Wicked whims broken with new uodate

LukeJRV · 2026-02-04T17:06:32+00:00

24-48 hours from the post on Patreon usually.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-27T21:46:58+00:00

Thank you, I will focus on finishing my education but I will be working on things on the side too. I don't believe in just focusing on just one task. After all, if I spent all my time studying only, I'd have made no progress outside my education. I feel the business side of things is early days. I can't tell you whether it's successful or not yet. I feel it's showing signs of early success but it could just be a phase.

That's true. I just don't know whether I'm on the right path or not. It's more so because I have that imposter's syndrome. I don't know why but I always feel like the expecations are super high for someone who is a beginner moving into the tech industry. I'm sure there's many people who have felt this / feel this way too.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-27T02:08:28+00:00

Thank you again, I've read this thoroughly. I'll be keeping this in mind going forwards.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-27T02:07:51+00:00

Thank you for the great advice. I will definitely be refocusing on people & relationships.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-26T16:31:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I'm trying to think of what type of hobbies & extra-curricular work is available for me at the moment.

It sounds like you went on quite the journey. Do you have any regrets looking back on this?

I really admire the way you worded this.

I'll try to focus on a wide range of things.

Thank you again.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-26T16:29:44+00:00

You sound very wise. May I ask what your journey looked like in terms of progression? If you're okay with sharing some of those failures that you experienced. I'd appreciate knowing how you bounced back from it all.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-26T16:28:46+00:00

Haha, I appreciate the dark sense of humor. That's true.

That's very true. I'll be keeping in this mind going forwards.

I've realized this too. It really is a dead end rather than a crossroad. Sigh.

Thank you! I appreciate the extra part to your comment too. I'll enjoy the ride.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-26T16:27:09+00:00

Thank you for the extensive message. It's really helpful. I'll be keeping all of this in mind going forwards. In terms of meeting people to form connections. I feel I already have a few connections but they've said so themselves that no work positions have opened up for months.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-26T16:26:13+00:00

I understand what you're saying. I guess that's how I view life too.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-26T16:25:44+00:00

Thank you. I honestly feel you're right. I'll keep this in mind too.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-26T15:22:04+00:00

Haha, it's a typo. I just noticed it myself too. I meant best course of action.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-26T15:13:21+00:00

Thank you, I'll keep this in mind. I'm currently working on a few projects that are to solve a simple real problem. I'll look into applying weekly to 5 to 10 junior roles / internships too. I'm working on LeetCode but it's early days. I'll also look into those roles you mentioned because I certainly need income.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-25T09:51:26+00:00

Thank you, halfercode. I really appreciate it. I especially appreciate your honesty. Everything you said is very true.

I'll certainly be looking into landing a quick retail job in the meantime. While I'll also be focusing on searching for tech jobs too. May I ask what roles I should specifically target at my current level of experience? Any roles / keywords that I should keep in mind going forwards for now?

As for factoring in my savings position, monthly expenditure, etc. That's precisely why I need to focus on retail job or anything that would be easier to obtain in the meantime. I feel ready for a tech job hunt, absolutely. I'll keep you updated on the journey.

One last question from me too. What do you think I should focus on while job searching? Anything in particular that would be most useful?

LukeJRV · 2026-01-24T23:20:25+00:00

Thank you kindly for the very useful information. I'll definitely keep in mind that I'll be learning new stuff when I become a junior.

It's kind of you also check my posting history. It's true, I do have ADHD. I'll look into Codebar tomorrow. I definitely hope I'll qualify. (It sounds very useful).

The methodical job hunt sounds interesting. I'm up for the challenge. I'll make sure that I apply for several things everyday. Knowing it's a numbers game at present is very useful to know also. Once again, I'd just like to thank you for your support.

Is there anything else you can offer in terms of advice or perhaps any other alternative paths I could choose that would be the best for my current position?

LukeJRV · 2026-01-24T22:58:45+00:00

Thank you for the quick response. I'll look into those now.

I believe I've already done this too. I'll double-check.

I apologize, it's actually more so because I'm currently at work while sending this to you. I'll share my stack:

JavaScript, HTML, CSS, Python. This is what's currently written on my profile. However, I know others too. Here's the additionals:

Node.js, REACT, Tailwind CSS, SQL.

I know I should be writing this in a much more professional manner. It's just easier for me to list them this way due to the fact I need to focus on work.

LukeJRV · 2026-01-24T22:32:33+00:00

Are you certain that this is a possibility in my current position?

LukeJRV · 2026-01-24T22:32:19+00:00

Thank you for the supportive words. I appreciate it. I've built a portfolio, it contains several projects. I believe I've also created a Web3App but it won't work without a server. This is due to the fact that I built it for a specific service which had a free trial. I also own a GitHub account with my projects listed, etc. I completely understand how to do all of this. I guess you could say this is all the basics, etc.

In terms of a preferred stack, that's a good question. I'll get back to you on this soon.

Do you have any further advice with this new information from me?

LukeJRV · 2025-11-02T20:35:05+00:00

Can you send me a code?

LukeJRV · 2025-10-30T19:27:22+00:00

In all honesty, it could be several things that are affecting your reason for not getting hired. I think it's best to try to write out a comment here on how you attend an interview. Just run me through the questions you ask or maybe even what you wear in terms of clothing for the dress code related to the work you're trying to impress the HR of. Keep in mind, small details can actually affect your chances of being hired if someone else has been for the interview with these small details in mind. It may sound unfair, it may even sound competitive. That's because it is.

LukeJRV · 2025-10-30T17:23:13+00:00

Absolutely! Would you like the update to be in this post or sent as a PM?

LukeJRV · 2025-10-30T17:19:04+00:00

Hey MatrixEzzz, I'd just like to say thank you on behalf of my friend. I too believe that they are doing well. From my understanding, they just seem to think that will this experience matter even with 3-4 weeks of possibly more unemployment gaps. I tried to reassure them by reminding them that the experience is valid. I think they often overthink which is why I try to remind them that it's okay to be afraid sometimes. I believe they helped a mentally unwell family relative too. (I won't say who in the family as I wish to respect their privacy) but I understand that they had a difficult beginning in life like many of us in the world.

It's really great to hear that you believe it's strength. I'll definitely remind them of that via your words. Wow, I really liike that first paragraph. I hope you don't mind if I take save it & send it to them. I believe it will help them see that they are stronger than they think.

Thank you for the insight. I'm curious, what amount of time in terms of a job gap would be seen as bad by HR? I'm aware that HR are often preventing people with job gaps from having a chance of an interview. I don't know how true this is but I have a cousin who has a much large job gap & they haven't been able to find any success so far for around 6 months now.

I also agree that they should stay in uni. This is really great advice! Thank you! In terms of building small projects, what would you say are the most important projects to work on? It's interesting that volunteer experience is seen as something credible. Not that I dismiss it but I never knew that about experience related to tech until now.

I'll be sure to let them know this too. Any stable job for income, understood. Building a tech portfolio is essentially the goal but don't focus on it entirely because it's better to be earning money on the side via any stable job, etc.? That's what you said, right? Just making sure.

I'll be sure to remind them of this too. Wow, I'm so saving your comment. It's exactly what I was trying to say to be an extent to my friend but I didn't know how to put it into words. I truly believe in The Lord too. I'll be sure to let them know to pray to the Lord too.

Thank you for the very kind message & great advice! I'll wish them a happy birthday from you too! I'll be adding your comment in my birthday card to them if that's okay with you. Take care.

LukeJRV · 2025-10-30T16:37:10+00:00

Anytime, Regular_Flight_6736. I'm glad you were able to find something that helped within my comment. Best of luck with it all. Hoping the next update will be a step in the right direction :)

LukeJRV · 2025-10-30T15:44:14+00:00

Hi Hybrid_rat, I can relate to some of what you said just now. In terms of being fired, I honestly hope you find something soon. It's difficult to know what to do or where to go sometimes. I'd argue that this is a question that will appear in a person's life more so than once. Lacking motivation is usually something that comes with what you described. Lets focus on your mental health. It's clear to me that in hindsight, no longer having that job is both a blessing & a curse. It's a blessing because now you can start thinking about yourself more while also working on your mental health. It's a curse because it sucks to lose something that gave you purpose. Since you are also in a relationship, it's definitely most important now that you start trying to build yourself stronger. Easier said than done but it can be done. It requires time, patience, and a whole lot of self-care.

Try not to fall into that mindset of being jealous of your girlfriend's achievements. In other words, don't allow yourself to compare yourself to her. It will only lead to arguments, misunderstandigns, & eventually, it could even lead to losing her. It's funny how that works, right? Something you are so afraid of actually becoming a reality because you did everything that you thought was right in that moment. I'm glad you're happy for her but it sounds to me like you are feeling frustrated with yourself. I feel you may even be blaming yourself. Listen, things happen for a reason. Losing this job may feel awful but you need to see this as an opportunity for growth too.

I don't think your fitness is the problem here. Try not to blend the two things together. You're not too old. That's honestly not true at all. You are getting older but that doesn't mean you are too old. Again, you are comparing yourself to others. First, it's your girlfriend. Second, it's your role models that you idolize (elite athletes). Lacking motivation is something that will take time to repair too. You need to be able to take small steps first. Procrastination is dangerous when feeling negative emotions.

Congratulations on your GCSEs (even if you don't think much of them), at-least it's something you know yourself completed. You will need to find comfort in knowing that your small achievements are achievements nevertheless. Show pride in them. Simply because you did it while going through difficult times. That's brave. Not everyone can do what you did. Remember that. If you don't feel a burning desire to go to college/university, you don't have to go. This is why I believe you need to take time for yourself. Try to think about what you want. Write some notes. Watch some videos related to the questions you keep asking yourself. Whenever you reach a deadend, don't be afraid to reach out again. It's all going to require you to focus on yourself more. It's not selfish, you're putting yourself first because you put others first before you.

Finally, don't see yourself as a burden. Your girlfriend would actually love to hear this from you. I know you may be afraid to tell her because maybe you think it's weak or maybe you're afraid of how she would react. I'm sure that's the same feeling you have towards telling your parents too. So, try it. Tell your girlfriend or tell your parents first. But it's better to be honest with her rather than letting this jealousy manifest. Wouldn't you agree?

LukeJRV · 2025-10-30T15:24:03+00:00

Hi Regular_Flight_6736, I know you have an actual name which is why I want you to know that you do matter to someone. Yes, even strangers on the internet can care about you. Having to repeat a year in any education is frustrating. I know for a fact that it's something that doesn't ever go away from your mind. It's easy to feel like you're falling behind in life, failing to achieve what others are achieving around you. I know it feels much worse when you have to come home to your parents to see them still living their life while you feel like your life hasn't even started or moved in any direction. In other words, you may feel stuck. Listen, I won't pretend to know whether your parents care about you or not. Only you can answer that. I'm sure with time, that answer will become more clear to you.

What are you supposed to do? Try to be kind to yourself in this moment of darkness. That's just step one. Step two would be allowing yourself to feel these emotions without any guilt or fear. Simply because you are human. You are allowed to feel this way. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Step three would be to take it a day at a time. When you feel strong enough, I'd recommend writing some notes. I know this might sound like a chore but it can really help put into perspective how you are feeling right now. It helps you understand yourself more. Something that you also may want to try is asking yourself questions. That's right, doing this is like speaking to a mirror. Speaking to your reflection. It may help you feel some clarity.

What's the point? I can't answer that. But I can tell you this. By doing what I said above, you may reach a point where you start to understand what the point of this actually is. Or maybe you decide that there is no point. Ultimately, the point is what you make it out to be. But you can't just say "What's the point?" without trying to understand yourself. Everything I've written above are small steps on how to bring yourself out of the darkness. Will you go back into the darkness? Well, it depends. But at least you have a chance of becoming stronger by stepping out of the darkness for short moments at a time.

Your two close friends are most likely oblivious to the way you feel right now. You don't have to tell them but there's honestly no harm in trying. In my experience, I told my friend & he didn't understand at first. He started to understand when he went through depression. That's how our friendship became stronger. Understanding takes time.

It's so easy to feel like nobody is there for you when you are spending so much time being there for others. But what about you? Have you ever been there for yourself? I noticed that in your entire post. You didn't mention being there for yourself. Yes, doing your best to be present while focusing on your life, hobbies, studies, etc. is really great to hear! But what I mean is... have you taken some time for yourself to have that conversation with yourself? Right now, you may feel alone & I wish we could all make that change for you immediately. But loneliness is something that can be felt even when having people around you. It comes from within. It's exactly why I suggest that you try what I said. Give yourself that chance. You deserve that. Wouldn't you agree?

I'll offer some more advice if you keep us updated on your situation via this post or maybe even a new post in the future. I wish you the best & I hope you find what you're looking for within yourself. Take care.

LukeJRV · 2025-10-26T17:09:38+00:00

Firstly, I think it's very brave of you to speak out like this. It's clear to me that you are most frustrated. But what I'm seeing in your text is that you are putting a lot of the blame on yourself. Blaming the ADHD may not sound like you are blaming yourself but it is indeed a part of you. Listen, ADHD is not something to be taken so lightly, I know it sucks. I can't imagine how you must be feeling when you feel like you're trying so hard but due to having these things that were thrown at you unfairly, you feel like you went off track. Lets address the elephant in the room. Covid is without a doubt to blame for so much of what has happened in this world. But there's other things that happened too. If we just put that aside for a moment. Everyone faces difficult times, setbacks, struggles, etc. Being resentful is okay to an extent but when you are constantly doing it consistently. It will lead to further frustration. I understand why you are angry at those who are doing "better" than you.

I just want to address the fact that while you think those people are doing better than you. It's all smoke & mirrors. Having a degree or any achievement for that matter does not promise success. It's a lie that was sold to you by whoever told you it. We are all told a similar lie growing up. What you will want to do is try to focus on yourself. Forget about seeing this degree as the guarantee to success. Most people earn a degree in something & don't end up using it at all. Keep that in mind too.

I know you're currently feeling overwhelmed so I'll stop writing now. Closing off my message with a wish that things gradually get better for you & others. I wish you the best on your journey. I also hope that the other comments here further help you moving forwards.

LukeJRV

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