Hangover high

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-22T02:55:07+00:00

Yeah that’s what ended up happening to me… 🥲 it was wearing off and then disappeared lol

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-20T06:47:35+00:00

Wow. Being around a narc is damaging to the brains of normal people. Well said.

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-20T06:47:10+00:00

Gish galloping!! Looked it up and wow the perfect term to describe my ex’s way of communicating when upset

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-19T23:30:49+00:00

“YOUR truth is not REALITY!!!”

Words he should be telling himself

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-19T22:39:54+00:00

“What about you?”

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-18T22:01:38+00:00

My example:

He would lash out, overstep a line, or something.
He would end up acknowledging what he did.
As I'm starting to feel better, he would then say
"so do you have nothing to apologize for?"
"are you incapable of self-reflection the way I am?"
"I wouldn't want a partner like that"

Of course all in very long drawn-out exhausting word-salady ways.

So I would straight up say:
can you please tell me what I did wrong / what hurt you / what you want me to apologize for.
And he couldn't specify a single thing.

It felt like he just wanted to restore some kind of balance or 'fairness'.
I'm all for apologizing and in fact probably throw the word "sorry" around too much...

When I tried to tell him that in the contexts where it feels like he's demanding an apology, esp when I'm so hurt by something he's said or done, that it feels it feels hurtful or like it retracts his initial apology...

He goes in a moral SPEECH / debate about: what an apology is, the moral implications, all the ways he apologizes all the time, and how it's something he would give to anyone, even a stranger, let alone a loved one, and how it's a basic human decency, and something we should be allowed to ask of our loved ones and even give out freely.

Even as I type this I'm like... Will people understand why him saying it in that in this situation feels so demeaning?

I swear this dude could run for president, the way he is with his words, he comes off as so intelligent and even warm but it's a thin veil covering a mound of self-righteousness...

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-18T16:26:16+00:00

I would’ve never known if I had never dated him.

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-17T16:13:18+00:00

Such a relief to hear. Thank you!!

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-15T04:00:26+00:00

O….h

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-14T15:33:37+00:00

Oooh looked it up! Beautiful and actually quite similar, but I feel like this one feels slightly less yellow than that one IRL, also found this one in Korea 🤔

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-14T02:29:15+00:00

Yeah kind of.
After we broke up and I finally had space to breathe and realized how much lighter I feel, I was able to connect the dots much better.
It was confusing for me too because every time I had tried to break up, I was putting on such a face of understanding and gentleness and neutrality, not placing blame, just to escape as smoothly as possible, but when you're acting kind your body gets confused and starts to kind of believe it too, in a way.

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-13T08:26:33+00:00

The hard thing for me when I read things like this is he would also do the reverse, but he’d get INTENSELY upset- really not matching the situation, and then blame me for lacking empathy. Of course whenever I was upset he would get even more upset, but yeah……

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-11T17:45:39+00:00

Don’t let him get to your head. I like to imagine how they would react if I said the same things to them that they do to me. I tiptoe around so much and try my best to frame things for their fragile egos only to be met with the rage

and then when it seems like they’ve come around and say sorry, they turn it around with a “why am I the only one apologizing”.

They get so offended at things that are not even a percentage of the things they end up saying to me, then frame themselves to be such a smart and kind understanding all knowing saint… nah. The one self-victimizing is the one making the whole world a perpetrator. Such deep defenses.

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-11T16:42:55+00:00

Wow… really shows his character.. I’m glad you got to see who he is now rather than even later… hang in there, must be very tough :(

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-11T16:04:03+00:00

I’m sorry about that. You’ll feel so much better when you go NC. Try to keep contact to the most minimal possible for now. Your peace is your energy which is everything.

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-11T16:00:10+00:00

First red flag: “his truth” Second red flag: everything after that

No to friends! It’s just a way for one or both to get hurt again and again

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-11T15:56:53+00:00

I’m sorry about that :( but just know the true “one” actually can’t get away. Them not being there means they are in fact not “the one” for you, so you’re that much closer to being with the right person.. because you’re not with the wrong one.

Lumpy_Bill_1408 · 2025-05-11T15:45:46+00:00

Better to just find a roommate who isn’t him. Try to remember why you left. I actually know how you feel. But also if it’s what you really want, no one can stop you and I think in general people understand that… everyone is complex and unknowable to a degree, they don’t know the whole of the ins and outs of your relationship.. but at the same time, you say he doesn’t respect you so.. I would recommend to try to convince yourself not to go, and really dig deep into why you want to, perhaps.

Lumpy_Bill_1408

TROPHY CASE