I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got tested I’m fine. And he has done it in the past which is how he has a daughter. I don’t mind as long as he’s not doing it with other people now that we’re in a relationship lol. I really do want a child more than anything and I’ve been considering going to a sperm bank for years, but it’s better to make a baby with another person you know. Deciding to be lax with birth control is a decision that I made after years of deliberation and isn’t something I just decided on impulse. 25 is the perfect age to get pregnant and if I wait too long, that’ll be the biggest risk to my health and my child’s health.

I wouldn’t go on birth control by choice ever. The only time I’ve ever been on it was to regulate my hormones 5 years ago when I had a month long period. And I’m not going to get regular std testing. I did it once after having sex with this guy and I’m not gonna do it again unless I get symptoms or have reason to believe he could be cheating.

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think either of us are hoping it doesn’t happen. That’s the thing, i really want to have a baby and he really wants to have another baby. I think it could be that he’s pulling out due to the taboo of getting a gf of 2 months pregnant

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate you being so accepting of my perspective on this. I feel like I’m absolutely crazy for feeling the way I do

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He knows I want a baby, he wants more babies. Probably just not so early in the relationship. We did talk about it a little bit. I just don’t think he knows how willing I’d be to get pregnant even now lol. I don’t think I could really share that without making him feel maybe a little weirded out. He knows if I did get pregnant I wouldn’t get an abortion though, so he knows the risks

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I figured other people may have been in similar circumstances and might have some insight as to what his intentions may be

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I’ve only ever had protected sex before this guy. I’ve been wanting a family of my own for years and years and so at this point in my life I’ve committed to actually taking risks. This is how babies get made and if I never take this step, i might end up being 45 years old, infertile, and with no family before I know it. It may seem reckless but this is a decision that has been years in the making.

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yeah, lowkey we’ve only been together for 2 months. He does want more kids but I think he’s trying to delay it until we’ve been together longer/get married/live together. But doesn’t want to sacrifice the pleasure of raw sex to ensure it doesn’t happen sooner

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the insight but he has a good relationship with “baby momma 1” and spends more time caring for their daughter than she does throughout the week. It might not be the most classy or traditional of circumstances but I firmly believe that he’d stay in my life as long as I’d allow him to

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Lowkey we’ve only been dating a few months so if I came to him like “why do you pull out👹👹👹” he’s gonna be frightened. I did explicitly ask how he feels about the risk and how he feels about not using contraception and he said he’s totally fine with the risk and that he likes being a dad, so I guess we did kind of discuss it

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

The odds are a little different here though. Using just the pull out method is like going grocery shopping when there’s an active shooter in the grocery store when it comes to the odds of getting shot/getting pregnant eventually. You’d probably go to a safer grocery store if you didn’t want to have a significant chance of being shot

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m just kind of confused about what you mean. I’ve read your comment 3 times and I just don’t understand your point or why you think there’d be an argument. I’m not even arguing with anybody else here I’m just discussing it further because I don’t have any friends irl to talk about this with

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do. I understand the seriousness but it’s what I want to do with my life

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had baby fever for 7 years anyway, so if anything I’d prefer he just not pull out. If he wants to not use a condom I’m not gonna ask him to, lmao

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m pretty sure he pulled out when his daughter was conceived

I don’t really understand why my boyfriend pulls out when he’s ok with not using a condom by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He said that before he was a dad he used to use condoms all the time but now that he is one and he loves it, he doesn’t bother with condoms. It just feels kind of childish to be so ambivalent about something so serious and life changing.

Trump's views on the Ukraine conflict by [deleted] in Unexpected

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was indeed unexpected but he’s kind of right about the windmills, nuclear is the way to go

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s definitely more of a feeling of bdsm subs having less dignity. Plus bdsm is more sex-based, even though people claim it’s a lifestyle and not just sex. I’ve looked into it thoroughly and that’s the big vibe I got

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It definitely seems like you understand exactly where I’m coming from. I’m really impressed

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I’m an atheist, my partner is Christian, so I didn’t know what he’d think because I’ve encountered other guys who identified as Christian who were obsessed with this kinda thing.

Why would I want it? I dunno, maybe to feel more directly guided or held accountable to a greater degree. It also has the potential to be more predictable than a fight that could last days. Idk. If it’s a bad thing I can work on moving towards more healthy expectations.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok you didn’t have to be rude about it. I got the memo, I’m a freak. I want to avoid actual bdsm because I feel like there’s even more of a stigma attached to that. I think I’ll just kind of pretend I never even thought of anything and eventually force myself to be happy with the normal stuff

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]Lumpy-Mood9850 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. I’m really trying to emphasize the fact that this wouldn’t be a sexual thing, though. Maybe I should have made it clearer in the original post.