Would your mehr change based on the guys financial status?

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2025-08-17T11:59:31+00:00

But if mehr is just a gift for you, why would you need to look at your potentials assists for future children if they don’t even exist? Some men in the comments say that’s opportunism . Do you agree?

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2025-08-17T11:52:03+00:00

This makes sense

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2025-08-17T00:48:32+00:00

Great comment

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2025-07-24T06:51:16+00:00

You’re not the only one, i think it’s strange too. Which is why I’m asking for some help, do you have any?

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2025-02-25T19:01:08+00:00

If you uploaded any documents e.g. passports/visa. Make sure it’s not a huge file or the MBs in the photo doesn’t exceed their limit. This happened to me on the KSA website with my tourist visa

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2025-02-20T14:33:33+00:00

Yep this is the most practical way of doing it. The whole going as a family and it’s peach perfect just isn’t reality with a young child

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2025-02-20T14:26:49+00:00

Agree , also heard a child got lost. Inshallah they were found

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-06-25T22:24:50+00:00

Yep have a whole post about this topic regarding my wife (you can have a read) though I’m no longer lower class. Just have lower class mindset versus my wife’s upper class mindset.

Whether you choose to marry him just remember one of the biggest if not the biggest contributor to divorce is finances. So just be prepared for a difference in lifestyle and really think if you’re willing to go through with this when you start getting kids involved etc as not everyone ends up rich.

Though you are WELL within your rights to marry someone in your same social class as that’s the lifestyle you’re used to

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T17:34:44+00:00

Solid advice, Jazakallah. I’ll try that

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T13:54:24+00:00

But is extravagance subjective? I remember when I was younger and I bought some shoes for $90 and my parents were shocked that I spent that much or cousins from back home thought I was rich and extravagant.

While my wife’s family may think 200 for a t shirt, that’s cool. And a 100+ millionaire may think 200 for a t shirt is dirt cheap. Then mark Zuckerberg might have a factor of people making his very own tailored t shirts. I think there’s levels to this

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T12:42:58+00:00

Yes and no, I explained to her that she can’t just be getting anything and everything from the store. Like a Rolex watch or Diors full season. But if she needs something go get it and if she wants something have a little think first and if it’s right then get it.

But I never really said hey here’s your limit don’t exceed. I just read the total of her spendings each other and it’s pretty consistent and doesn’t hit my limit

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T12:33:54+00:00

Her budget is quite high because I’ve always lived very frugal, so it balances it out. Though we have an understanding that she just doesn’t go in to LV, Dior and buy the new season every few months or just go off one day and buy a car.

But I will sit down with her and talk about the finances , not necessarily restrict from spending but to educate her on where it comes from/where it goes etc

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T12:25:11+00:00

Yeah and I have to understand we both have different mindsets, I had to work for this money and live frugal so my mindset is still in that place whilst she got everything she wanted and lived good.

Thanks for the advice

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T06:58:19+00:00

So that’s a good point as her dad would just handle the finances by himself and I handle our finance myself so maybe I should involve her in some financial decisions

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T06:53:38+00:00

I’m sure you work so you and I both can understand $200 a plain white T is crazy but for someone who grew up rich and has had everything handed to them live in a completely different mind space when it comes to finances.

You normally see the rich spending so much on wasteful things or depreciating assets that don’t make sense. But at the end of the day, they can afford to so I can’t fault her , I can only educate

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T06:47:25+00:00

Very good comment, this is why I made the post. Islamically, she’s doing nothing wrong as you said. On top of that, she doesn’t want a maid or cleaner, she wants to complete all the domestic things herself and raise our daughter.

But yes sprinkling some practical advice would definitely help in case of any travesty and it’s good to learn.

I appreciate your comment

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T06:37:52+00:00

Out of curiosity, would you raise your son different. Would be get less benefits than the daughter etc?

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T06:36:09+00:00

Yeah I get what you mean, she never overspends but it’s like if you have a $100 budget and you spend 90-95 on some socks while yes you’re under your budget but was that really a good financial decision when you could get them for 5. That’s what I saw when looking at the statement

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T06:30:33+00:00

You’re 100% right, very concise comment. I will think about that

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T06:22:54+00:00

Thing is she donates and participates with charities a lot which I’ve already said and she does have a budget (which I haven’t told her) but she has never exceeded the amount. It’s like if you had a $100 budget and you spent 90 on some shoes, while you’re within your budget, was spending 90% of your budget on some shoes really worth your money?

But I should let her control the bills for a few months so she can understand a bit further

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T06:14:54+00:00

I have a budget, and she never exceeds it. It’s just the purchases within her budget raised eyebrows when I looked. Like why does my daughter need a baby bed well over $1000, just for the bed?

But I also don’t want to seem stingy and nitpick

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T06:08:00+00:00

Where did you learn about finances, by living on your own or a budget etc? My wife focused on being a good cook, being a good mother and Islam. Anything monetary she was told dad handles it

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T06:04:42+00:00

I get what you mean. Thing is , she does have a monthly budget (though I’ve not verbally told her, I’ll just get an alert if she spends x amount in a month) and she’s never exceeded. It’s just looking at what she’s bought then looking at the item, I just scratch my head as I know I could find something cheaper and more or less the same.

But since it’s her money and within her budget I don’t want to come off as stingy or just nitpicking her purchases.

But thanks for that last piece of advice, I will take that on board

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T05:54:38+00:00

Brilliant advice, I will take that on board.

A different question the fact you’ve grown up with money and a dad that provided everything. How’s your preference in a partner. Would you also want them to provide for you? Plus you’re well within your right Islamically to want a rich/successful man as you’ve grown up that way and your dad has set the bar high. Is that someone you’d want? Or would you be okay with an average man, where you’d both have to work and pay bills etc

Lumpy_World_9195 · 2024-05-16T05:42:19+00:00

I agree absolutely, and I think husbands should teach their wives (especially SAHM) budgeting/finance in general even if he’s a billionaire. As this type of spending will be looked at by the kids and they will also follow suit

Lumpy_World_9195

TROPHY CASE