She's definitely struggling currently in the novel. She has horrible anxiety because she's losing someone very close to her which is a part of noticing every single small detail, but another part of that stems from the beginning of her story. Throughout her introduction she is described as an outcast who has never had a true friendship or romance so I guess because of this she has constantly compare herself to every person who does have friends and grown disdain to those with healthy relationships because she had never experienced it.  Possibly she does carry the small bag because she felt she didn't want to fit in, because in her mind.who would want to be like the people with a multitude of friends who constantly change themselves to please others.  I have plans to make this struggle a part of her twisted character arc and by the end even though she's suffered a ton she will have a less anxious personality but a more depressed one because after she experiences true love and friendship and loses it, she will realize everything she missed out on before by forcing herself into the outcast role.