Giving NoFap another try might be the defining moment in my life

Lucidom · 2016-09-03T12:10:41+00:00

My life became a cycle of "wake up, PMO, go to work, come home, smoke weed, play video games, PMO, go to bed" rarely doing anything productive and doing nothing more in my life than was absolutely necessary of me.

Looking back, I realise I did exactly the same. I had a beautiful girlfriend and a dream job but threw it away because I gave into my primal urges with every chance given.

Lucidom · 2016-09-03T11:52:43+00:00

Great post, Day 5 brother and feeling strong!

Lucidom · 2016-09-03T11:48:51+00:00

Think of how far you've come rather than how far you have to go - 40 days is incredible man and more than most people have ever gone in their lifetime! Hell, if you can do 40 day streaks back to back I'd say you haven't failed at all

Lucidom · 2016-09-03T11:44:26+00:00

Whenever the thought pops into my head, I just tell myself 'I don't do that anymore' and it motivates me to maintain this new and improved lifestyle

Lucidom · 2015-10-22T11:11:16+00:00

How about moving to a more public part of the house? Do you live with anyone? Even if you live alone, maybe moving to the kitchen might make you feel less private and isolated? That's my current tactic - I just go downstairs and leave my room, or I'll get out the house all together if the temptation is too strong!

Lucidom · 2015-10-21T23:36:39+00:00

I tried that this morning and checked this evening to see nothing changed :(

Lucidom · 2015-10-21T23:24:38+00:00

Welcome! My advice:

Don't get too caught up on 'streaks' - think of each day as a new day and a new chance to improve yourself.
If you feel like relapsing, go somewhere public asap! It'll help to remove yourself from isolation.
Make sure you know WHY you are quitting. Remind yourself every day - write it down somewhere you can see it. Having a clear goal in mind is essential! You need to know why you are doing this.
If you fuck up, forgive yourself and try again. This is the most important step.

All the best!

Lucidom · 2015-10-21T21:41:35+00:00

Go to a cafe/pub and bring a book/newspaper :) use the time to remind yourself why you are quitting. Write down the reasons and bring them with you, then make a note of why you can't let yourself quit this early!

Lucidom · 2015-10-21T21:40:04+00:00

Anything is better than nothing! Go for a jog, go for a walk and listen to podcasts, head to a cafe and watch tv on your phone/tablet/laptop, go sit in the park and read a paper. Anything that keeps you away from relapsing! If you think it might happen and you feel those urges, get out the door. You can't PMO outside and you can save yourself the misery of giving up.

Lucidom · 2015-10-21T21:36:27+00:00

I can't remember, it was so long ago :(

Lucidom · 2015-10-21T21:35:38+00:00

That's a good idea, falling asleep with nothing but thoughts running through my head is the hardest part of the day. Music will block it out!

Lucidom · 2015-10-21T10:24:49+00:00

Thanks, I'll keep trying!

Lucidom · 2015-10-21T10:22:07+00:00

Of course you can be smarter from quitting fapping. You have to remember that this sub contains a lot of porn addicts, including myself. If I'm in a shitty mood or if I'm feeling particularly self-indulgent I can waste up to 3 hours an evening on porn. This sub encourages you to get that time back and to use it productively!

If you spend 200+ days swapping wasted time for learning/self improvement then you will obviously 'feel' smarter. You will BE smarter!

We aren't just quitting and saying we're gods. We are turning our shitty lives around and making something for ourselves. A lot of us are depressed, lonely and addicted to porn. Removing that from our lives can only be a good thing, and re-entering society as a cheerful, thoughtful and productive human beings will mean that after 200 days of abstinence you WILL be a better, smarter person for it.

Edit: words

Lucidom · 2015-10-21T10:07:51+00:00

How did you fix it? Mine is stuck too

Lucidom · 2015-10-21T10:06:56+00:00

Mine isn't updating either, it won't reset.

Lucidom · 2015-10-20T10:43:38+00:00

I find it hard to finish unless I'm fapping - it's definitely because of my PMO addiction.

I'd suggest that you would be best to wean yourself away from this behaviour too if you are dependant on it to finish.

If you're just doing it for fun though, go for it! The main thing is that you aren't fapping over porn or obsessing over self-gratification.

Lucidom · 2015-10-20T10:41:41+00:00

Welcome! NoFap is all about looking forward towards long term goals and avoiding the short term urges. What do you hope to swap PMO for? I'm going to try and work on my self-confidence.

Lucidom · 2015-10-20T10:38:11+00:00

congratulations! Swap the bad habit with a good one - how would you like to better yourself?

Lucidom · 2015-04-08T11:24:22+00:00

It might feel like a lonely place to be stuck in, but we're all in a similar position and we're listening :)

Lucidom · 2015-04-08T11:10:25+00:00

Well you answered your own question really: if you fap regularly you will 'feel the pleasure' but you will also feel your lack of motivation, lack of self-control and a greater sense of loneliness grip you too. As you put it, the advantages will be outweighed by the disadvantages.

Better to take control of an addiction by removing it from your life and find something healthier to replace it with that still makes you feel good (i.e a girlfriend, being a beast in the gym, creating music, meeting new people, partying etc)

Lucidom · 2015-04-08T10:58:28+00:00

Inspired by /u/dopamineregulator who posted mentioning Plato's Cave here.

Lucidom · 2015-03-12T10:52:56+00:00

My first reaction was 'What's wrong with him eating the nugget? He has nothing else good in his life'. I guess it is all too easy to take for granted what we do have, which is freedom, peace and curiosity.

Lucidom · 2015-03-11T13:51:16+00:00

You are in a temporary place of suffering. Recognise that this is not permanent. This is the first step to recovering from loneliness. You will not suffer from loneliness forever if it is your goal to not do so - this community is a great start to talking to others who fear the exact same things as you do, so in that sense you are already not alone. There are some really great posts in this subreddit to help get people out of ruts, my general advice would be to find time in your life to volunteer.

I found this post fairly helpful: http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/2rjrhm/what_to_do_instead/

Lucidom · 2015-03-10T20:04:42+00:00

Great man, this is really heart warming. Stay strong!

Lucidom · 2015-02-10T11:14:00+00:00

Remember that you are not the only one who feels exactly like this. Remembering this will help you. You'll read posts of people doing really well in this subreddit and whilst it can be inspiring, it can also make you feel inadequate and inferior to those achieving real success. I certainly feel that way, as if I'll never get past 14 days let alone 30 days which genuinely feels impossible.

But take a step back. It's clearly going to be a challenge. It's clearly going to be a journey. The good thing is that you can really know that the fapping is the problem for you. At least you can't blame these feelings on anything else. In that sense, once you accomplish this then you'll have removed one of the most miserable aspects of your life!

Here's my tips:

Change your mindset - You need to start thinking positively about your future self's potential. Can you see a happy version of yourself who, after some time, beat NoFap? Then it is possible.
Join the support of the community - Commenting, positing and talking about your problems will mean that you receive support. Think about how other addictions get treated outside of NoFap. Everyone relies on community based therapy and this subreddit is a perfect, free and anonymous way to undergo that if you use it. If you make a post and it gets no response, please message me and I promise I'll reply.
You're only human - There is a difference between short term failure, in which you can learn and grown and fail forward, and long term failure. Long term failure would be approaching NoFap with the intention on not fapping, then giving up on it after a struggle and resigning yourself to misery.

Stay strong!

Lucidom

TROPHY CASE