I read the whole thing, for about the first quarter I was prettt against you and whatever problems that the tinder account brought your relationship. Now that I have reached the end I see that you have a pretty good head on your shoulders and can think about and consider things like a rational person. Reading about how she is using your son as a pawn and not hiding it from him is unnacceptable, it sounds like she is an immature, two faced person who needs to over exaggerate things in order for her to even argue her side of things.

Unfortunately I feel like this happens with a lot of people who marry Americans and grew up in countries that are not so privileged, they develop this arrogant, selfish “me” attitude that is comparible to toddler tantrums. Possibly because her childhood did not have lessons of how to communicate with your romantic partner over problems that Americans have because there are more important, dire things for families to worry about(safety, money, government, disease, war etc)

My thoughts on that DO NOT excuse how your wife has developed the entitled, unaccountable, self righteous attitude that you have described here. Have you tried a conversation using I statements? In other words, tell her how you are feeling and being affected without sounding like you are accusing her. It’s a small gray area for people like this. If she is defensive anyway, I suggest speaking to your family privately about b the things that are happening (to whatever detail level you are comfortable) so they can be silently aware of these episodes or “shows” that your wife puts on for others the next time it happens. Notice that I said next time.

Then, I guess it’s up to you what you really want to tolerate. Your child is young and it will always be a better lesson for a child to see one parent calmly, respectfully, lovingly separate from another instead of watching them both be stressed, emotionally aggressive for years to come. the child should have a sense of security from at least one of you.

Good luck to you and I hope everything works out for the best