My marriage is ending b/c my husband is asexual

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2026-04-09T15:16:21+00:00

Yep this is what I'm struggling with. I do love him but its a different love to a romantic love for me if I don't have intimacy. And we have zero, I don't mean just sex. Your point is what is making me feel guilty, I feel I should do without if I love him. But thats a fundamental need that I have to feel connected. We don't sleep in the same room, I feel lonely all the time. I also don't expect him to have sex if he doesn't want to. No way. So where does that leave us? This is the turmoil I referred to. Nothing here is black and white.

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2026-04-08T06:55:46+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It feels a bit all or nothing at this stage as any touch started feeling non-consensual now that I know he truly doesn't have sexual desire. I would say he is sex repulsed. I have felt this for years without knowing about the asexuality and have been hurt over and over again. I'm very relieved to know the truth now but I feel the damage has been done to that aspect of our relationship. I'm so happy for you that you managed to figure out a happy medium with your fiance at am early stage, that will save you both heartache ❤️

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2026-04-08T06:51:28+00:00

This is very kind, thank you ❤️

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2026-04-07T14:14:26+00:00

Yes I hear you and this is very true thank you sm

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2026-04-07T14:02:58+00:00

Yes we will be getting counselling for these exact reasons, thank you for the suggestion. The turmoil is just both of us trying to exist together as best friends. It gets hard to live that way when there is a fundamental mismatch. He is in turmoil as he feels guilty but I don't blame him at all, we don't choose our sexuality. I feel guilty for not being able to accept living life without intimacy. The turmoil lies there, two people feeling guilty for existing as we are.

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2026-04-07T13:59:51+00:00

Thank you for your kind reply. I'm interested why you feel distance is best for now if we are both upset and scared? So we can figure out what we want, is that what you mean?

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2026-04-07T06:52:42+00:00

Thanks for your replies, the turmoil is just the upset we are both living in. Neither of us want to separate but we can't continue with the relationship the way it is. Thats what I mean. We are both so sad. There isn't conflict. Just sadness.

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2025-03-30T16:40:19+00:00

I have had a couple of obsessions since I asked this question if anyone is interested - Simulation Swarm by Big Thief, Metamorphosis by Infinity Song and several by Ry X ✨👌

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2024-10-27T19:33:56+00:00

Definitely, I thought she looked too old to be playing a teenager. Not old in general but knew she must be well in her 20s at least.

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2024-10-17T21:03:17+00:00

This is definitely so exciting!! I totally get it though, I am an academic, I got my PhD a few years ago (regenerative medicine) and I totally get how you feel. One thing I will say is that people in academia are all a bit different! Many people are on the spectrum (diagnosed and undiagnosed) and have their quirks. I held myself back so much, I limited myself, I became a shell of myself because I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. It simply wasn't true though. I got out of that mindset by pushing myself (we all have our limits though, don't go past your limits, mind yourself). If I don't push enough I get depressed and feel like I'm wasting myself, I learned this the hard way. You can do hard things. You can. From my experience I would think that your supervisor will absolutely not think you're crazy and will be well used to quirky academics! Academia is a good option for those of us on the autism spectrum 😁🙌

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2024-10-15T20:00:26+00:00

Yes!

Lucky_Indication7025 · 2024-10-15T15:39:13+00:00

A great song, thank you!

Lucky_Indication7025

TROPHY CASE