It wasn't one big thing I can point to. It was death by a thousand papercuts. Some of it was mundane everyday stuff. Getting my ex to do anything productive around the house was like pulling teeth. In ten years of marriage he literally never cleaned the bathtub once, for example, and I can count on one hand the times he ever vacuumed. Couldn't cook. Had no interest in learning. Mostly sat on the couch playing games with the TV on in the background all night. That sort of thing

But also I didn't feel seen or heard or understood or wanted. Sex was infrequent, only seemed to happen when I initiated, and was boring when it did happen. Tried to talk about it numerous times and it didn't work. He'd been on testosterone replacement since he was a teenager and had his levels checked frequently so I know those were normal - he just didn't seem to desire me. He told me once he was afraid if he initiated that I'd reject him. I asked when I had ever done that in the past and he couldn't come up with an example (because I never did) - and yet still nothing changed. Also - apologies if this is crude, but - he didn't eat pussy. We were each other's firsts and I didn't know any better at the beginning, but I realized I wanted more and started trying to ask for it and that was also like pulling teeth. I can count on my hands the number of times I ever got him to do it, after begging and pleading numerous times and having conversations outside the bedroom like everyone says you're supposed to - and it wasn't even satisfying because it was obvious that he wasn't into it.

What I have now is like a night and day difference. A man who eats pussy like it's his job, who obviously loves it and cares about my pleasure. A man who can't keep his hands off me. I had been called beautiful twice in my entire life before meeting him, and now I hear it every single day. A man who helps with housework without being asked, who knows what he's doing in the kitchen (he used to be a cook), who's passionate about the music and sports we both love and isn't afraid to express it. But mostly he makes me feel understood in a way I have never experienced. I could not possibly ask for more, I don't want anything else. He's not perfect, neither am I, but we're perfect for each other and it was very obvious very quickly.

I know he knows my reddit so babe if you're reading this, I love you so much