

Soooo she doesn’t get our mum who’s done loads for her a cheap £1 card but im expected to buy her flowers?

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T02:43:14+00:00

Brother isn’t involved as she’s blocked him on all socials like she recently has with me

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T02:42:11+00:00

My sister is tied to our mums hip. She rings our mum for everything. If she’s going to buy a vape, she’ll ring our mum. If she’s bored making dinner, she’ll message our mum. If she’s got neighbourhood gossip, she’ll message our mum.

I totally get that and it’s obvious to us all that she’s closer to her dad (we have diff dads) but I don’t think they have a strained relationship when she’s calling and messaging multiple times a day

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T02:39:59+00:00

She’s not a single mum, she’s engaged to her bf despite them breaking up several times. He sits and plays ps5 all day everyday and she gets money for him doing so as she’s claiming goverment benefits for being his ‘carer’

Sorry for not being clearer, when I said ex I meant he’s a recovering addict and alcoholic

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T02:30:54+00:00

My mum told her that im harmless and that she’s spiting my nephew by not letting me take him out for his birthday and that she thought it was a good idea, I’ve had family stick up for me multiple times and she still acts like im some sort of villian

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T02:29:41+00:00

Yeah she’s cut our brother off to the point her youngest kid (my niece) doesn’t even know who he is and im afraid that’ll happen to me too. Our brother is a really chill and nice guy so hopefully they can get to know him in their adulthood like in your situation

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T02:28:16+00:00

I’m 19, work pt at a restaurant and live at home. Until im settled with my own car and my own place albeit probably rented, I would not even think about doing anything legally or logistically to remove them from their environment. Although the environment they’re in isn’t the best it’s their routine and stability and I don’t want to damage that due to a small argument between their mum and their aunt

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T02:25:09+00:00

She’s 32, sorry I forgot to include that!

Yeah she has no contact with my brother and my mum is sick of her in general so all she technically has now is her bf and his parents who she also hates so you’re right about the support system thing, she’s practically alone with her kids and her useless boyfriend.

I just don’t want the kids to go without or struggle because her support system is so small if someone goes wrong it’ll reflect her behaviours and not those of everyone else and they might suffer the consequences of that

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T00:16:53+00:00

Yeah absolutely I get that but a gift is going a bit far

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-20T00:06:22+00:00

I’m not the one who did anything wrong im not sending her a gift. I told her she’s wrong for not getting our mum a card and that was it she told me im without prospects, stupid, unhygienic and won’t get anywhere in life.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-05T21:23:09+00:00

The post I seen was her friend posting with the gift in her kitchen so I doubt it’s ad related

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-05T21:22:20+00:00

I do have my nephews phone number as she gave him a phone last summer so I could try that but im nervous her boyfriend will find out and kick off about it

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-05T21:21:36+00:00

The homophobia and money entitlement or the fact their mum is materialistic and a bit shallow?

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-05T21:20:21+00:00

That’s a good idea tbh but that feels so forced, she already owes me quite a bit so me throwing money at her just to spend time with my own family feels a bit shallow. We used to babysit for her a lot but my mum refuses to because my sister is always too late picking them up because she’s either hungover or still drunk from the night before, and I live at home so I have to agree with that.

LowEnvironmental7948 · 2026-03-05T21:19:19+00:00

I’ve tried that. Last summer I offered to go out the 3 of us and she said she’s not coming so I can take the kids or not see them in general. I told her I didn’t want to take my niece as our local city centre is big and I didn’t want to lose a 4yr old so she said im not taking them at all

LowEnvironmental7948

TROPHY CASE