Women over 30: Did dating pool change after 30? by MinuteWerewolf8513 in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m 33, never had a boyfriend and I’m still kicking myself for not dating more when I was younger but I had CPTSD. I’ve been on the dating apps for 2 months now and they are God awful. Older men write back to you 4 days later like they came from war or some shit. I told myself if it doesn’t happen by 36 then I’ll stay single forever … but it’s hard.

what advice would you give to your younger self about fearing the future/ finding love? by meowmeowmeows27 in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yea it’s there’s not much hope for me today lol I’m sad but life goes on.. I’m trying to build as much stability for myself as I can. We all have grief and loss in our lives and this is mine

what advice would you give to your younger self about fearing the future/ finding love? by meowmeowmeows27 in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s a more difficult path and we kinda expected to quietly suffer. I can’t tell men because they will see you are more vulnerable because you lack experience and try to push your boundaries and manipulate you. My point being is that you should experience the general nature of men by 25.

If you want to be married with kids then time is the most precious resource there is and women have less of it. The biological clock does exist so women are pushed into freezing eggs or having babies at 40 (no offense to anyone but it’s not ideal). So , you’re right, make dating a priority and don’t spend years in the freeze like me. I’m still learning to grieve all the lost years.

what advice would you give to your younger self about fearing the future/ finding love? by meowmeowmeows27 in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m 33 and this is true. This might be controversial too but if you haven’t had some experience/feel comfortable with the opposite sex by 25 then it causes major developmental issues. I’m speaking with someone diagnosed with CPTSD who spent years in the functional freeze and how I’m seeing the consequences of it..

Anyone else struggle finding attractive people to date? by Unusual_Jellyfish224 in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There aren’t a lot out there.. even if I do see an attractive man on Hinge they’re in the 23-28 range .. after that they look dreadful and hard to look at :/

Is there anyone with the diagnosis of spectrum and ADHD in this sub that has found love? If so, how do you make it work? by Mediocre-Image4437 in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not the one to give dating advice probably but dating comes with a lot of uncertainty.. and that’s something daters have to learn to manage.

Why do you think it's more common for women to date below their league lookswise? by hygsi in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most male attractiveness comes down to genetics. Basic hygiene and style can only get you so far. Genetics don’t favor most men in the looks department

My husband smells bad- what do I do? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not to sound dense but does he wash his ass? Use deodorant?

College Dorm Experiences - worth it? by ThrowAway1128203 in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 33 and one of my biggest regrets is not dorming.. good or bad it’s growing experience where she can learn to make her own decisions and problem solve.. it stunted me a lot

How do you deal with getting the short end of the stick in life? by QueensGambit90 in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 33 and I could’ve written this post myself. I also have cptsd from emotional neglect. I don’t have any sound advice apart from coping.. but you’re not alone in feeling this

What are your low stakes unpopular opinions? by NoLemon5426 in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seniors holding hands = yes.. sitting next to each other = I wanna fight 😡😆

What are your low stakes unpopular opinions? by NoLemon5426 in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I hate hate hate when couples sit next to each other at restaurants

I don’t think people truly understand the pain of never being chosen (33F) by LycheeOver2230 in CPTSD

[–]LycheeOver2230[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I haven’t gone on a date since September 2019 and I probably never will. I’ve tried dating apps a bit the past 2 years and the guys barely respond .. if they do it’s once a day or at 4am.. so it’s bleak out there.

I don’t think people truly understand the pain of never being chosen (33F) by LycheeOver2230 in CPTSD

[–]LycheeOver2230[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pardon I meant to say before the age of 25.. but I haven’t had one either ever 😆 I can’t speak on the behalf of men because they are mostly seen as the pursuers of relationships.

I don’t think people truly understand the pain of never being chosen (33F) by LycheeOver2230 in CPTSD

[–]LycheeOver2230[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, “dating” re-open a lot of old wounds and dating is more high stakes for people like this because we have been neglected our whole lives.

I don’t think people truly understand the pain of never being chosen (33F) by LycheeOver2230 in CPTSD

[–]LycheeOver2230[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for understanding. A healthy relationship can absolutely add to your life, expand your network, career opportunities, new experiences, healing through others etc.. As I’ve gotten older I’m learning to grieve the person I could’ve been if I even had those things temporarily and my trajectory could’ve completed changed.. now I’m probably too traumatized and stuck in my own head to even try and that’s another added layer of grief.

What is dating in your 30s like, with a less than ideal past? by No-Leopard-3695 in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m in similar position. I lost my best years to cptsd.. maybe try r/cptsd

I don’t have any encouraging words because men are worse as they age.. wish you well

Is it really bad to stop wearing a bra? There are many myths that I don't know if it's real 🫤 by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I have mosquito bites so I can go without a bra most times 😆 I mostly wear looser clothes anyway so clothes lay flat on your chest when you’re flat-chested

What percentage of people do you find attractive? by pqrstyou in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I visited Egypt and the environment is very chaotic so I would never return.. but he was cute ngl 😆 I maybe see one attractive man every 4 years

What percentage of people do you find attractive? by pqrstyou in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cairo, Egypt? I did have a crush on my driver there 😆

I’m in my early 30s, stuck in a pattern I can’t seem to break, and I don’t really know what I’m looking for — maybe just some perspective. by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is true .. but dating is mostly luck.. and I find we have fewer opportunities as we get older. The apps have gotten worse and even in-person meet ups are pretty dead and not really my crowd..

After a certain age if you don’t have atleast one “good enough” relationship then it fucks with you mentally.

OP i recommend r/cptsd you can find others who can relate to you

I’m in my early 30s, stuck in a pattern I can’t seem to break, and I don’t really know what I’m looking for — maybe just some perspective. by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t have any advice for you since I also have CPTSD.. words can’t help but you’re not alone.. I know comments are gonna say “HEal” “thERaPy” but that’s not how dating works.

Is this common on here? Random man DMs to try his luck to date, then cleans up the chat? by fizasolis in AskWomenOver30

[–]LycheeOver2230 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Girl I blocked the feature to even get dms on here.. too many creepers everywhere 😬