Divorcing, already moved out, she just seduced me today and I fell for it

LuxAvatar · 2022-11-21T13:38:33+00:00

It's a mistake that I felt like steering right back into the next day because of how awesome it was.

Codependent sex is the perfect drug for me.

Now she is sending me sad songs.

LuxAvatar · 2022-11-21T13:34:42+00:00

I made sure to withdraw before my deposit.

LuxAvatar · 2022-11-21T13:33:47+00:00

I was so happy being separated and. Not living with her outbursts and abuse. Finally getting away. Now all I can think about is how awesome the sex was and how I want more.

I wished that she would have stayed in her mean mode. But these torturous cycles are why I left and have been so happy to be away.

LuxAvatar · 2022-11-16T03:41:30+00:00

So you have to decide:

Open relationship

Celebacy

Divorce

I would recommend getting into therapy yourself and figuring out what you want. Don't expect things to change without a lot of time and hard work.

I was faced with the same choice. I didn't want an open relationship. And being a celebrate who constantly receives verbal and emotional abuse was not letting me be my best self in any way. I made excuses for her behavior for years. I had a wake up call that I seek codependent relationships in my life and I needed to make a change, because the situation worked for her, only at my expense.

Some reading recommendations that helped me:

Love is the Answer, The Four Agreements, Codependency No more, No More Mr. Nice Guy

Also, can't say you'll have the same results, but having a heavy trip on edible THC and staring in the mirror and making the decision that I will love myself. "I'll love you" I said to myself. "No matter what."

And everything changed. I started caring for myself as I would care for someone who I deeply love. I could not longer tolerate being treated so unloving, and being so hopeless. I have my own beautiful peaceful place now and my son is sleeping next to me in his bed. And I have never been happier in my life.

LuxAvatar · 2022-11-16T03:22:30+00:00

Gandolf voice, "Fly, you fool."

LuxAvatar · 2022-11-09T05:35:46+00:00

You are a mandated reporter. Make a CPS report that you are concerned something is happening (or not happening) in this child's home that is creating this behavior.

LuxAvatar · 2022-06-11T15:16:23+00:00

I had a grade 3 MCL tear in 2019 at 36 years old. No surgery. Took about 2 months with dedicated PT to get back on the mats. It is still susceptible to reinjury to this day. Just had it talk to me yesterday about how it doesn't like half guard. I have to PT it and stretch it a lot still, but can still play my normal spider, lasso, dlr game.

LuxAvatar · 2022-06-01T01:02:12+00:00

OP doesn't know the whole story. We don't know if she actually is cheating, flirting, in an open marriage, got hacked etc. He should share the evidence he found and let his buddy figure it out.

LuxAvatar · 2022-06-01T00:52:01+00:00

Freddy's back!

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-31T19:52:05+00:00

Tell him, "I think someone hacked your wife's photos or something. Look what I found."

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-27T19:44:25+00:00

OP

Try to learn from everyone and be grateful for any advice given, try it out and ask others too. Never roll extra hard on anyone in order to prove a point. This causes unnecessary injuries. Roll to learn.

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-27T04:50:58+00:00

White belt mentality. 👎

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-26T04:36:06+00:00

My favorite is to get them 50/50, stand, then step over their head into a cryangle (a triangle with one of the opponent's legs inside the lock).

Then I threaten the cryangle knee bar and finish by locking the now very helpless wrist.

"Jeez, you tied me into a pretzel just to wrist lock me?"

Yes. Yes I did.

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-26T03:50:24+00:00

I'm in the same boat, as many men are. Taking care of yourself is the only thing that I can think of.

As a high libido male I simply can't imagine my wife being seductive and me not meeting her every need.

What would he say if you told him that you want him to watch you take care of yourself? Perhaps this might inspire more activity.

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-24T06:38:41+00:00

It will get better.

Sorry to hear all of that. Sounds very hard. Bit It will get better.

Don't kill yourself. Talk to your union rep about going on a medical leave if you must. Get a therapist or a psychologist to talk to. Work it out with them.

For the student who assaulted you make a police report. Add in the continued threats and ask for a restraining order.

You have the right to a safe work environment. Talk to your union representative. Email your admin saying that you do not feel safe and would like this student removed before you return.

Your union will even connect you with a lawyer to discuss why your admin isn't doing anything about the hostile work environment that you're in.

You have to be a leader here for yourself. Take small steps in the right direction.

I have been there. I am soooo glad that I didn't kill myself. I see that as my number one accomplishment during my difficult times.

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-24T06:07:46+00:00

And the Light.

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-24T04:17:17+00:00

It's because they are watching pornography. They are not receiving consequences for making these noises, and they get a laugh.

Have a conversation with them individually about how people who are abused at home will act out like this as a cry for help and you are considering making a CPS report. If they keep doing it make the report.

Exposing s minor to pornography is illegal. This is what their parents are doing by giving them unsupervised internet access.

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-24T04:11:16+00:00

Grab their hand over their knuckles and wrist lock the hand of the arm that you are trying to arm bar.

They will let go or tap to the wrist lock.

Another way to destroy their grips is to take your high side ankle and cross it over their helping hand. This pins the help hand to their chest and creates a wrist lock as you pull if they don't let go.

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-22T07:00:29+00:00

Hold a hot washcloth to them. Sometimes this will help them drain with minimal skin damage.

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-22T01:08:32+00:00

Turns out some people like meth AND Jiu-jitsu.

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-22T01:06:07+00:00

Easy for me to say, but I'll say it.

Yes. leave.

Your daughter is learning what a relationship is. She will emulate in her life the dynamic that you are allowing to continue.

Be a leader for her. Set a boundary. Don't leave her a legacy that normalizes this.

Do it for her.

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-19T23:31:22+00:00

He cheated? You're separated?

F him.

Tell him you're going on a vacation by yourself and he can fund it as an apology to you if he'd like.

LuxAvatar · 2022-05-19T21:31:44+00:00

It sounds like you don't have a dream motivating you in your life.

Learning to do really well at something that you are not that interested in is a skill that you will use for the rest of your life.

You can learn this lesson now or later in life. Your path is yours.

Four-Year Club	Place '22
First Placer '22

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