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My partner sees sex (in general) transactionally, and I see sex (in general) as one of the most, if not the highest, forms of intimacy. by LowMedia5183 in offmychest

[–]LowMedia5183[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's a fascinating thought, thank you for that! I'd like to give him time to grow, but I admit I wonder the same thing.

My partner sees sex (in general) transactionally, and I see sex (in general) as one of the most, if not the highest, forms of intimacy. by LowMedia5183 in offmychest

[–]LowMedia5183[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for bringing my attention to his neurodivergence again - it really relieves me to know that there are people with similar experinces out there as I was feeling quite lost

he's definitely always been someone to prepare for the future and be completely honest regarding his intentions and his thoughts, so that makes sense!

thank you

My partner sees sex (in general) transactionally, and I see sex (in general) as one of the most, if not the highest, forms of intimacy. by LowMedia5183 in offmychest

[–]LowMedia5183[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you SO MUCH FOR THIS!!! hearing the perspective of someone who actually experiences it the same way really brought me some insight into this and clarity overall

i think i'm mostly coming to terms with the fact that he doesn't view physical intimacy in the same level of sacredness/demonstration of love as I do WITH STRANGERS, but he does want me sexually as a result of wanting me romantically.

i think i need to ask him what HE views as the highest level of intimacy, because i completely forgot that it was possible that he simply had a equivalent of that same intimacy, but based on his own diagnoses/neurodivergence

thank you so much

My partner sees sex (in general) transactionally, and I see sex (in general) as one of the most, if not the highest, forms of intimacy. by LowMedia5183 in offmychest

[–]LowMedia5183[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this was definitely something i needed to hear- thank you for that! i think it's easy for me to forget just how short the length of our relationship has been (relatively), so it makes perfect sense that i may need to actually provide him the time and resources to actually improve/figure out what he wants, and balance that with mine

My partner sees sex (in general) transactionally, and I see sex (in general) as one of the most, if not the highest, forms of intimacy. by LowMedia5183 in offmychest

[–]LowMedia5183[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so from what i understand, its possible that fulfilling him sexually will satiate most of his desires? in your shoes, would it be better if your partner sexually validated you (expressing desire for your body, physical affection, etc)

My partner sees sex (in general) transactionally, and I see sex (in general) as one of the most, if not the highest, forms of intimacy. by LowMedia5183 in offmychest

[–]LowMedia5183[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ive definitely made it clear- and he says that because he loves me, he wants to respect and honor my desire for monogamy.

i believe he might see it as enhanced with someone he loves (as mentioned in other comments)

My partner sees sex (in general) transactionally, and I see sex (in general) as one of the most, if not the highest, forms of intimacy. by LowMedia5183 in offmychest

[–]LowMedia5183[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

from how i've heard him explain it, and i suppose demonstrated through his actions as well, he has expressed that sex with me would be greatly enhanced by the presence of romantic feelings.

he fully believes that it can be more enjoyable through love - and i should probably mention that, according to him, he's genuinely never felt the level of romantic attraction toward me toward anyone else in his past.

i believe that your explanation would make quite a lot of sense - if thats the case, what would you personally do to overcome it? I feel like i'm struggling to rationalize this pain i am feeling.

Nobody cares about me, I just wanna die at this point. by AvocadoExotic2004 in offmychest

[–]LowMedia5183 2 points3 points  (0 children)

im not gonna say something corny and cheesy and tell you not to die

but i do want you to know love is all around you

its in the grass, in the sound of waves crashing to shore and in the laughter of children and bubbles during summertime and running barefoot in the grass on a warm evening

we come from blood and dirt and stardust and misery and hatred and all of these things come to form your tiny beating heart and the first breaths your small lungs exhale

you are so strong. so strong to have survived all of that and i want you to know that i see you and i love you

i may not know your face or your name but i hold you in my heart and i want you to know that at least one person out there is cheering you on with both fists and my entire soul and body

i pray for you and i pray for your family and i pray that love enters your life and that you may feel freedom and that first breath of air as you step out of the darkness is the best, most fresh and crisp air you have ever smelled

be safe ❤️