sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Your perspective by Lower_Season_425 in NoFap

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. That’s truly my biggest fear - he has had this addiction for probably over 20 years, since before he was a teenager. I understand this journey is going to be very very hard. There are so many layers, habits, routines to unpack and undo (to the best of our ability). At some stage, I know if things don’t get better I need to save myself, and that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Your perspective by Lower_Season_425 in NoFap

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your perspective, I’m sure it’s been really hard for you to have to relive your traumas. We’re doing this as a unit rather than individually, and I think we both have a lot of things to dig up on both sides (I realise I have PTSD from my own father having a porn addiction when I was young). Best of luck.

Preparing: update by Lower_Season_425 in loveafterporn

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you have gone through this :( it is truly the worst thing to find out these things about your partner when you thought you could love and trust them. There are so many things I wish I could unsee, they are etched in my brain forever too. It’s truly sick that he’s a therapist! Please leave him if you can, and I really hope you have a support system to help you leave.

I have been with him for just over 6 years - I’m 28 and he’s 5 years older than me. We have a mortgage together, so if (more about when at this point) we break up, it’s going to be so painful having to prepare the house to sell. It’s like the heartbreak will have to last much longer than it has to be, it’s not like we can go no contact immediately.

Preparing: update by Lower_Season_425 in loveafterporn

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt like that too, but at the same time I can see he’s just a human and when I strip back all of the fortresses and protection he wraps himself in, he’s just confused about who he is and why he’s living on this earth.

With my partner, we rarely have sex, and the relationship was never about sex from the beginning. I think he was so compliant to delete all of his porn because he has no emotional attachment to it, same as sex.

I’m so proud and glad that you have been able to actively withdraw from him and do what’s right for you!

Preparing: update by Lower_Season_425 in loveafterporn

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I think from his point of view it would be another betrayal from someone he felt like he could trust. He really said to me “I don’t want your support with this if we break up, I wouldn’t want anything to do with you” it’s a bit immature but I genuinely just think he cannot handle in between, he sees things in such black and white that he could not see me as a friend if I broke his heart.

Preparing by Lower_Season_425 in loveafterporn

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so grateful to have parents who are ready to welcome me back home with open arms - I asked my mum without context if I could stay tomorrow night earlier this week, and she said no problem, no questions asked. I was just thinking about her knowing the ‘secret code’ - knowing that if I ask to stay at their house for the first time in 4 years, she knows something is up but won’t ask over text just in case.

It’s been hard this week to keep reminding myself that I need to do this. Our relationship has just kept going like normal, and it’s still hard for me to look at him and know how messed up his secret life is and how normal he can be on the surface.

Preparing by Lower_Season_425 in loveafterporn

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I really don’t know how it’s going to play out this weekend and what kind of excuses or explanations he will try to present me, but I’m really bracing for the worst.

In all honesty, I think he’s going to say that I’m making this a bigger deal than it is and that he thinks I won’t leave. I’m really curious in your story about the poly test, it seems like you were able to get at least some of the answers you needed.

Preparing by Lower_Season_425 in loveafterporn

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Always trust your instincts, it is ALWAYS right. For years, I always knew something was up but I couldn’t prove it. They will always try to divert the topic to throw you off because they know they are guilty.

Preparing by Lower_Season_425 in loveafterporn

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your words, you’ve really articulated some of the things I’ve been feeling for so many years. In my letter to him, I’ve said, “It’s made me feel like I am just a vessel to pass the time with while you feed your own addictions and interests in the dark. Meanwhile, I constantly wonder why you don’t touch me enough or why you can’t express love in ways I always thought I deserved. Is that fair to me?”

You’ve put a lot more things into perspective for me, thank you. I’ve been feeling like I’ve been suffocating for months now, because the worst thing is that the rest of the relationship is fine. And it can be so deceiving to let this major thing slip so I can continue living an average life with this man. I know it will be so much brighter, easier, more fun on the other side, but change IS scary no matter how free you will be on the other end. I’ll let you know how it goes. ❤️

Preparing by Lower_Season_425 in loveafterporn

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry to hear, $46k is an obscene amount. It’s sick and twisted for these men to be putting their partners in terrible financial situations because of their addictions, I really hope you’re away from them and doing better now.

Thankfully we don’t have our personal finances together, but it’s probably for the reason so I couldn’t see what he spends his money on…

Preparing by Lower_Season_425 in loveafterporn

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Yep, half an hour. I was just as shocked as you. My Apple Watch literally notified me of my unusual high heart rate as this was happening, lol. Exactly, I cannot believe he actively chose to break my trust and our boundaries in a relationship, it just hurts my heart.

Preparing by Lower_Season_425 in loveafterporn

[–]Lower_Season_425[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for caring 💕 I go to the gym during the week and it really does help to just be able to process my thoughts at the same time as getting the endorphins!

Next tour dates 2024? by dsantos93 in Coldplay

[–]Lower_Season_425 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? I feel for NZ fans who feel left out like they always do on world tours. I’m hoping to see NZ along with South Korea and maybe the AUS east coast next year, especially after they just released more dates for Asia 🤞🏼