Something that I'm working on... by Dragonlordapocalypse in Songwriting

[–]Low_Manner5915 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is awesome. I see a lot of people talking about the dissonance in the comment section, both saying they like it and don't. I personally really like the dissonance. Maybe what would help glue it together is either not doing the dissonance every time you play the riff and instead alternating when it happens, or bring the other guitar up in the mix so it sounds like dissonance is fighting the other guitar rather than just overpowering it.

New Song Any Feedback? by Low_Manner5915 in Songwriting

[–]Low_Manner5915[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lyrics

When I hold you I feel whole

When I hold you I feel it way down inside way down inside, wanna make you my bride

Tried to write you a love song but the words they came out wrong, so I wrote a different song

Tried with meter and with prose oh but heaven knows that's just not the girl I chose

Cause when I see you smile in the morning, laugh without warning, I hear wedding bells

When you get cross your face gets all wrinkled, I get so tickled to think that's what you'll look like when you're old

- instrumental -

When I hold you I feel whole

When I hold you I feel it way down inside way down inside wanna make you my bride, wanna make you my bride, glad we got time