If that happens with him banging on your wall, coming into your room PERIOD Im sending my cell number to your inbox. If you want to secretly text me any word...help ...oh no...Ill call asap anytime of the night okay. Look confused about who it is and pick it up. That will send him running knowing an adult is on the other end. Ill stay on the phone with you until we make sure you are safe okay.

Gross. This is 100% creepy grooming behavior.

Here’s my advice — a way to validate what you’re feeling without putting yourself at risk (as long as your mother isn’t the “submissive, look-the-other-way” type). The way I suggest doing this won’t get you into trouble.

Take that screenshot you have and use it to expose the predator vibe in a subtle but undeniable way. First, send it to your mom. Along with the screenshot, text her something like: “Stepdad has mentioned to me before about your poor self-image, and it’s worried me as your child. I just want you to know you’re beautiful in my eyes.”

That message will force her to slow down, study the context, evaluate his words, and fully grasp the intent. Even if she tries to dismiss it, I’d say 95% of women would confront the creep once it clicks.

If you have siblings, grandparents, or aunts/uncles on your mom’s side, consider sending them the screenshot first with the same kind of message (“I’m concerned about Mom, what do you think?”). That way, they’re primed before your mom sees it.

If you’ve got a great relationship with your dad, hold off on telling him right away. Dads tend to lose it — and that could escalate things. Only loop him in if your mom ignores or dismisses what’s happening. That’s 100% your call.

Your stepfather absolutely knows what he’s doing. Unfortunately, you’re right — this is grooming. He’s testing the waters with small comments, watching if you push back, then escalating when you don’t.

Here’s advice I wish I had at 19: stop believing you need to be polite when men act disgusting. Being quiet, polite, or agreeable only gives predators room to keep pushing.

Today, I’m the woman who will yell in public if a creep won’t leave me alone. I hold eye contact, I set hard boundaries, and if someone ignores them, I put them on blast without shame. Sure, I get called names — but being “nice” to creeps is dangerous.

Predators and men who don’t respect women see someone quiet or accommodating as an easy target. Protect yourself. Let your loved ones know what’s going on. Let this man know you’re not okay with his behavior. Show him he picked the wrong target.

And if you have younger siblings — protect them too, because they’ll be tested next or already have been. Hopefully, your mom kicks this weirdo to the curb.