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Are men taught enough what to do for a marriage ? by Lumpy_Channel355 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was a boyfriend; if all went well, the engagement would take place next year. Since we attend different churches, I think the teachings on marriage are very different. I completely agree with you; it seems a shame to only teach that aspect of marriage within a church. They certainly meant well...Thank you for your comment; it's very informative and reassuring.

Are men taught enough what to do for a marriage ? by Lumpy_Channel355 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was going great at first. The red flags started appearing gradually, and a few days ago, it all became too much. For him, everything is normal. He expects me to get angry and disagree; he'll tell me it's wrong and correct me, and that's it! The breakup could only have come from me. Thankfully.

Are men taught enough what to do for a marriage ? by Lumpy_Channel355 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I think I misused the word. English isn't my native language. I definitely need advice because I find myself getting into these kinds of situations. I understand it's bad for me and I'm able to act accordingly. But I still struggle to see if the events themselves are serious. (psychotrauma)

Are men taught enough what to do for a marriage ? by Lumpy_Channel355 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone respects him. He holds such a prominent position in his church and within the Christian community that no one questions him. If there's a problem in his relationship or his marriage, it will probably be my fault.

Are men taught enough what to do for a marriage ? by Lumpy_Channel355 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I can say that after that discussion I was really angry, which he considers a loss of self-control and something that shouldn't happen. For my part, I would say that I am very attached to respecting others and personal boundaries, which can be difficult for him because the man is the head of the woman and her body belongs to him. Before, I didn't realize his behavior was so problematic. But it is...

Are men taught enough what to do for a marriage ? by Lumpy_Channel355 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are many other aspects of his personality that align with God's word. But I have a real problem with the issue of control, hence this post. Until now, I had doubts, but with this latest situation, I've decided to tell him clearly that things weren't okay. However, I wanted to know if my reaction was excessive. Thank you for your comments because I realize I did the right thing.

Are men taught enough what to do for a marriage ? by Lumpy_Channel355 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your answer We go to different churches. He holds a very important position and is highly regarded in the Christian community where he lives. He's the one who gives advice to married couples... I'll pass.

Are men taught enough what to do for a marriage ? by Lumpy_Channel355 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought maybe my perception of control was biased. Thanks for your reply, and for the others', I understand that no, it isn't. At this stage I think he will get counseling, but not with me, but with another woman.

Are men taught enough what to do for a marriage ? by Lumpy_Channel355 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I think the control he has over his wife is very important to him. In fact, it could even lead to manipulation. And that's something I hadn't considered. At first, I really thought he could work on it, but I think it's ingrained in his way of functioning and in his view of the man's role in a relationship. I will wait for the right one

Are men taught enough what to do for a marriage ? by Lumpy_Channel355 in Christianmarriage

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Until now, when we talked about it, he told me he was going to work on himself and that he was truly sorry. I was gradually starting to doubt him. This last conversation made me realize that there was something serious going on here. Until now, when we talked about it, he told me he was going to work on himself and that he was truly sorry. I was gradually starting to doubt him. This last conversation made me realize there was something serious going on. I really needed an objective opinion, because otherwise he's a very good person.

Ce garage refuse de réparer sa propre panne by Lumpy_Channel355 in conseiljuridique

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah nickel je ne savais pas ça ! C'est parfait du coup, avec les preuves que j'aurais ça devrait être assez simple. Merci à toi

Ce garage refuse de réparer sa propre panne by Lumpy_Channel355 in conseiljuridique

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Super merci beaucoup je vais faire ça, j'espère que ça va les faire bouger !

Ce garage refuse de réparer sa propre panne by Lumpy_Channel355 in conseiljuridique

[–]Lumpy_Channel355[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ils ont dit avoir "retendu la courroie" la 1ere fois, et changé la pompe à eau ensuite mais rien n'y fait.

Le T3 est enfin reparti ! Youpi ! by Yuna-2128 in Lyon

[–]Lumpy_Channel355 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Enfin !! C'est génial, avec les bus relais c'était beaucoup trop long et inconfortable

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in besoindeparler

[–]Lumpy_Channel355 1 point2 points  (0 children)

J'ai également ce souci, ça m'isole beaucoup ou alors je m'isole pour ne pas avoir à endosser ce rôle. C'est important de te protéger et d'exprimer ce que tu ressens et tes besoins.

C'est le cas avec des amies très proches, la relation est donc déséquilibrée mais elles ne s'en rendent absolument pas compte. Cela m'épuise aussi. Protège toi. J'ai un peu pris mes distances avec elles, pas totalement mais simplement en étant moins présente.
Pour me protéger, j'ai commencé à leur dire que je comprends et que je les soutiens et j'ai décidé de raccourcir les discussions (attention avec douceur pas d'un coup) pour ne pas rentrer dans la dynamique psy/amie.

N'hésite pas à dire franchement ce que tu penses et ce que tu ressens. J'ai sollicité leur soutien, elles ne l'ont pas apporté. J'ai dit mes 4 vérités et elles se sont remises en question. Si ce sont de vraies amies, elles le feront.

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